Escape Hell - Review
Story ReviewsOnce again finding it weird to do a review on an uncompleted story but here it goes; review on story so far...
Title (4/5)
Calling the place "hell" is very suitable; but I'm not sure if you want to revolve the story around "escaping hell" because if the hunhan love story is the main topic, "surviving hell" might be a nicer title. Just a suggestion. Because honestly I haven't sensed any strong will to escape from any one of them who's been trapped for decades.
Foreward/Description (9/10)
Good overall description but not sure if you want to include the content from the introduction chapter here. You describe the characters very briefly without delving into Seuhun's or Luhan's; you introduced their species here but you did not introduce the world to which they were born into.
Appearance (4/5)
The boys are gorgeous. Enough said. Good background choices as well.
Plot (13/15)
Very good so far with just a couple of pointers:
- For the introduction I feel that there is a lack of explanation to how the evolution of such species came about. You have set this story in a "future" timeline so you might want to talk about how they came about; maybe some form of genetic mutation of evolution of humans and whether this is inherited genetics etc which makes the tracking easier because it goes down the family line.
- Since you have modernized the setting; I feel that the "hell"set-up and torture methods could be more high-tech as well for example maybe the insertion of nano or chemical substances into their body and also more description into their cells; imagine something like that of "Thor" if you've watched the movie with high tech transparent walls or something which garners their powers useless etc
- I'm sorry but I could not catch who the "IT" was when the guards were gossiping about them
Because the story is incomplete I am finding it hard to judge the pace of story development; so far I find Sehun and Luhan's relationship a bit lacking in terms of faster development; unless you have planned something huge to happen and bam for them to realise what they mean to each other. "The One" also hasnt been properly explained.
Originality (15/15)
You're creating a whole new world and species for your story so I'm going to give you a lot of credit here. I am not an EXO fan so you made me google and I found out that they have something called "the power badge" and you used their powers assigned. *thumbs up*
Grammer & Spelling (20/20)
Really nothing to penalize here.
Flow (8/10)
Generally well done except I feel that relationship development for the main characters as compared to the side characters is a bit lacking. Also if title is "escape hell" I havent seen any attempts at it. Other than that flow is good but you can improve on POV because you do switch between focusing on characters in the middle of a chapter; distinction could be made clearer.
Characterization (9/10)
So far so good on explanation of their past.
Overall Enjoyment (10/10)
Definitely not unsubscribing after this review so full marks here; looking forward to the rest of the story ;-)
Total: 92/100
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