“Okay. Let’s talk calmly. I’m tired of getting into another argument with you again and again” Jaehwan says and takes a seat at the dining table.

His elder boyfriend, Taekwoon keeps quiet but complies and sits opposite the younger. The elder wants to say something, but he decides to remain silent for now as he knows he is at fault.

“Do you love him?” Jaehwan asks quietly. His voice is cold, not the usual sweet and loud voice. The elder just stares at him, still not saying anything.

The two remains silent for a few minutes and Taekwoon’s eyes widen as he sees the younger is shaking at his seat. It is obvious that Jaehwan is upset and crying. The elder confirms with it as Jaehwan looks up with tearful eyes.

“One last question” Jaehwan starts. He sounds so serious that Taekwoon feels so small right at the moment. “Do you still love me?” Jaehwan asks, he sounds so broken and fragile.

“I..” Taekwoon starts but pauses at the half way and looks away from the younger.

Jaehwan sighs, feels so upset and disappointed. He loves the elder so much. He sacrificed the scholarship offered by his dream school to study at this community college; he sacrificed the chance to be with his parents and stay at the town with the elder. He never asked for more, he knows that the elder is cold but just a little affection and care from Taekwoon is already more than enough for him. As long as the elder still comes back to him at the end of the day, he is happy with it. However, things become so wrong lately.

“You know what. Let’s break up. I will move out soon” Jaehwan says and stands up, proceeds to their shared room to pack.

Taekwoon immediately stands up and holds the younger’s wrist. He asks, “Where are you going to? You have no one here”.

“Its not your business. Let go. You don’t even care, don’t bother asking” Jaehwan says and the elder lets go of the younger.

After the younger leaves, Taekwoon is left alone at the empty apartment, staring blankly at the ceiling.

To be honest, Taekwoon feels like a mess right now. He does not know why he did not ask for forgiveness from the younger. He does not know why he let the younger go so easily. However, he knows clearly the reason behind it.

Recently, he had been spending so much time with one of his junior, Hongbin. He does not know why but he can’t help but attracted to the younger. He kept convinced himself that that is just friendly act. However, he can’t find himself reject to any requests from Hongbin. There were times that he finds himself cancel his date with Jaehwan at the last minute because of Hongbin. He even forgot to attend the younger’s singing competition just because he was playing basketball with Hongbin. The worst out of all was last night. He had promised to bring Jaehwan to a dinner date to make up his mistake. He even promised to pick up the younger from the lakeside since the younger decided to do some sketching on nature. However, he ended up at the campus area, helping Hongbin with the younger’s assignment. It was only when the lightning and thunder strike that he remembered his date with Jaehwan. He immediately rushed out from the campus and went to the lake. When he reached, he saw Jaehwan was shivering and trembling under one of the shades. It was obvious that Jaehwan was not able to leave due to the heavy rain and completely soaked. Most importantly, he knew that Jaehwan was waiting for him. The younger always wait for him regardless of situation. When he approached the younger, the usual love and care in the younger’s eyes were gone. Jaehwan looked at him with hatred, disappointment. Although the younger followed him home, the younger chose not to talk to him. And this led to their break up in the moring.

At the same time, Jaehwan has taken a taxi to go over to his friend’s house. The one that he can rely on other than Taekwoon. He pays the taxi fares and gets off immediately, ignoring the look of the driver. Throughout the ride, the taxi driver keeps glancing at him, as he was crying non stop and up to a point the driver even offered him some tissues.

He presses the door bell, waiting with hope. If this friend of his not accepting him, then he really has no place to go. To his luck, the owner opens the door in few minutes later.

“Hyung! You are here!” his younger friend, Sanghyuk greets him cheerfully. However, Sanghyuk immediately finds that the visit is not something that he should feel happy with. Jaehwan looks really upset, on top of that, the elder brings along luggage and belongings.

“Come in, I will help you with it” Sanghyuk says and reaches over to help the elder with the bags. Jaehwan mutters a soft thanks and enters the house.

“It seems like you are going to crash here for a while. Its not that I mind since I’m living alone anyway. Just know that I’m here if you need a listener” Sanghyuk says as both of them settles at the living room. Jaehwan smiles at the younger, althougth Sanghyuk is younger, he is mature enough to be one who can share your problems.

“Taekwoon hyung and I.. broke up..” Jaehwan says, staring blankly, not particular at any object.

Sanghyuk is shock and he walks over to sit beside his friend. They broke up? I thought both of them are having a lovely relationship. Jaehwan hyung loves Taekwoon hyung so much. Although Taekwoon hyung is cold but I thought he treats Jaehwan hyung well.

“What happen?” Sanghyuk softly, hands reach out to touch his friend’s shoulder to comfort the elder.

Jaehwan sighs and tells the younger everything. He is tired of arguing with Taekwoon. He needs a listener who will listen to him or share his problem with.

Sanghyuk pulls the elder into his arms and hugs the elder after listening to the elder’s story. “I’m not going to cry. I’m tired of it.” Jaehwan defends himself when Sanghyuk looks at him with sad eyes.

“Then let’s enjoy our game time. I have bought new games!” Sanghyuk says excitedly and pulls the elder to his room. Jaehwan finds himself smiles due to happiness for the first time.

---- At Taekwoon’s apartment ----

Taekwoon can’t help but stares at the photos that decorate the wall of his shared room with Jaehwan. Those photos were taken since the day 1 they started dating until now. He once protested about hanging those photos but Jaehwan persuaded him with puppy eyes and pouty lips. He sighs and hand reaching out to take the last photo they taken together. It was about 2 months ago, the last time they went to a date together and that was before Hongbin came into their life.

Hongbin…Taekwoon sighs and sits on his bed.

Do I love Hongbin? But he is just a brother to me. My heart does not beats like crazy when I with him. But that does not explain why I can’t admit loudly that I love Jaehwan..

Jaehwan.. where are you now? I’m so sorry.. did you find a place? Taekwoon sighs again and he finds himself crying silently. He does not know it is because he misses Jaehwan or the guiltiness.

Taekwoon decides to find out his real feelings. He can’t stay longer in this situation. At least he needs to give himself and Jaehwan an explanation. Things do not go wrong in a mere second; he knows he has to do something with it.

He then drives off to Hongbin’s apartment. He decides to talk the younger, sorting out everything. Hongbin welcomes him with a smile and invites him inside the apartment.

Much to Hongbin’s surprise, Taekwoon kisses him on the lips the moment the elder enter the apartment.

“I’m sorry” Taekwoon apologizes after pulling away.

“Why did you do that?” Hongbin asks softly.

“I.. I wanted to know my real feelings.. I want to sort out everything..” Taekwoon says.

“And the conclusion is?” Hongbin asks.

“I don’t love you. At least not in the romance term. I don’t feel the sparks when I kiss you. I can feel the sparks when I am with Jaehwan” Taekwoon says, looking away from the younger.

“That’s because you love him, hyung” Hongbin says sternly.

Taekwoon looks up in surprise, “You are not angry?”

“Why should I?” Hongbin asks again.

“Because I kiss you?” Taekwoon replies.

“I can’t say that I’m completely okay with it. But if it makes you realized the truth, then its okay. You know, I always know that you are deeply in love with Jaehwan hyung. I think you are just confused because we have been so close since met and you have the protective nature which cause you to unconsciously take care of those who are younger than you” Hongbin says calmly.

Taekwoon smiles lightly at the younger. Suddenly, he feel so relieve at he has sorted out his feelings. He feels so stupid for making Jaehwan upset, the worst of it is when Jaehwan decides to leave him. How can I be so blind and stupid?

“Thank you Hongbin. I will leave now” Taekwoon says.

“Go to your princess. Don’t be stupid this time” Hongbin says and sends the elder off.

Taekwoon nods and runs to his car with a smile on his face. This time, he will not let Jaehwan go anymore.

He drives aimlessly at first, not sure where to go. Calling the younger is not a solution as Jaehwan has the tendency of switching off his phone when he has argument with him.

Ah. He must be at Sanghyuk’s house. Taekwoon thinks and make a U-turn to go to Sanghyuk’s house.

“Here for Jaehwan hyung?” Sanghyuk asks him when he reaches the house. Although Sanghyuk sounds calm, the look on his face tells Taekwoon that the younger is not happy with his arrival.

“Look. Jaehwan hyung is my best friend. I see him as my brother. I’m happy if you come to fix your mistake. If not, then just leave. This is the first time I see Jaehwan hyung so broken.” Sanghyuk says coldly, blocking the door, not allowing the elder to enter.

“Please.” Taekwoon pleads sincerely, he has to talk to the younger to sort thing out.

“Fine” Sanghyuk says and lets the elder to enter the house.

“Jaehwan hyung~ you have a visitor” Sanghyuk announces as he enters.

Jaehwan turns around with a smile, but immediately frowns as he sees his ex-boyfriend standing in front of him.

“I will leave for now. Call me if there’s anything, Jaehwan hyung” Sanghyuk says and leaves, earning a nod from Jaehwan.

“I went to see Hongbin” Taekwoon starts and Jaehwan feels like crying again. At time like this, the elder still goes to the younger. He feels his heart breaks even more.

“I sorted out my feelings. And I realized that I don’t love him. At least I don’t have the romance feels about it.” Taekwoon continues and Jaehwans looks up at him.

“so?” Jaehwan asks softly.

“I love you” Taekwoon says and walks over to hug Jaehwan.

“I’m sorry for being stupid. After you left, I realized that you mean a lot to me. I’m an idiot for making you upset and disappointed. I need you. I love you. and I’m sorry for everything. Can you come back to me? Please? I want be your boyfriend, not ex-boyfrend” Taekwoon begs, staring at the younger with hopeful eyes.

“Can you promise that you will not treat me like that anymore?” Jaehwan asks softly and the elder nods.

“Can you promise that you will see me as your priority?” the elder nods again.

“Okay. If you mess up this time then I will leave you for real” Jaehwan says and his the elder’s chest lightly.

Taekwoon smiles lightly and pecks the younger’s forehead.

“I love you so much, Jaehwan ah” Taekwoon confesses.

“I love you too. Have been loving you for a long time” Jaehwan says shyly.

“Don’t stop loving me. because I plan to love you for a long time” Taekwoon says and kiss the younger one last time before smiling lovingly at the younger.  

Enjoy reading :D