"Eclipse"

“I’m scared,” he said. 

“What? Of the dark?” The younger asked.

The older nodded. 

“But it’s not just that...” he continued.

”Then what is it?” he asked again.

“I’m just... scared.”

Without a definite answer, Wonshik continued to think about that day even now. He never got the real reason as to why the oldest of the group was afraid that day. He only knew that Hakyeon didn’t like the dark.

Wonshik was in his studio that night, working on a new track. He’s been really busy preparing for his and Taekwoon’s concert, LR’s first solo concert to be exact.

Aside from rehearsals and dance practices, Wonshik was also working as an emcee for a beauty show and composing music with his friends. He enjoyed the busy schedule though because everyone knew that Kim Wonshik was a workaholic. He felt worst if he wasn’t working in something and he lived greatly by his motto, tattooed on his collarbones “you only live once”. So, he worked even harder.

As busy as he is though, he couldn’t help think back about that day when he heard his leader talking about something regarding the eclipse. A rare phenomenon that it’s almost too rare to catch a glimpse of but Wonshik was able to see it with the rest of s. 

“I’m afraid...” those words coming from his leader’s mouth, rung in his mind once more.

Wonshik stared at the poster hung on the wall inside of his studio for the LR concert and the title of this concert is ‘Eclipse’. 

He, as well as the rest of the company thought it was the perfect name for their duet concert and was very excited about it. But as he stared at the poster over and over again, he couldn’t help but think about Hakyeon. 

What did the older mean by being scared of the eclipse? 

Hakyeon has many things he’s afraid of - the dark, horror movies, blood and more. The real question was what he isn’t afraid of. But as scaredy cat as Hakyeon was, it was rare for him to suddenly open up like that yet so vague in what he said. 

Wonshik wrote the words ‘eclipse’ on his notebook and tapped his pen on the piece of paper.  He kept repeating the words over and over in his head that he thought he was going to die of overthinking too much. 

Just then, Hyuk popped by his studio.

”Hyung, are you coming back tonight?” The younger asked.

”I still got work to do. What are you doing here?” Wonshik asked back.

”I was just practicing some dance with Hongbin-hyung and Hakyeon-hyung,” he told him.

”Hakyeon-hyung too?” 

“Mhmm.”

”I see... how did it go?” 

“Not bad. Why?”

”Just wondering.”

”Well, I think Hakyeon-hyung is really out of shape lately. He’s been so focused on his musical that he hasn’t really danced or exercise in a while. He gets tired even when we go out jogging together in the morning,” Hyuk sighed. “What is he going to do about the Olympics?”

Wonshuk shrugged since even he barely got the chance to exercise lately due to his hectic schedule. 

“But Hakyeon-hyung has been acting a bit weird. I wonder if it’s because of his musical...”

”Weird?” 

“Well, actually... he’s been having a few mental breakdowns lately.”

”What?”

”Yeah... during our practice, he would suddenly break down in tears and cry. When we asked him what was wrong, he just said he got emotional thinking about his musical script,” Hyuk said.

”What did you guys do?” Wonshik grew even more worried. 

“Well, we couldn’t do much except give him a hug of reassurance? But me and Hongbin-hyung is running out of ideas now for what to do. Maybe it was a bad idea for Hakyeon-hyung to perform in that musical.”

Wonshik grew worried as he thought about the leader. Despite having no plans to return to the dorms that night, he knew he wouldn’t be able to compose at ease if he didn’t at least see his leader’s face.

It felt rather strange to be honest to return home after weeks of trapping himself in his studio. He was having dinner with the other members for the first time in weeks. He’s seen Taekwoon the most since they were preparing their concert together and Jaehwan would pop up from time to time to play with Ongdongie. Aside from that, he seldom sees the other three especially now that Hakyeon was flying back and forth between Seoul and Japan, they saw each other even less.

But Hakyeon was behaving like he normally would and if Hyuk didn’t mention about the older breaking down, Hakyeon looked completely fine. 

“Here, eat some more,” Hakyeon placed some food in Wonshik’s bowl. 

“Thanks hyung,” the younger smiled. 

“Have you been eating properly?”

Wonshik nodded. 

“Liar. I bet you always forget to eat. Both of you are always bad at eating when you need to,” Hakyeon scolded both Taekwoon and Wonshik at once.

”Sorry,” The duo said apologetically knowing how worried Hakyeon can get when it comes to s.

”Hehe, it’s been awhile since we’ve heard Hakyeon-hyung sound like a mother,” Jaehwan chuckled on the side.

”Well, if you guys take care of yourself more, than I wouldn’t have to nag,” Hakyeon pouted.

Dinner was normal, just like how it usually would when the six of them ate together. Nothing seems to be out of the ordinary and Wonshik almost forgot about his concerns regarding the oldest.

Until that night, while Wonshik got out of his late shower, he heard whimpering coming from Hakyeon’s room.

He peeked inside the bedroom out of worry and saw the bed lamp still . The older was asleep but he had to make sure that there was some sort of light source. After all, Hakyeon was afraid of the dark.

Worried, Wonshik approached Hakyeon in caution and to his surprise, Hakyeon was crying in his sleep. 

“Hyung,” Wonshik felt his heart breaking as he saw the tears overflowing from the okder’s eyes. 

Hakyeon cried in pain and whimpered in his sleep. Wonshik felt helpless as he watched and he couldn’t bear it any longer.

”Hyung, are you okay? Wake up,” Wonshik shook the older.

Slowly, Hakyeon opened his eyes.

”Wonshik?” He squinted a bit to regain his vision. “What are you doing here?”

”You were crying. Did you have a nightmare?” the younger asked.

”Crying?” Hakyeon asked back in confusion to realize that his cheeks were still moist from his own tears. “I’m alright. I don’t remember much about what I dreamt just now.”

”You sure?”

Hakyeon nodded. “Sorry to worry you.”

”No, it’s okay. But hyung,” Wonshik bit his lips anxiously,” Hyogi said you’ve been having breakdowns lately. Are you sure you’re okay?”

”I... I’m alright,” Hakyeon tried to smile to reassure the younger but it was weak. “I’ll be fine again once the musical is over.” 

“Hyung...”

Wonshik knows how kind Hakyeon is and how the older always tries to put up a strong front in order to reassure his worried members. But the younger didn’t like how helpless he was when it came to the older, he wanted to help and he’s worried that he has no power to do so.

He held onto Hakyeon’s hands and caressed it gently.

”W-Wonshik-ah?” the older felt rather flustered by Wonshik’s sudden affections.

”Are you afraid of something?” The younger asked.

”Huh?”

”I’ve been wondering for awhile now. That day when we all saw the eclipse together, you mentioned that you were scared of something. What is it? Why are you afraid of the eclipse?”

Hakyeon pondered for a minute to try and recall what happened that day. He couldn’t quite remember what he said to be exact but as he saw the worried face on the younger, he recalled the feelings he felt that day as he saw the strange phenomenon.

”I was scared. I remember saying that,” Hakyeon admitted.

”Of the dark?” Wonshik asked.

”No. I’m afraid of the light after the dark. I was afraid that when the light hits again, that none of you would be by my side anymore. As I saw the eclipse, I thought about how strange it looked and how something like that could happen. The world was suddenly covered in darkness that I was scared for a second but I was more afraid that when the light appears again, that all of you would just become a fantasy. I’m afraid that everything up until now was all just a dream and that I would eventually have to wake up to it. And when I wake up, none of you would be there anymore,” Hakyeon said as he felt like crying this time.

”Hyung...” Wonshik wiped the older’s tears away,” we’re real. See?”

Wonshik places his hands warmly and gently on Hakyeon’s cheeks, proving to the older that’s he was real. 

“That’s what I’m afraid of. You’re all so warm and kind to me at times that I’m afraid of losing your warmth. I’m afraid about a lot of things in the world but what I’m most afraid of, is losing any one of you.”