“Lost”

~ Part II ~

They told me that I will be alright. I just needed time and eventually everything will be okay. But what do I do if I’m not fine?

“Taekwoon-ah? Wake up,” he said.

As Soon as Taekwoon opened his eyes, he saw a familiar face that almost brought him to tears.

“Is something wrong?” Hakyeon asks.

Taekwoon shook his head but he held tightly onto Hakyeon early in the morning. At first, Hakyeon was genuinely surprised by the sudden touches his lifelong friend kept giving him but after several days, Hakyeon eventually got used to it. He wasn’t sure why Taekwoon continued to do something so misleading but he couldn’t find it in his heart to say ‘no’ either.

“I made a bit of breakfast, come out and eat it,” Hakyeon said.

It has been almost a week since Taekwoon moved himself into Hakyeon’s apartment. At first, Taekwoon simply slept on the sofa and even sharing Hakyeon’s clothes but a few nights ago, Hakyeon found his lifelong friend crawling into his bed at night and sharing his queen-sized bed with Taekwoon.

Taekwoon was quiet and didn’t say much. He didn’t snore or kick while he was asleep, so Hakyeon was fine with it since he’s shared his bed with the others before too. But Hakyeon did notice it, his lifelong friend silently sobbing in his sleep and mumbling something so desperately that it broke the leader’s heart just hearing it in the silence.

“How is it?” Hakyeon asks Taekwoon about the casual breakfast he made early in the morning.

“It’s good,” Taekwoon said as he ate it slowly.

Hakyeon noticed the eyebags under Taekwoon’s eyes. It seems that even though they go to bed at the same time, Taekwoon wasn’t getting enough rest unlike Hakyeon.

“How was sleep last night?” the leader asks in worry.

“It’s okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah…”

Hakyeon looked at Taekwoon for a second, then bit his lips nervously before asking another question.

“Did you um… get in a fight with the others or something?”

“No. Not really,” Taekwoon simply shook his head as he looked at his bowl of cereal.

“Really? Then did you tell the others about staying here?”

“No… they don’t know.”

“What? You need to tell them! They’ll be worried if you suddenly go missing like this,” Hakyeon lectures his friend.

“It’s fine. They don’t need to know. They won’t worry about someone like me.”

“Huh? How can you say that? Of course they’ll worry about you. We’re family, aren’t we?”

“They won’t! They won’t look for me,” Taekwoon insists.

“Why?” Hakyeon could not understand.

“Because I-“

Taekwoon choked from his own words, not knowing how to bring them out and tell the leader. Hakyeon could see that Taekwoon has a lot to say but refuses to say it. This led the leader to feel irritated at not knowing what was going on.

Hakyeon got up from his seat and went to grab his phone.

“W-what are you doing?” Taekwoon felt nervous at the leader’s sudden actions.

“Since you won’t tell me, I’m going to ask the others directly,” Hakyeon said in anger.

“No! You can’t!” Taekwoon shouted and immediately rushed over to grab the phone out of the leader’s hands.

“What the hell are you doing?” Hakyeon shouts back. “Give it back to me! If you won’t tell me, I’ll ask the others too.”

“No!”

Taekwoon struggles to keep Hakyeon’s phone away from its owner’s hands and was reluctant to give in to the leader’s demands.

“Give it back!” Hakyeon demands.

“No!”

As the two fought, Taekwoon finds himself tripping over from behind and accidentally pulling Hakyeon down with him. The two fell hard onto the wooden floor with a loud thud that follows.

The phone fell out of the two’s hands amongst their fight and landed on the floor.

A call went through on its own.

“Hello?” it was Hyuk’s voice.

“Hy-“ Hakyeon wanted to call out the younger's name but Taekwoon covered his mouth and prevented him from doing so.

“Hello?” Hyuk tries again. “Hyung?”

Hakyeon couldn’t say anything.

“What’s wrong?” another voice could be heard on the other side.

“Hongbin-hyung. I just got a call from Hakyeon-hyung,” Hyuk said.

“Don’t be crazy. You’re hallucinating. It can’t be Hakyeon-hyung,” Hongbin said.

What is he saying? Hakyeon was having a hard time understanding the strange conversation between the two younger members.

“But, what if it is hyung? What if he’s really calling us?” Hyuk sounds persistent.

“It isn’t! First Taekwoon-hyung and now you too?” Hongbin raises his voice. “Hakyeon-hyung is dead! You need to accept it!”

Hakyeon froze.

He could hear the youngest sobbing on the other side of the call and Hongbin who tried to hold back from saying anymore painful words.

“This is a joke, right?” Hakyeon didn’t know why but tears began to fall and Taekwoon took his hands off of the leader’s mouth. The secret he was so desperate in keeping has been broken.

“Answer me, Taekwoon,” Hakyeon looked at his friend’s eyes, hoping that the other would tell him that this was just the usual prank, trying to scare their fragile leader.

But Taekwoon’s silence confirmed it.

“No… it’s not true,” Hakyeon denies and grabbed his phone firmly.

“It’s me, guys! I’m here! Can you hear me?” Hakyeon shouts desperately into the phone but neither members heard his voice and the call ended by itself.

Silence filled the room and only a mixed feeling of both confusion and frustration could be felt.

Hakyeon stayed still in his spot, holding onto his phone and then trying to dial each one of his contacts repeatedly. But none of it went through.

“Am I really dead?” Hakyeon asks the one question Taekwoon has been trying to escape from this entire time.

Taekwoon’s throat was feeling dry no matter how much he tried to swallow. His heart was beating loudly and nervously. He didn’t want to answer to that question at all.

He looked up at Hakyeon and then looked back down onto the floor.

“Am I dead?” Hakyeon asks again.

Taekwoon’s tears gave in first, “I’m sorry…