Two Sides of the Same Boy

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»Two Sides of the Same Boy Review«

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Story

Title (3/5)

I am going to start off by making this statement; I think your story is fantastic; it is deep and meaningful and interesting so in my opinion, the title does not give it justice. Having a title as such brings the attention towards Kai/Jongin instead; ie two version of this boy. However, I find that this story revolves around the main character Jin Hee more so I would have preferred a title based off her and her illness which creates these "two boys"
 
Foreward/Description (10/10)
 
I liked your description, you were able to highlight the main points of the story without giving everything away and hence providing it with a touch of mystery. 
Your foreword on the otherhand was simply perfection; I will admit that I would judge someone attempting to write on such a heavy and difficult topic so knowing that you/your friend personal underwent such an experience, I was a lot more confident proceeding with the reading. So props to that.
 
Appearance (3/5)
 
Once again it felt like the story revolved around Jongin/Kai; it is just a feel I have. 
 
Plot (13/15)
 
The only reason why I'm not giving you full marks is because this story is far from being completed and it is a bit hard to judge, there's still a long way to go for Jin Hee; will she ever recover? I guess that's the journey yet to be discovered. 
 
Just a small feedback would be; I did like the change in timeframe within a single chapter but sometimes I felt that certains parts were a bit too "deep" for a seven year old but that could be a personal opinion. Other than that, factual wise I have nothing much to criticize and that coming from me is a big deal so congrats. 
 
 
Originality (15/15)
 
I may be being a bit judgmental here but very matured writing for an EXO-based fanfic which is a rarity so good job there. I have to give you full marks because I find it essential you have full knowledge on a topic (in this case schizophrenia) because writing on it so I appreciate it.
 
Language (20/20)
 
Perfect. Been a long time since I read something of such good quality, I personally couldn't spot any mistakes.
 
Flow (8/10)
 
As mentioned above, slight confusion in jumps in terms of emotional state not the scenes itself ie a sixteen year old self talking and going into a seven year old talking or was it a sixteen year old self talking about her seven year old self? Hope you get what I mean.
 
Characterization (8/10)
 
Jin Hee's character is very well developed I must say. Haven't found any loopholes to be honest.
 
Giving you room for higher score in terms of Kai/Jongin's character development.
 
Overall Enjoyment (10/10)
 
I thoroughly enjoyed it. 
 
Reviewed by: eunhyuksgal
 
90/100!
 
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Comments

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aya-ELF #1
Chapter 85: Thank you for the review dear! I was relly shocked with the language part OTL, I'm gonna go fix it right now! By the way, do you think it will be better if I write a simple prologue to explain the life of a demon and what's the benefit to have a mate??
EPIONE #2
Heyy,

I don't know if you remember me, but I was just wondering where you're currently working this year as a reviewer?
I'd love to request from you again.

Best,
Epione
teenme14 #3
Chapter 72: Okay.. Thanks for the review ^^

Now to clarify XD
Title: As you said, the highlight/ of the story has not yet come. So yeahh..
Plot: This is my first chaptered story after my long hiatus from writing. After the hiatus, I wrote a two shot. So, I kinda forgot how to write a chaptered story XD The present time of the story is at the end of Summer (hence, their summer break). Oh, and I plan on making this fic a 40 chaptered fic.
- I guess I haven't mentioned the type of phone she is using. Samsung phones are quite cheap in Korea but are also expensive for people with financial probs. So, back to her phone. The phone she is using is a Samsung Galaxy Win Pro G3812. And she is using pre-paid which you'll have to top-up each time the credit finishes or it expires, whichever comes first.
- The cafe's delivery system works like this: A person will order through phone, and they jot down the name and address of the person. One of the workers will be asked to deliver the drink/food. If the house is near enough, they deliver by foot. If it is rather far, they ride a bike.
-I am not a dancer and... OTL I really need a dancer to help me whenever dancing scenes come up TT.TT
- About Mr. and Mrs. Kim, it will be known in the next chapter that I'm writing now.
Characterization: I am really bad at this XD Jongin's feelings at first was just merely interested. It's not a crush. He just simply feels interested by the girl. Hana & Sehun... We'll know more once we're more into the story XD

So.. yeah.. Thanks ^^ Sorry for the English mistakes. English is not my first language
teenme14 #4
Chapter 62: Thank you for the review! Glad you liked it! ^^ it's a bit fast paced coz I had a deadline to follow and finished it in 2 days xD I was planning on making a special chapter for the part before jongdae confessed to get to know Hye Sun better and how Jongdae came to like her. I was in a rush, so yeah. I was thinking that a LIFETIME to forget was that, he WOULD eventually fall in love with another girl but he would never forget Hye Sun since she was his first love. About the part where she died: I wanted her to die in an accifent rather than in the surgery was because Jongdae's parents died in an accident too which would somehow, idk, increase the pain (whut)
hanajoe #5
Chapter 32: Thanks for the review^^
I know my i'm not good enough in English T-T but i will try my best to write it!
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