Runes of Despair

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Story

Title (5/5)

Appropriate and deep enough for me; nothing to complain. 
 
Foreward/Description (6/10)
 
I can slowly guess who belongs to what group in the description but its not explicitly stated and can be rather confusing. Honestly, I had imagined a bunch of fighters on the run, escaping from the bounty hunters. But here you have rather innocent naive children being captured even before the story progresses so that is something else altogether.
 
Appearance (4/5)
 
The poster appears a bit plain to me and considering you have placed such strong emphasis on forming the army of boys it might have been nice to have them appear as well.
 
Plot (12/15)
 
I really love the plot, I think its extremely original, action-packed and engaging. Here are some critical feedbacks on the content I have which I hope you find useful:
 
- Since you decided to use a band (EXO) which by itself has members coming from a diverse background, it would have been better if you stuck to the truth; ie when stating where they came from, use their actual hometown.
- It might have been more interesting if you talked how they came about and their past before Yi-en actually revealed it. LIke this, readers would be kept guessing why they were captured and try to formulate a link between their parents etc. Since Yi-en already stated it, we're reading for the sake of reading knowing exactly what to expect, chapter 6-8 came off a bit boring. But kudos to keeping suspense on the Kyungsoo bit. 
- Where is Kris? Unless you plan to write a 60 chapter story, isn't it already quite far into the story for Kris to not have made an appearane yet? I'm just a bit sore here because Luhan seems to be the main character to me now. 
 
Once again, I really admire your creativity here in constructing a whole new universe, and giving hiearchy and organizations to your characters.
 
Originality (15/15)
 
Will give you full credit here for coming up with such an imaginative storyline. It is intricate and yet emotional, well done.
 
Language (19/20)
 
I really appreciated the footnote inserted for the usage of korean words. I cannot even count the number of times I have penalized someone on the usage of korean words in an english story assuming the whole world was supposed to understand what the hell that was so thank you. Though a footnote is hard to scroll through; maybe putting it in brackets beside the word might help; just a suggestion.
 
Minus one for slight confusion in certain sentence structures. Other than that, it's perfectly fine. 
 
Flow (7/10)
 
Like I mentioned above, some chapters came off a bit boring and honestly for what I am reviewing (till chapter 14) too little has happened.
 
Characterization (8/10)
 
I was a bit put off at imagining what I know to be a grown man as a wailing kid (Jongin) but I don't its fair for me to penalize you for not using EXO's actual characters and personality. I don't know them well but I can see a bit shining through.
 
I like how you have developed Eunkyung.
 
Overall Enjoyment (10/10)
 
I have to give you full marks, it was a long but good read. 
 
Reviewed by: eunhyuksgal
 
86/100!
 
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aya-ELF #1
Chapter 85: Thank you for the review dear! I was relly shocked with the language part OTL, I'm gonna go fix it right now! By the way, do you think it will be better if I write a simple prologue to explain the life of a demon and what's the benefit to have a mate??
EPIONE #2
Heyy,

I don't know if you remember me, but I was just wondering where you're currently working this year as a reviewer?
I'd love to request from you again.

Best,
Epione
teenme14 #3
Chapter 72: Okay.. Thanks for the review ^^

Now to clarify XD
Title: As you said, the highlight/ of the story has not yet come. So yeahh..
Plot: This is my first chaptered story after my long hiatus from writing. After the hiatus, I wrote a two shot. So, I kinda forgot how to write a chaptered story XD The present time of the story is at the end of Summer (hence, their summer break). Oh, and I plan on making this fic a 40 chaptered fic.
- I guess I haven't mentioned the type of phone she is using. Samsung phones are quite cheap in Korea but are also expensive for people with financial probs. So, back to her phone. The phone she is using is a Samsung Galaxy Win Pro G3812. And she is using pre-paid which you'll have to top-up each time the credit finishes or it expires, whichever comes first.
- The cafe's delivery system works like this: A person will order through phone, and they jot down the name and address of the person. One of the workers will be asked to deliver the drink/food. If the house is near enough, they deliver by foot. If it is rather far, they ride a bike.
-I am not a dancer and... OTL I really need a dancer to help me whenever dancing scenes come up TT.TT
- About Mr. and Mrs. Kim, it will be known in the next chapter that I'm writing now.
Characterization: I am really bad at this XD Jongin's feelings at first was just merely interested. It's not a crush. He just simply feels interested by the girl. Hana & Sehun... We'll know more once we're more into the story XD

So.. yeah.. Thanks ^^ Sorry for the English mistakes. English is not my first language
teenme14 #4
Chapter 62: Thank you for the review! Glad you liked it! ^^ it's a bit fast paced coz I had a deadline to follow and finished it in 2 days xD I was planning on making a special chapter for the part before jongdae confessed to get to know Hye Sun better and how Jongdae came to like her. I was in a rush, so yeah. I was thinking that a LIFETIME to forget was that, he WOULD eventually fall in love with another girl but he would never forget Hye Sun since she was his first love. About the part where she died: I wanted her to die in an accifent rather than in the surgery was because Jongdae's parents died in an accident too which would somehow, idk, increase the pain (whut)
hanajoe #5
Chapter 32: Thanks for the review^^
I know my i'm not good enough in English T-T but i will try my best to write it!
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