“Unrequited”

Part 3

There are some things that once you lose it, you’ll never be able to get it back…

“Taekwoon-ah?” she called her name.

“Huh?” Taekwoon finally snapped out of it. “Sorry, what were you saying?”

“Are you ok? You’ve been spacing out a lot lately,” she worried about him.

“Uh yeah…” he lied.

“So, are you doing anything next week?” she asked.

“No why?” he asked back.

“It’s … our 100^th day anniversary. Don’t you want to celebrate it together?”

He forgot.

“Um, sure. Where should we go?” Taekwoon asked.

Taekwoon has completely forgotten everything that was going on with her and has been constantly thinking about Hakyeon and Hyuk. He knew he shouldn’t be behaving this way but he couldn’t help it. He wanted to break free from these feelings he’s suddenly discovered but he’s trapped in them instead. Whenever he went out with her, his mind would be elsewhere. Whenever he sees her, he thinks about how he could’ve been back home with s instead. If he had gone home more often like he did before than maybe he would have noticed the changes between Hakyeon and Hyuk’s relationship.

He looked at his girlfriend and he really did like her. She was his ideal and a very nice girl but Taekwoon’s heartbeat wasn’t the same as before.

I shouldn’t have realized this… so, he had to say goodbye to her.

Hakyeon woke up early in the morning and was preparing breakfast like the usual for the members before they woke up since he’s an early bird but the rest are a bunch of night owls. He reached up the cupboards to grab some plates and set up the table but the cups were kind of out of reach.

Just then, an arm reached out for him to help him get it.

“Here,” it was Taekwoon.

“Thanks,” Hakyeon said. “You’re early today.

“Yeah…”

“Is something wrong?” Hakyeon asked.

“…”

Why didn’t I realize this before? Taekwoon thought to himself as he looked at Hakyeon. When were you this adorable with those beautiful beaded eyes of yours…

“Taekwoonie?” Hakyeon suddenly felt anxious and nervous at Taekwoon’s silent stares.

“Sorry. Let me help you finish breakfast. It’s faster with two people,” Taekwoon snapped out of his daze.

Taekwoon eventually helped Hakyeon finish breakfast and woke the members up individually. Of course, Hakyeon went to wake Hyuk up. He sat next to Hyuk’s bed and ruffled the younger’s silky short hair.

“Hyogi-ah, breakfast is ready,” Hakyeon said in a whispering melody.

Hyuk woke up still half asleep but smiled to hear Hakyeon’s voice. He pulled Hakyeon closer to him.

“Kiss me and I’ll wake up, maybe,” Hyuk whispered back.

“Heh,” Hakyeon cracked a smile from Hyuk’s request.

Hakyeon kisses Hyuk on the cheeks,” now go brush up and come out for breakfast.”

Hyuk was expecting a little more but he was still content nonetheless. He swung up from his spot and went to get washed up. He went out to join the rest of the members and found his way to sit next to Hakyeon like he’s been doing recently.

“Thanks for the breakfast,” Jaehwan said to Hakyeon.

“No worries, Taekwoon also helped make it,” Hakyeon said.

Hyuk twitched a little from that and looked at the two. The two of them alone? Suddenly, he felt a little uneasy but Hakyeon noticed it and placed some food on Hyuk’s plate as if he’s telling the younger not to worry.

“Eat up everyone,” Hakyeon said after Hyuk gave him a smile back.

Taekwoon simply watched on the side. He’s happy that the two of them looked happy but on the inside, he felt like he was breaking apart. He let out a disappointed sigh and pretended as if nothing was wrong with him.

The day went on like the usual and so did the days after that. Taekwoon was jealous of Hyuk to be honest, as much as he adores the younger as well, Hyuk has always received love from Hakyeon since they were trainees. Before, Hakyeon looked like an older brother for the Hyuk who was the smallest in the group. Now, it’s the opposite. Hyuk always looked out for Hakyeon and whenever Hakyeon was having a hard time monitoring everyone, Hyuk would step in to help. There are times where Hyuk and Hongbin would end up nagging the older members more so than Hakyeon nagged them.

Taekwoon was torn a little inside between the two and his own feelings. It’s time to just forget about it, isn’t it? He’s already too late and there’s nothing he can do anymore about it except to let it go. What’s gone is gone and there’s no way of getting it back.

Hakyeon noticed the time completely passing midnight and Taekwoon haven’t come back to the dorms yet. He thought that his friend might be staying at his girlfriend’s place but recently Taekwoon is either in the studio or back at the dorms. Hakyeon couldn’t help worry a little about Taekwoon so he decided to go out to the studio to check up on his friend because even Wonshik was home for once.

And Hakyeon was right. Taekwoon really was there in the recording studio but when he went inside to see what the other was doing, he was shocked. Taekwoon sat alone in the recording room of the studio, in front of the recording mic and crying.

Hakyeon rushed in to check on Taekwoon in concern.

“Taekwoon-ah! Are you okay?” Hakyeon wanted to open the doors and see how Taekwoon was doing but the latter locked himself inside.

“Hak… yeon?” Taekwoon could hear Hakyeon’s voice a little from outside.

“Open up. Are you okay? What happened?” Hakyeon continued to twist the doorknob.

“I’m fine. Just leave me alone, please,” Taekwoon said without being able to control his cracked voice and tears streaming down his face.

Hakyeon went out to the front of the recording room and the microphone.

“What’s wrong, Taekwoonie? You’re scaring me,” Hakyeon worries and said through the microphone.

Taekwoon looked at Hakyeon who sat in front of him who was divided by a glass window. He stared desperately at Hakyeon but knew well that there would be nothing but sorrows.

“I tried… I tried to stop thinking about it… but I can’t,” Taekwoon said through the mic and almost choking from his own tears.

“Did something happen between you and her?”

“It’s not about her. We’ve already broken up,” Taekwoon revealed.

“W-what? When?” Hakyeon was surprised.

“More than a month ago…”

“How did that happen? Did she do something to you?”

“No. She did nothing wrong. I was the one that broke up with her.”

“Why? I thought you liked her a lot.”

“That’s what I thought too.”

“Huh?” Hakyeon was confused. “Taekwoon-ah, let’s talk face to face. You’re scaring me trapping yourself in there. Why are you crying?”

“It’s because of you.”

“M-me?”

“Why did you have to be the one to find me in this state? I was fine being alone where no one can find me.”

“What are you saying?”

“I,..” Taekwoon bit his lips. “I know that you and Hyuk are going out. I’ve seen you two together.”

Hakyeon gulped nervously but how does that have anything to do with Taekwoon trapping himself inside and crying?

“You’re not mad that I hid that from you, are you? We just didn’t want our relationship affecting work so we didn’t say anything.”

“Then you should’ve kept it a secret more. Why did you get caught? Why did I have to find out? If I never knew, then I would never have to discover these damn feelings…” Taekwoon began to resent Hakyeon a little. He didn’t want to but he couldn’t help it.

“F-feelings?”

“I love you,” the vocalist said and looked straight at Hakyeon with pain in his eyes. He was hurting far too much.

“What are you saying? You like me? Why now?”

“You think I want to tell you this? I never planned on saying anything. I was going to just hide and let these feelings fade. If I cry enough, then soon, I’ll have nothing left to feel hurt about. Then, I can forget about you. So why are you here now?”

Hakyeon was confused and his head was in a mess. Taekwoon is in love with him? How did that happen and why now?

“You can’t, Taekwoon-ah. You can’t love me,” Hakyeon warns him.

“It’s already too late,” Taekwoon said.

“You can’t,” Hakyeon’s voice finally broke.

“I love you Cha Hakyeon. I lov-“

“You can’t! It’s already too late!” Hakyeon yelled through the microphone in frustration and dashed out of the recording room. He won’t allow himself to be confused. Not anymore.