"Matt and S"

~ Final ~

"Those horribly vivid memories eventually came back. Eugene, who Matt thought was responsible for killing his beloved Joanne was not the killer. It was neither Eugene or the monsters inside of Matt but Matt himself who killed his sister. Matt didn't know how to handle the truth there were hidden within his memories and every night he became tormented by nights as he laid there in the cold concrete prison cell.

His story was shared throughout London and while some gave him sympathy, others called him a monster.

Am I really a monster? I killed Joanne after all... then I must be one, Matt convinced himself.

"Matt," Eugene called out his name as the man came to visit the lost boy. "Aren't you cold? Do you need me to bring you a blanket?"

Eugene looked at Matt with concern, worried about Matt and could not stand to see the young man look so fragile. No one would have thought that the true killer behind Joanne's death was her own younger brother. Matt who found out about Joanne's true feelings could not comprehend why he was working so hard to please her. Eventually, he couldn't accept being thrown aside by her and being called a 'mere toy' for her own entertainment.

"It's not your fault, Matt," Eugene continued to care for Matt despite the fact that not only was he accused by the younger man but almost killed by the monsters within Matt. He has always been worried about what happened to Matt since he heard about Joanne's mysterious death 10 years ago but he never would have imagined that the one who drove Matt into madness was Joanne as well. He knew about Matt's dissociative identity disorder as he has met 'Jimmy' once before but even Eugene didn't think that a single interview would lead him to reunite with Jimmy and meeting Woody, Anne and No Name.

"You're suffering, I know you are Matt so please, let me take care of you," Eugene continued to try his persuasions but no one, especially not Eugene, could wake Matt up from his despair.

Matt has become an empty shell, not knowing exactly who he is any more or how to accept what he has become. He doesn't even know how to respond to his own name without questioning whether or not he really is 'Matt'.

Who am I? Somebody tell me who I am... please...

Matt was sent into regular counseling sessions as he served the rest of his sentencing. Due to his psychological disorder, his sentences were not long but the consultation has been proven to be ineffective. No one knew how to really treat Matt's strange disorder even though they knew about such a thing. No one was experienced enough to approach the problem and some were even afraid of being in the same room as Matt. Matt continued to stare out into the starry nights as he waited for the day when death could take him away.

The sound of footsteps approached him one day. Is it Eugene again? Matt grunted and didn't care to look back at who those footsteps belonged to as they stopped in front of his cell.

"Matt," a man's voice called his name. It wasn't Eugene but it was definitely a voice he could faintly recall.

Matt turned around in curiosity to see a man, with a face so familiar that he suddenly remembered a promise he made a year ago yet forgot to keep.

"S...," Matt finally recalled that name. His lips trembled and his body became weak as he murmured the name repeatedly. "How?"

"I came to pick you up," S said with a sad smile from his reunion with Matt. "I missed you. You never came back."

"I-I'm sorry."

"Let's go home," S said. "You promised me that you would come back to me."

Matt looked at S for a second, desperate yet hesitant as he thought about his response, "I can't... I can't go back with you."

"Why not?"

"Don't you see? I'm just a monster now... I can't go back with you."

"Monster? Where? I don't see one. All I see in front of me right now is someone who needs me. Someone who I really want to protect and keep by my side," S said as he reached his hands between the steel bars, hoping Matt would take them and return to him.

Matt's hands twitched, he wanted to reach for then but in his mind, he was still doubtful.

"No," Matt shook his head. "I can't. I really can't. I'll end up hurting you just like how I ended up killing Joanne."

"No, you won't. I know you won't."

"How can you be so sure? You don't even know me for that long."

"You're right. The time we spent together was only for a mere few months but time doesn't get to decide whether I love you or not."

"Lo-..."

Matt found it difficult to believe in those beautiful words. He was skeptical about everything and he shook his head in disbelief.

"You're lying," Matt accused him. "No one can love a monster like me."

"Of course I can. What were their names again? Jimmy? Woody? Anee or was it No Name? No matter who they are, who you are, I'll accept every single one of you and love each one of you with all my heart because in the end, they're still you. I'll play and compose music dedicated to each one of you because no matter what your name is, I'll love you unconditionally," S said with unwavering confidence in his expression.

"How can you love them when you've never even met them?"

"Then let me meet them. Let me get to know them. Allow me to know more about you," S said. "I want to know everything about you just like how you stayed with me to listen to my story."

S's words were sweet and convincing but frightening all at once. Matt have never first this loved before by anyone and the one person whom he thought loved him ended up betraying him and throwing him away. It'd be wonderful if S's words were the truth but what if they were lies? Lies to expose Matt's monstrous identity once again to the world? They were words that Matt was terrified of.

"Leave," Matt said as he hid his expression with a cold gaze.

"I can't do that," S persisted.

"I said leave!!"

A full year of imprisonment and Matt was eventually released but his disorder was never 'cured'. There was no cure at least not with the medical technology at the time. But during that entire year, S continued to visit Matt without a day of rest. There would be days when S would talk a lot about his past to Matt, and there were also days when S would just be there to see Matt without a word. It was confusing to Matt during those times and as much as he told S to leave him alone, S was stubborn and persistent.

Matt retrieved his clothing from the prison guards and got changed. As he stepped out of the prison and passed by the guards, there was a slight pause in wanting to walk a step further outside into the world again. Though he was confined in such a small place for a year, he felt safe in a way where no one could see him or the world didn't know about him at all. But he had no choice but to leave and walk back into the world that scared him the most.

He took his first step out of the gates, a rush of anxiety hit him that his legs were going to give way until someone grabbed his arms and pulled him back up. Matt turned around and looked up at who it was.

It was none other than S.

"Stop," Matt said and flung S's hands away as he gathered his balance once more. "Why are you here?"

"To bring you home of course," S said with a smile.

"Didn't I tell you to leave me alone? Why are you like this? Why!?" Matt was so irritated that he almost felt like bursting into tears.

"It's not like you have anywhere to go, right?"

"... That's none of your business."

"Come home with me already."

Matt fought back without another word. It's true that he had nowhere to return to but he knew that following S meant that he'd be going back to the past. He couldn't allow that, at least when he still believes that the monsters within him have yet to subside.

Matt tried to walk away but as soon as he did, S grabbed his arms and flung Matt above his shoulders.

"W-what the hell are you doing? Let me down!" Matt tried to struggle free from S's strong grasp.

S didn't say a word and eventually dropped Matt into his carriage and shoved him inside.

"Take us home," S said to the carriage driver at the front.

"What are you doing?!" Matt grew impatient with S's nonsensical actions and tried to reach for the doors to escape on the moving carriage.

S grabbed Matt's wrist and pulled him back inside. He grabbed onto Matt tightly and eventually forced a deep kiss onto Matt. Astonished by S's actions, Matt tried to fight back but as the kiss grew deeper, his broken heart started to remember the short days he spent with S. All the memories in which he tried to bury away suddenly came rushing back to him and his heart started to waver once more. The pain he has been living with for the entire year in the prison was suddenly replaced by the memories he made with S. Though their time living together was short, Matt could not forget the beautiful melody that danced around S's small apartment. After all, every note he heard those days were precious to him.

"I missed you," S said in a whispering tone as he gently parted his lips from Matt. "Please, come back to me."

Those sweet words coming from those sincere and gentle lips and the touch of S's warm body pressing against his, Matt couldn't stop his tears. In truth, he really did wish for someone to save him. In fact, he really did miss S.

"Why me..." Matt cried in S's arms like a child.

"You and I are both so broken but when I'm with you, a part of me feels like I'm becoming whole again. Even though our emotions are scattered all over the place, even if our wounds are so deeply engraved with us, I feel that as long as we're together, we can finally fix what we're missing. I'm nothing with you, Matt. I know you feel the same way as I do. Do you notice the eyes you've been gazing with me at? They're like a child, screaming in desperation for someone to take them away. If so, why won't you come to me and let me save you from your nightmares?"

"I can't... I'll only end up hurting you or worse, killing you as I did with Joanne," Matt feared as he didn't want to imagine the day he wakes up from his slumber to see himself strangling S to death.

"You won't. I know you won't," S wiped away Matt's tears as they flowed down those flourishing cheeks.

"How can you be so sure?"

"I just know it. You won't hurt me and even if you do lose yourself in the darkness, I'll always be the one to bring you back out."

Such words were hard to believe yet those were the words Matt wish were the truth.

Can I really believe that? Believe in those warm and melodic words? Matt asked himself as he looked into S's eyes, searching for the truth. But S looked straight back at him without wavering or trembling, those eyes were so genuine that Matt found it impossible to refuse.

"Matt?" S called his name in a sweet tone.

"Can I really love you?" Matt asked.

"What do you think?"

Matt looked at S once more, there were no words needed this time. He believes in S. Even if the entire world decides to turn their back on Matt, Matt knows that S would never let him be alone again.

Finally, someone was there to save him. 

A/N

Really hoped that this two part one shot was full of emotions as much as I poured my eyes out watching both musicals. I hope that they will continue performing this musical even in the far future because the messages within both musical was so strong and meaningful yet sad all at once. Truly underrated masterpieces.