Hydraengas

Story Reviews

»Hydraengas Review«

Hydraengas - main story image

Story

Title (5/5)

Symbolizes the entire story beautifully.
 
Foreward/Description (9/10)
 
I loved how your description encompassed both the animal portion and the hydraengas perfectly. Minus one cause the animal part did confuse me a bit before going into the story.
 
Appearance (4/5)
 
Should the flowers have been red instead? Or even chosing of a blue to red gradient?
 
Plot (14/15)
 
Minus one only because you didn't address the miracle of Baekyun becoming a human and the conversation they had at the start got me curious on who was speaking which line. Personally I had a lot of thoughts that went through my head on "what could have been" and gaps but I understand this is your story so I will push those aside and go into what you have done good to deserve a high score:
 
- Credits to forming the animal and human born without making it too disturbingly romantic; which is a talent. 
- Great development of their relationship, engaging readers emotionally
- I appreciated how you managed to bring in the hydraengas in chapter 2 after leaving me disappointed that Chanyeol did not get his wish fulfilled before death
 
Originality (15/15)
 
Very matured and unique theme on AFF and even more so in the EXO world so full score here.
 
Language (20/20)
 
Nothing to penalize here.
 
Flow (8/10)
 
The fact that you incorporated Baekyun's POV in between a third POV did cause slight confusion. You might even consider writing everything in Baekyun's POV?
 
Characterization (8/10)
 
First point off for not allowing your readers to understand Chanyeol more; what sickness is he suffering from? What was his intention in bringing a stray into his life if he knew he didn't have long to live; attaching himself emotionally.
 
Kris's entrance and significance was abrupt. He suddenly came into his life as a skeptic, and redeeming himself by agreeing to take care of Baekyun during Chayeol's death and then failing to do so again. I question the relationship between Kris and Chanyeol...talking about having a family...isn't that a bit romantic? Ending of the story is a big question mark too.
 
Overall Enjoyment (10/10)
 
Full marks. I enjoyed reading your beautiful story.
 
Reviewed by: eunhyuksgal
 
93/100!
 
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aya-ELF #1
Chapter 85: Thank you for the review dear! I was relly shocked with the language part OTL, I'm gonna go fix it right now! By the way, do you think it will be better if I write a simple prologue to explain the life of a demon and what's the benefit to have a mate??
EPIONE #2
Heyy,

I don't know if you remember me, but I was just wondering where you're currently working this year as a reviewer?
I'd love to request from you again.

Best,
Epione
teenme14 #3
Chapter 72: Okay.. Thanks for the review ^^

Now to clarify XD
Title: As you said, the highlight/ of the story has not yet come. So yeahh..
Plot: This is my first chaptered story after my long hiatus from writing. After the hiatus, I wrote a two shot. So, I kinda forgot how to write a chaptered story XD The present time of the story is at the end of Summer (hence, their summer break). Oh, and I plan on making this fic a 40 chaptered fic.
- I guess I haven't mentioned the type of phone she is using. Samsung phones are quite cheap in Korea but are also expensive for people with financial probs. So, back to her phone. The phone she is using is a Samsung Galaxy Win Pro G3812. And she is using pre-paid which you'll have to top-up each time the credit finishes or it expires, whichever comes first.
- The cafe's delivery system works like this: A person will order through phone, and they jot down the name and address of the person. One of the workers will be asked to deliver the drink/food. If the house is near enough, they deliver by foot. If it is rather far, they ride a bike.
-I am not a dancer and... OTL I really need a dancer to help me whenever dancing scenes come up TT.TT
- About Mr. and Mrs. Kim, it will be known in the next chapter that I'm writing now.
Characterization: I am really bad at this XD Jongin's feelings at first was just merely interested. It's not a crush. He just simply feels interested by the girl. Hana & Sehun... We'll know more once we're more into the story XD

So.. yeah.. Thanks ^^ Sorry for the English mistakes. English is not my first language
teenme14 #4
Chapter 62: Thank you for the review! Glad you liked it! ^^ it's a bit fast paced coz I had a deadline to follow and finished it in 2 days xD I was planning on making a special chapter for the part before jongdae confessed to get to know Hye Sun better and how Jongdae came to like her. I was in a rush, so yeah. I was thinking that a LIFETIME to forget was that, he WOULD eventually fall in love with another girl but he would never forget Hye Sun since she was his first love. About the part where she died: I wanted her to die in an accifent rather than in the surgery was because Jongdae's parents died in an accident too which would somehow, idk, increase the pain (whut)
hanajoe #5
Chapter 32: Thanks for the review^^
I know my i'm not good enough in English T-T but i will try my best to write it!
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