When Love Is Not Enough

Story Reviews

Title (3/5)

The title states that "love isnt enough" when in this story you are actually trying to show that love can cross all boundaries even in the loss of memory and death so a title with an opposite meaning would be more suitable. You can look into focusing on the "gift" idea as well; the fact that you made people with special gifts or even guardians.
 
Foreward/Description (10/10)
 
It pretty much sums up the story so I think it's quite well thought of.
 
Appearance (4/5)
 
It is an ok poster but it does not bring out the feeling of luhan looking after sehun.
 
Plot (13/15)
 
The plot in general is great, I love the idea behind it but improvement can be made on story development and description/explanation.
 
The side couples really surprised me; Kris+Luhan, Kai+Lay and Kris+Chanyeol but good choice because they all end up with someone =]
 
I think more focus needs to be added to how Luhan is supposed to help Sehun and his actions because too much emphasis was placed on their love relationship development.
 
Kris is a perfect catalyst to their relationship and I believe more could have been input into their reunion after the tragedy; more emotions and angst. Same applies to part where Luhan leaves Sehun; their final day together. Since I am on this point, you have also failed to explain the memory loss part clearly; what happens? who forgets? everyone who has met Luhan? It seems Kai and Lay did but not Kris? Also more introduction to the idea of "gifted humans" and "guardians" can be expanded upon.
 
Overall I feel that this plot had a lot more potential.
 
 
Originality (15/15)
 
Definitely full marks here because I think its a lovely storyline and idea.
 
Grammer & Spelling (15/20)
 
I understand that this is your weak point but do try to improve on it as it affects the overall reading as this is one of the reasons why certain scenes lacked the emotional impact.
 
Flow (10/10)
 
You planned your story out well and it was paced in a good manner.
 
Characterization (7/10)
 
A lot more needed as mentioned above.
 
Overall Enjoyment (8/10)
 
Could be better written but loved the plot.
 
Total: 80/100
 
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aya-ELF #1
Chapter 85: Thank you for the review dear! I was relly shocked with the language part OTL, I'm gonna go fix it right now! By the way, do you think it will be better if I write a simple prologue to explain the life of a demon and what's the benefit to have a mate??
EPIONE #2
Heyy,

I don't know if you remember me, but I was just wondering where you're currently working this year as a reviewer?
I'd love to request from you again.

Best,
Epione
teenme14 #3
Chapter 72: Okay.. Thanks for the review ^^

Now to clarify XD
Title: As you said, the highlight/ of the story has not yet come. So yeahh..
Plot: This is my first chaptered story after my long hiatus from writing. After the hiatus, I wrote a two shot. So, I kinda forgot how to write a chaptered story XD The present time of the story is at the end of Summer (hence, their summer break). Oh, and I plan on making this fic a 40 chaptered fic.
- I guess I haven't mentioned the type of phone she is using. Samsung phones are quite cheap in Korea but are also expensive for people with financial probs. So, back to her phone. The phone she is using is a Samsung Galaxy Win Pro G3812. And she is using pre-paid which you'll have to top-up each time the credit finishes or it expires, whichever comes first.
- The cafe's delivery system works like this: A person will order through phone, and they jot down the name and address of the person. One of the workers will be asked to deliver the drink/food. If the house is near enough, they deliver by foot. If it is rather far, they ride a bike.
-I am not a dancer and... OTL I really need a dancer to help me whenever dancing scenes come up TT.TT
- About Mr. and Mrs. Kim, it will be known in the next chapter that I'm writing now.
Characterization: I am really bad at this XD Jongin's feelings at first was just merely interested. It's not a crush. He just simply feels interested by the girl. Hana & Sehun... We'll know more once we're more into the story XD

So.. yeah.. Thanks ^^ Sorry for the English mistakes. English is not my first language
teenme14 #4
Chapter 62: Thank you for the review! Glad you liked it! ^^ it's a bit fast paced coz I had a deadline to follow and finished it in 2 days xD I was planning on making a special chapter for the part before jongdae confessed to get to know Hye Sun better and how Jongdae came to like her. I was in a rush, so yeah. I was thinking that a LIFETIME to forget was that, he WOULD eventually fall in love with another girl but he would never forget Hye Sun since she was his first love. About the part where she died: I wanted her to die in an accifent rather than in the surgery was because Jongdae's parents died in an accident too which would somehow, idk, increase the pain (whut)
hanajoe #5
Chapter 32: Thanks for the review^^
I know my i'm not good enough in English T-T but i will try my best to write it!
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