"Baseball Cap"

"Hyung, you're early," the youngest said to his roommate who rarely comes home.

"Yeah, I couldn't sleep. did I wake you up?" Wonshik asked.

"Nah but that's unusual for you," Hyuk titled his head in question because everyone knew that the rapper of the group was a deep sleeper and would sleep for days if it wasn't for putting a million of ideas to work.

"Yeah, I know," Wonshik replied simple and patted the younger back to bed since it was only six in the morning.

Wonshik went out of the bedroom and started to walk around the dorms curiously and wondering what to do since he woke up a little too early. He didn't want to wake the others up especially since Hongbin and Jaehwan have been gaming all night long. Hongbin has been starting to do live streams for gaming but he did it for the entire night until really late. Jaehwan, on the other hand, has also been coming home late because of musical rehearsals and practice but after returning, he would still go on his computer to play some games. There were even times when he would go to bother Hongbin who was in the middle of live streaming. It wasn't bad though since the fans loved the surprise guest.

Taekwoon also went back to his parent's house for the week as he finished up his after parties for 'Elisabeth' and though everyone was busy with their own work, Wonshik couldn't stay at ease.

His solo album was finally released and he really worked hard on it too. He remembered the days and nights when he would stay up late to complete a single song. He often forgot to sleep or eat, making everyone really worried especially VIXX's leader.

[I won't be around but make sure you guys eat properly! Especially you, Kim Wonshik!] was one of the messages the leader sent to the group chat before he officially enlisted.

Wonshik looked at his phone subconsciously and ended up scrolling through all the messages the leader had sent him. Hakyeon has always been a worrywart as much as he trusted the members. He really is just like the oldest brother in the family.

Wonshik found himself wandering inside of the leader's room in their dorms. There weren't many things left there since the leader moved out but there were times Hakyeon would stay in the dorms for the night due to their group activities.

He's way too neat and organized, Wonshik thought as he saw the leader's room. He hasn't gone into the leader's room in a long time and only Jaehwan would be the one to keep going into Hakyeon's room to bother the leader or just simply chat. It's no wonder the cute vocalist is Hakyeon's favorite. Even until he left, I never got to tell him everything... about my feelings...

Wonshik sighed and looked at the message he had sent on Twitter for the leader on the day of the leader's enlistment. When Wonshik sent it, he felt a little drunk and only when he was a little out of his mind would he reveal how he truly felt about the leader and though it was only hours after the leader left, Wonshik found himself missing the leader and dug his phone out to write the message. He placed it as a draft in his Twitter, debating whether or not to send it but in the end, he did.

I'm such a coward. I wonder if hyung ever saw that message though... it's all over Twitter already, right? Wonshik hoped a little that the leader would have read the message and the next time Hakyeon could get a hold of s, he would pester Wonshik about it. What if hyung is too busy to even check his phone now?

As Wonshik went around Hakyeon's room, he saw many things that were very nostalgic to him. He remembers seeing the leader wear the same jackets or shoes a few times before during different events, shows, or just at the airport. Hakyeon also left a lot of candles behind before he left which were all homemade, even the members got some as gifts. Wonshik still couldn't find it in himself to use them though, how could he when it's precious? Wonshik found himself sitting in Hakyeon's chair and looked at all of their group pictures that the leader have kept on his desk so that he could see them at any time without fail. As Wonshik saw them, even he started to reminisce about their past. There were photos of their first wins together, their debut, the sunset they saw together and even pictures from back when they were trainees. All of the members were together in those photos and as Wonshik continued to look at them, he couldn't help but let a tear slip out.

You're not even gone forever and here I am, missing you this much already... it's only until next year and I'll get to see you again. So why, why do I feel so lonely all of a sudden?

Wonshik knew why though. It wasn't hard to guess. After all, they've spent their youth together and Hakyeon was the first person who made Wonshik felt like he belonged in the company and the group. Wonshik didn't mind being an idol because of Hakyeon.

As Wonshik opened one of the drawers to check what else the leader has left behind, he saw a familiar red cap.

"He still has it?" Wonshik remembered the cap immediately since he wrote about it on his Twitter already.

The red cap that Hakyeon wore when they first met in that training room. There was no way Wonshik would forget it because not only was the cap too showy but also because of Hakyeon who smiled at him so brightly even though it was their first time meeting. It was quite beaten up and Hakyeon hasn't worn it for years, so Wonshik thought that their leader would have disposed of it already but that didn't seem to be the case. The cap was still kept preciously in a drawer all to itself and no matter how worn out it looked, the leader kept it safely.

It's so like you, hyung... Wonshik smiled bitterly and sweetly at the same time.

Cha Hakyeon was not the type to throw things away because he got bored of it or that it's broken. The leader took care of broken things even more than new ones and tried his best to fix it. It has always been like that since the beginning. No matter how broken the leader was feeling inside from all the work and stress, Hakyeon would always find a way to get back on his feet. When the younger members felt like giving up, throwing a fit, threatening to quit their idol life, Hakyeon would always find them and help them find a reason to keep on going. Giving up was not something Hakyeon knew how to do.

Maybe that's why Wonshik is the same now because he's learned so much from the leader over the years. The rapper had a hard time with Hakyeon's affections and often pushed him away but whenever Wonshik watches the leader practice, he was reminded again just how much he truly respects Hakyeon for who he is. Wonshik learned to value every experience he got and every piece of music he's created. In the past, throwing them into the trash was very easy to do but now, he is always reminded of the leader's lecturing.

"Why are you throwing them out? You can still use them in the future. Make them better! I know you can because you're Kim Wonshik," Hakyeon's words rung through Wonshik's mind.

Wonshik thought back at all the things the older once said to him and then let out a sigh of defeat. Hakyeon was never the type to give up no matter how many times people tell him to do so. Even with his choreography, the leader would continue to perfect it until he can finally put all of his ideas together into one or even save it for the future. Wonshik has always found that part of the leader admirable, it was an aspect of the older he wished he had.

As Wonshik held onto the red baseball cap, images of the leader's back appeared in his mind, and he started to have flashbacks to when they were still trainees. Those were really fun times even though they were working so desperately at the same time for a chance to debut. But the leader has always been a leader even amongst all the trainees and have always encouraged the members to stick together and work together towards their goals. Everyone was different in personality and interest but their goals were the same. Hakyeon was an innate leader since the start, and he had the ability to gather people around him, no matter how different everyone was. Maybe that's why they were able to become such a close-knitted family. 

Knock. Knock.

"Are you done crying, yet?" Hyuk peeked into the leader's room to find Wonshik hiding there.

"I'm not crying," Wonshik told the youngest. "How'd you find me here anyway?"

"It's not that hard to guess. don't think we didn't notice you've been wearing a lot of Hakyeon-hyung's clothes lately. You're going to start becoming a creep soon," Hyuk laughed at the rapper.

"Shut up. I'm just borrowing his clothes since no one is around to wear them. It's nothing," Wonshik was trying to find a plausible excuse.

"Mhmm~" Hyuk obviously didn't believe him.

"Anyways, get out and leave me alone.

"Honestly, if you miss hyung that much, you should just give him a call or send him a message. I'm sure it'll encourage Hakyeon-hyung a lot too if he got a message from you."

"I don't know what to say though."

"Of course you do. You already said enough mushy things on Twitter, it shouldn't be that hard to send him an actual message yourself."

"And did you send one?" Wonshik was curious.

"That's a secret~" Hyuk grinned and left the room without responding to the rapper's questions.

Wonshik sighed in defeat at the younger's teasing and then let out a little smile. "I guess it won't hurt to do it."

A/N

Who's Hakyeon-deprived like me?