Jandi’s POV:

I opened my eyes lightly “Shoot! Did I fall asleep?” I thought as I found myself lying in Somin’s bed “I remember feeling dizzy—“

“Jandi are you alright?” two three voices called out

I didn’t realize there were people around, I remembered being alone in the room. But as soon as I tried to remember I felt an excruciating pain in the back of my head—a pain I remembered vividly and feared

“Jandi! Jandi!”

I turned to find Jihoo looking over me and there were SSboys and granny doing the same in their positions on the bedside

“Jandi! Do you recognize me?” I heard Jungmin say as Hyunjoong and Somin entered followed by Hyungjun

I nodded “Wha-what happened?” I asked weakly, though I knew the answer, judging by their faces. Yet I was still hoping against hope it wasn’t what I feared it was.

“Jandi-ya you don’t remember?” Somin asked worriedly

“No..I think I dozed off..” I tried getting up and a severe jolt of pain in the back of my head rose compelling me to fall back. I felt a numbing pain and almost no strength in my limb joints.

Everyone anxiously drew closer as I dropped back into bed

 “You don’t remember?” Granny said sitting down beside me “You were shaking tremendously, screaming weirdly…. your eyes, tongue had rolled up..”

I listened as she narrated my worst nightmare—a curse that has scared me for life, a nightmare I had to re-live time and again

“Granny” A woman appeared and clutched her shoulders “Let me have a look at her”

I didn’t recognize instantly who she was though I was glad she made Granny stop her vivid narration. As she took away Granny and came back to sit next to me,I tried to remember her bearing through the excruciating pain that was burning the back of my head and then I remembered. I had seen her in the hospital where Somin was admitted. She was Somin's doctor

“They had to call in a doctor!” I gulped “How bad was it this time?”

She lifted my arm and I shrieked as I felt a severe muscle sprain. The women immediately looked at me, her eyes bore into mine briefly before she politely apologized and wrapped the pressure cover on my arm

“The pressure’s normal…a bit high…probably because of…”she looked at me briefly , I knew she was weighing  her following words “but it’s nothing to alarming” She said.

I was well aware of the drill. They would check my pressure, flash the medical torch in my eyes, recommend blood tests, results of which will frustrate them further because there wont be anything unusual. They will be throwing stones in the dark until the time when they finally find whats wrong and then shy away.

The lady pulled out a little torch just as I suspected “Please raise her” She instructed Jihoo.

“I can do it” I said defiantly and rose up bearing through all the muscle pains. Before the woman flashed the light in my eyes I had the chance to glance briefly at everyone’s  expression and it was there, evident in everyone’s eyes, the pity and fear as they watched me. I didn’t blink as she moved the light over my eyes unlike normal people, I was so used to this routine that my brain no longer considered it in the list of involuntary reflex actions.

The doctor kept away her torchlight and looked at me. Her brief look felt abit different as if she was assessing me. Could she?...No way! None has been able to pin point it in one go

“Wrist please” she requested. She checked my pulse, she had the same thoughtful look on her face every doctor had. This group of people—the doctors—are all identical;with so many interactions with a number of them their actions have become very predictable to  me. I knew she was getting frustrated, because all the places she was looking at were perfectly normal.

She sighed and placed her hands in her lap—yes...She was definitely frustrated. I sympathized with her; she was probably now questioning her own medical knowledge. Well it’s not easy to recognize I’ll give her that. Moreover she looked very young, identifying my problem at one go is difficult for even experienced ones. I remembered how Uncle Chao was able to identify it after almost a month when he randomly instructed me to do an EEG.

Suddenly I felt a severe pain. The pain made me close my eyes and shriek. When I opened them, I realized what had happened. As I was lost in my train of thought, the female doctor had raised her hand to reach the back of head. The pain was caused due to the pressure she applied there. Dammit! How did she? Could she..NO WAY! I found her looking at me fixedly. I thought she would take her hand back but she didn’t. Instead it rose up exactly taking the track the pain had. She now pressed on a slightly higher point of my head than she had last time.  Another scream of pain threatened to escape from my mouth but I gritted my teeth to control it. She rose higher and pressed again. I tried controlling again but a grunt escaped my mouth involuntarily. She finally removed her hand much to my relief. The pain had become so severe that it made me sweat profusely and my breathing rugged.

Suddenly I felt cold firm hands on my forehead. I turned to find Jihoo intently looking at me as he wiped the sweat from my forehead. Our faces were very close and this was the first time I was looking into his eyes in such proximity. They looked familiar, like a distant memory that was blurry yet memorable.

“Mm..hmm” The doctor cleared and Jihoo and I both turned to her. She appeared calm and confident. “Hi Jandi..Do you know me?” she asked

I nodded lightly “You treated Somin”

“Correct. I am Dr. SeJung”

I lowered my head for a bow though I wasn’t really sure how I felt about her being here.

“You don’t remember what happened do you?” she asked

I wasn’t sure what my answer should be. I didn’t want my truth to be found out, not here atleast, infront of these people.

“It’s okay” she patted my arm, sensing my hesitation. She turned away and looked at others “Can I talk to her alone?”

Everyone nodded readily. When everyone left she turned towards me

“You had a seizure. An epileptic seizure” she said

My breathing stopped and my entire body froze. I have been found out, my curse is exposed!

She gazed at me silently before asking” Did anything of like this happen before?”

I immediately shook my head in denial, in a desperate attempt to hide the truth.

“Really?” she asked me again, this time her voice was somewhat authorative. I understood it was futile to hide this; she knew! I hung my head in surrender

“How long?” she asked

A tear dropped from my eyes as I looked up at her again “Since childhood.” I whispered “I was seven when I had my first attack” I choked remembering the memory

SeJung hugged me and caressed my back “It’s okay” she said. I knew better…nothing was okay when you have epilepsy.

“Have your triggers been identified?” she asked wiping my tears

“Flashes,too much or blinking lights” I replied

“The reporters were trying to take your pictures…that’s why” she said thoughtfully looking at the windows. i tried to remember and as I looked at the windows I recollected the bunch of reporters snapping their cameras at me. The pain grew severe and I looked away

“Are you taking your medications properly?” SeJung asked

“I was running out of them…so I halfed my dose” I confessed

“Jandi! You cant do that!!! This is a neurological disorder…you cant change the dosage according to your will!” she yelled

Neurological disorder…in colloquial terms 'retard'. This is what I was—an interesting case study for doctors and a retard for common people.

“Do you have it? Let me have a look at it. We need to give you refills” Sejung said

“Please no!” I begged “That would mean they will know about… about..” I shuddered at the thought of the prospect

“They have to Jandi..”

“SeJung! Please!”

“I am sorry Jandi but you need immediate care” she said cupping my face.I  pleaded but my pleading yielded no results. Although I knew she was doing good I couldn’t help but hate SeJung at this point. “Don’t bother with these. I will instruct them and they will take complete care of you. Get as much rest as you can. Infact..” she dug into her bag. I didn’t even want to look at her,I wish I could just go back in time and erase everything that happened

She took out an injection “This will help you sleep” she said fixing the needle and then inserted it into my skin

I didn’t care what she was giving me. As long as it wasn’t something that could kill me or erase the past half an hour..I wasn’t interested.

SeJung patted my hair “This is for your own good”

“Yeah right” I scoffed “You don’t know anything…you cant…” I turned away and laid down, my back facing her

She sighed and got up. I waited till I heard her walking out of the door to turn back.

SeJung didn’t close the door completely and so it left a sufficient opening. I watched as SeJung made her way to the living room where everyone was waiting for her. She started her narration and as I watched their expressions morphing from fear to pity I dozed off