“0630”

 

 

The last year of his twenties.

There’s a bitter feeling left inside as Hakyeon thought about it. Whenever he thinks about how time has flown by so quickly, he couldn’t help but worry about the distance growing between him and those around him.

When he reached his twenties and met s for the first time as trainees, he felt disconnected with s because of the . But at the time, he still felt alright knowing that he’s still ‘young’ enough to talk about the many things with the others like an older brother.

Hakyeon used to look forward to being an adult just like anyone else would, but when the number of people around him grew, he started to realize how much he wish he could go back in time just for a few years. Especially when it came to Hyuk, Hakyeon never really knew what to talk about with the maknae. They’re five years apart and although it may not seem like a huge to some, for Hakyeon, the gap was very obvious. There were times when Hakyeon didn’t know what Hyuk was talking about. Then whenever Hakyeon talked about something from when he was young, Hyuk wouldn’t understand it either. He never thought that the differences between those five years could be so disheartening.

Hakyeon woke up in the morning like always, June 29th… just one more day, no, less than that... Hakyeon let out a deep sigh and didn’t want to wake up anymore. The day before his birthday was a depressing day for him. He no longer looks forward to his birthday because he was tired of growing up. It wasn’t just physically tiring for him but also mentally. Hakyeon dragged himself out from the bed unwillingly and went to the bathroom before the rest of the members woke up. He looked into the fridge to look for breakfast, but he didn’t really feel like eating anything grand for breakfast despite being his birthday soon.

He let out another heavy sigh and just munched on his cereal slowly enough that the cereal became soggy.

None of the members seem to be waking up even though it was way past ten and Hakyeon didn’t feel like going to each of their rooms either to wake them up. So, he retreated to his bedroom and started to scroll around the fancafe to read the early birthday wishes from his fans, hoping that he would cheer up a little from reading the supportive messages.

There were a lot of heartfelt messages and he was happy that everyone was so supportive.

I wonder if they’ll continue sending me these messages even when I’m nearing my forties or something… the gloomy thought looked over Hakyeon as he thought about next year where he had to go enlist in the army. He knew that it’s a priority that he’s has to do but he’s going to be lonely and away from those he loves the most. Even though Taekwoon will be enlisting at the same time, there was no guarantee that they’d be together in the same division either.

“Ugh,” Hakyeon grunted as he slammed his head on the keyboard.

Hakyeon couldn’t help but experience the pre-birthday blues.

Just as it was nearing noon, he heard the door next to his room click open. Hongbin finally woke up. Hakyeon came out of his room and peeled out of his door to see Hongbin heading for the bathroom.

“Morning Kong-ah,” Hakyeon said with a slight smile.

“Morning hyung,” Hongbin replied weakly as he was wiping his sleepy eyes. “When did you wake up?”

“A few hours ago. Do you want me to make you something to eat?” Hakyeon offered since he had nothing to do anyways.

“Can you?”

“Mhmm.”

“Thanks, hyung.”

Unlike his dull tasteless breakfast this morning, Hakyeon made an omelette, a few slices of toast and many things for the younger’s breakfast. And as he was preparing breakfast, the rest of the members woke up one by one. So, Hakyeon decided to make everyone’s food in the end.

“What about you, hyung?” Jaehwan asked as he finished washing up and sat at his seat.

“I ate already, don’t worry about me and eat up,” Hakyeon said.

He watched the members gather around the dining table to eat breakfast and although he wasn’t eating like the rest of them, he was content just watching the members eat their breakfast peacefully.

I wonder how much longer we’ll have together like this… I mean, we’re going to have to separate sooner or later, right? Will we all be the same after I come back from the military? What will they do without me for those two years? They’re going to be happy that I won’t pester them anymore, right?

Such a depressing thought..., even he knew it very well that it was futile to over think about the things that might not happen, but he couldn’t help it.

Whenever he thought about his birthday, there was a mix of feelings for this day. After all, he was born at the end of the month that marked the middle of the year. It meant that half of the year have already gone by and all there was left was the other half… soon, he’ll have to truly say goodbye to his twenties.

“Hakyeon-ah, you okay?” Taekwoon noticed the leader staring into space.

“Huh? Uh yeah. Sorry, were you talking to me?” Hakyeon was confused.

“Well, no but you just look … tired. What time did you sleep last night?”

“Ten, maybe? I don’t really remember.”

“Are you sure you’re okay? Maybe you didn’t get enough sleep. You can go take a nap or something,” Taekwoon suggested kindly.

“I’m alright. I’ll just go wash my face a little and freshen up,” Hakyeon smiled at his lifelong friend and got up from his seat. “Take your time eating guys.”

Hakyeon went to the bathroom to wash his face a second time that morning. He kept thinking about the many things that he shouldn’t be worrying g about.

Taekwoon has gotten a lot nicer recently… before he would never notice these little things especially about me… Although Hakyeon and Taekwoon are the same age, Hakyeon still felt responsible for seeing Taekwoon grow. The two of them are worlds apart in their interest and though they are the same age, they didn’t have much to talk about.

Aside from Taekwoon, all the members of VIXX were different from another. Even fans often joked around whenever the members went to the airport together because the six of them wore clothes that were very different from one another, it seemed as if they were members of six different groups.

When the group first debut, even the foods they liked were different. Hakyeon especially, didn’t eat a lot of the foods the younger members ate and when he was younger, he was a lot more persistent in being able to eat what he wanted. There were times where he’d used his powers as the oldest to control the menu. Thinking about it now, Hakyeon knew that it was immature of him and it was no wonder that the members often complained about him. As Hakyeon got older, he wanted to become closer to the members, he adjusted his taste and eating things he honestly didn’t really enjoy eating but as long as it made everyone happy, it didn’t matter to him anymore what his taste was.

Once I go to the military, they won’t have to worry about me anymore. They’ll be free to do whatever they want, Hakyeon thought as he looked at himself in the mirror.

After washing up, the members all got dressed one by one.

“Are you guys going somewhere?” Hakyeon asked.

“I have to meet up with Gongchan for a movie, want to come, hyung?” Hongbin asked out of kindness.

“Um, it’s okay. You two have fun,” Hakyeon replied. I’ll only get in the way anyways.

“Then do you want to come to the studios? You mentioned wanting to see Eongdongie, didn’t you?” Wonshik also asked.

“Yeah, come with us,” Jaehwan said.

“You’re going to the studios too?” Hakyeon asked.

“Mhmm. Let’s go and play together,” Jaehwan pulled Hakyeon’s arm happily and suggested.

“It’s okay. You two go ahead,” he replied.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it. Go on.”

Hakyeon pushes Jaehwan and Wonshik gently out the door and sent them off.

“Hakyeon-ah, then do you want to go to the gym with me? You mentioned that you wanted to try boxing the other day, didn’t you?” Taekwoon appeared from behind. “It’s rare to have a day-off once in awhile, so let’s go.”

“No, I’ve never done it before. I’ll just get in the way,” Hakyeon said.

“Why would you think that? I can teach you? Even Kong has been doing it lately,” Taekwoon insisted.

“My hips still haven’t really healed from last time, so I’ll have to pass but thanks Taekwoonie,” Hakyeon smiled as he saw his friend out as well.

“Hyung,” the youngest came out from his room, also fully geared up to go out. “You really shouldn’t trap yourself at home so much. Go out once in awhile. It’s nice outside today.”

“Thanks for worrying about it. I don't know what to do without you, Hyogi, but I’m going to have to pass on that suggestion. I’m just tired. I guess I’m getting old after all,” Hakyeon laughs awkwardly.

“You’re not actually that old, hyung. Stop saying that,” Hyuk looked at Hakyeon in disapproval. “Anyways, I need to meet up with a friend, but if you need anything, call me okay?”

“Mhmm. Thanks, Hyuk-ah.”

As the door closed again for the final time, Hakyeon stood there in front of the door in a daze. s all left one by one, so he decided to occupy the living room all to himself. He the TV for some background noise, cleaned up a bit and then started to stare at the minutes going by.

It wasn’t as if Hakyeon truly liked staying at home all the time or not wanting to go out with s, but home simply felt safer. Hakyeon stayed at home a lot, which in turn, the members ended up teasing him about it. They joked a lot about Hakyeon always staying home and never going out, but to be honest, there was something that made Hakyeon not want to go out from home.

2 years? 5 years? It won’t be long until the day we all have to live apart… so for now, I want to engrave the memories in my mind as deeply as possible.

Hakyeon fell asleep on the sofa after tiring himself out from cleaning. He drifted into sleep as he recalled the many precious memories he made with s. Those memories were countless and though s gave him the hardest of times, they also gave him times to cherish.

 

 

“Hyung. Hakyeon-hyung,” Jaehwan shook Hakyeon awake.

“Jaehwan?”

“You’ll catch a cold if you sleep here,” the younger said.

“Sorry, I must’ve fallen asleep. What time is it?”

“It’s 11 already. Did you have dinner yet? What time did you fall asleep?”

“I don’t know. I was just cleaning up. I guess I fell asleep after that,” Hakyeon yawned. “Where’s Wonshik? Did he not come back with you?”

“He went to the convenient store to get something.”

“I see. Did you have fun with Eongdongie? He’s really big now, isn’t he?”

“Yup! I’ll show you some pictures!”

Jaehwan sat down happily next to Hakyeon without any distance between them. The younger dug his phone out and started to scroll through the pictures of Wonshik’s French pup to show the oldest.

“Isn’t he so cute?” Jaehwan asked happily.

“Yeah, just like you,” Hakyeon joked and patted the younger’s head.

Jaehwan was always the only one who accepted Hakyeon’s endless affections without complains. There were times when Jaehwan would joke around it on stage or in front of the camera for laughs but he would immediately run back to the leader and gave the leader a hug anyways, as if to reassure Hakyeon that he didn’t truly mean it. It was no wonder that Hakyeon never felt any distance between the two of them. It was because Jaehwan would also be there to energize the leader who easily gets tired.

As the two were looking through the phone, the door opened, and chattering came through the hallway. Hongbin and Hyuk were both back at the same time.

“Looks like you two are having fun. What are you looking at?” Hongbin asked as he scooted to the other side of Hakyeon and looked at the pictures too.

Hyuk also joined them and hovered over the videos Jaehwan took of Eongdongie.

“He was so heavy the other day when I went to Wonshik-hyung’s studios,” Hyuk commented. “What’s hyung feeding him?”

“Probably giving all the good food to Eongdongie instead of himself! He’s like nothing but muscles now and too skinny if you ask me,” Hongbin assumed.

“I bet,” Jaehwan nodded in agreement.

“Hey guys, you’re all back already?” Taekwoon came in momentarily after the two younger ones. “Did you guys have dinner already?”

“Of course!” Hongbin and Hyuk both said at the same time.

“Gongchan brought me to this really good BBQ place today. We should go together next time,” Hongbin suggested.

“Oh! Do they have gopchang and stuff?” Hyuk’s eyes gleamed with the possibility.

“They’ve got everything.”

“Wonshik ordered delivery to his studios earlier so I ate already too,” Jaehwan said.

“What about you, Hakyeon-ah,” Taekwoon noticed Hakyeon being awfully quiet.

“Hyung just woke up from his nap. He didn’t eat yet,” Jaehwan answered for the leader.

Hakyeon was about to say he was fine.

“I went out with my boxing teacher earlier and got some leftovers. I’ll reheat them for you,” Taekwoon said.

“Huh? No, it’s okay,” Hakyeon didn’t want to trouble his friend.

“You’re not on that stupid diet again, are you?” Hongbin asked. “Wonshik is stupid skinny enough, we don’t need you to be the same.”

“No, no, that’s not it. I’m not on a diet. I’m just not that hungry,” Hakyeon tried to explain.

“But you should eat at least a little. Come here,” Taekwoon pulled the leader up from the sofa and got him to sit down at the dining room. “Wait here.”

“I really shouldn’t eat so late at night. I’ll be bloated the next morning,” Hakyeon said.

“That’s okay hyung, you’re cuter when you’re more round anyways,” Jaehwan chuckled.

“You guys made fun of me for being a circle last year. Did you already forget?” Hakyeon reminded him.

“We didn’t mean it though,” Hyuk said.

“Really?” Hakyeon sounded like he didn’t believe it.

“What do you mean really? Of course, we didn’t mean it,” Hongbin told him. “Whether your round or not doesn’t change the fact that you’re still our hyung.”

“I agree,” Taekwoon got the food out from the microwave and served the food on the plate for Hakyeon.

“T-thanks, I guess?” Hakyeon didn’t know what to say.

“Where’s Wonshik by the way,” Taekwoon noticed the missing member.

“He’ll be back soon,” Jaehwan said.

“He better hurry up before it’s too late.”

“I’m sure he’s fine. It’s late anyways so it’s more important that he comes back safely,” Hakyeon said.

“But it’s going to be past midnight soon,” Taekwoon told him.

“Hmm? What do y- “

“I’m back! Sorry for the wait! They didn’t have the candles at the convenient store down the street, so I had to go to the other one,” Wonshik came running in, covered in sweat and completely out of breath. “Did I make it?”

“Barely. Come on,” Jaehwan scolded.

“Candles? What are you doing with candles?” Hakyeon was confused at the rapper’s hectic appearance.

“What do you mean what are we doing with the candles? We need them for the cake of course,” Hyuk answered.

“Cake?”

“Don’t tell me you don’t remember your own birthday already, did you?” Hongbin looked at Hakyeon in worry.

“Huh? No, I didn’t, but you guys remember?”

“Of course, we remember! What are you talking about?”

Beep. Beep. Beep.

“Uwah! Hurry!” Jaehwan rushed Taekwoon to get a cake from the bottom layer of the fridge.

“Coming!” Taekwoon hurried and placed the cake on the table while Wonshik placed the candles on top immediately.

12 o’clock midnight finally strikes.

The five members stood around Hakyeon.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” they all shouted at the same time.

Party poppers went off, candles were fully lit, and the members suddenly sang the birthday song for Hakyeon.

Hakyeon stood there dumbfounded at the situation for a moment as he tried to understand what was happening around him. Everything happened so quickly in a blink of an eye that he didn’t know how to react. But as he heard s’ singing voices and happy laughters, he couldn’t help but be moved.

Suddenly, without a single word uttered, his tears began to fall. Not because of the birthday blues, the distant memories or the loneliness he’s been feeling all day but because of the warmth s gave him.

Why did I doubt that they would be any different? They thought about me after all…

“T-thanks guys,” Hakyeon finally said.

“Uwah, what are you suddenly crying for?” Hongbin panicked at the leader’s tears.

“Tissue! Tissue! Tissue!” Jaehwan ran around the room frantically to find tissue for the older to wipe his tears away.

“Hyung is being a crybaby again,” Hyuk teased Hakyeon a little but rubbed the older’s back to calm him down.

“What's wrong, Hakyeon-ah. Are you sure you're okay? “Taekwoon was worried about Hakyeon’s sudden tears.

“I bet Wonshik made Hakyeon-hyung cry again, “Jaehwan joked.

“What?! What did I do?” Wonshik panicked and hugged Hakyeon suddenly to comfort the older. “Hyung, don't cry. Are you okay?”

Hakyeon simply nodded and moved by s’ endless worries for him.

One by one, they hugged him to comfort his tears and because of that, the little blues he felt disappeared completely.

“Thank you for the present,” Hakyeon said as he hugged s back one by one.

“No, we should thank you for putting up with us all, “Taekwoon said.

“Yeah!” Jaehwan nodded his head in full agreement. “I'm so glad we made it before twelve though. I almost choked thinking I couldn't make it back on time.”

“Same! Traffic was horrible while coming back, “Hongbin said.

“Mhmm,” Hyuk agreed as well. “Anyways, happy birthday Hakyeon-hyung. Let's all be together for a long time and celebrate our birthdays for a lifetime!”

A lifetime…

Hakyeon finally cracked a smile, “I like the sound of that.”

 

 

A/N: HAPPY N DAY!

I wanted to write something for Hakyeon's birthday but at the same time I was feeling a little blue. However, I love this day a lot and on top of that, Hakyeon released the dance performance video he did for 'Fate' on his birthday as a present back to us!! I can't believe this angel. I cried really hard after watching it... I hope this angel gets all he wants in this world because he deserves only the best.