"The Last Kiss"

(Act II)

A/N: Angst warning and attempt ... Don't hate me TTvTT

Everything really felt like it went back to normal. Taekwoon and Hakyeon would have small talks within the dorms whenever they bump into each other. Their conversations went from simple greetings to at least asking each other what their plans were for the upcoming weekends. That seemed sufficient enough for them at first. But as time went by, Taekwoon couldn’t help but feel a bit greedier.

Just simple conversations weren’t enough anymore. He craved for more than just something so simple and easily forgotten. 

One morning, Taekwoon found Hakyeon lying on the sofa and watching a Japanese drama of some sort. 

“Morning,” Taekwoon said it first.

”Morning, you’re up early,” Hakyeon smiles gently at the vocalist.

”Same goes for you.”

”I got woken up by Hongbin and Hyuk this morning since they were going to go shopping today with Jaehwan.”

”So they’re all out?” Taekwoon looked around and noticed the obvious silence in the dorms.

”Mhmm.”

Taekwoon saw the seats next to Hakyeon finally empty and free for once. Usually it’s occupied by Jaehwan on the left and Hongbin on the right. Even when they’re standing together as a group, Taekwoon would never get to stand next to his lifelong friend.

”What are you watching?” Taekwoon asked as he tried his best to casually take a seat next to Hakyeon. 

“Just random drama that was on. I actually have no idea what it’s about... heh,” Hakyeon laughed as he continued to pay attention to the screen.

”You’re always watching Japanese dramas nowadays. Still studying?” 

“Yeah but it’s so hard. You guys should do the same too. I can’t always be the translator in between whenever we go to Japan. What would you guys do if one day I’m not there with you all?” Hakyeon asked.

”W-what do you mean?” Taekwoon began to fear the possibility.

A day without Hakyeon by their side... 

“I don’t know? I’m just saying. It’s already the sixth year since we’ve debut and it’s been more than eight years since I’ve known you guys. I don the want to think about it but there will definitely be a time where we can’t be one another anymore...”

Taekwoon felt as if his heart was breaking apart slowly. He laid his head on Hakyeon’s lap and catching the leader by surprise.

”T-Taekwoon-ah?” Hakyeon jolted.

”Then dont think about it...” Taekwoon closed his eyes and laid silently on Hakyeon’s lap without a budge.

Let’s not think about it... That’s something he wanted to tell himself instead. 

He closed his eyes as he slowly felt like he was breaking apart, the tears fell but he kept those tears inside without Hakyeon noticing. 

The times he wished he could be with Hakyeon more started to increase. He grew to desire the older’s attention more and more which even caught the younger members by surprise. Whenever Hakyeon went, Taekwoon would follow like a lost puppy and having no where to go.

The older vocalist was afraid that if he let Hakyeon out of his sight even for a minute, he really would lose everything. Yet he didn’t say how in pain he was as he watched Hakyeon’s back whenever the older went. 

He never thought that reality could be so painful that he was dying inside little by little...

“It is better to die all at once than to die a little every day.” 

Once more, those words came to mind.

Is it really better to die all at once than to suffer little by little? Taekwoon couldn’t help help but wonder. 

~

”Taekwoonie?” Hakyeon finally called out one day. 

“Hmm?” 

“You should um... stop following me around. Don’t you have schedules?” 

“I don’t,” Taekwoon simply replied.

”But don’t you want to hang out with the other members? Jaehwan even asked you the other day if you wanted to go out for dinner.”

”I always go eat with them. It’s fine. I want to be with you more.”

”...”

Hakyeon didn’t expect this type of response from Taekwoon at all. It was too unexpected especially coming from someone like Taekwoon.

”Do you hate me?” Taekwoon suddenly asked.

”What? Why would I-“ Hakyeon panicked.

”Then it’s fine. Let me follow you until the end,” Taekwoon interrupted the older and everything went silent. 

The ‘end’.

Hakyeon became afraid of those words especially when it was coming from his timid friend. He didn’t know what else to say to Taekwoon and why the latter would suddenly say something so ... terrifying. 

Finally one weekend came and Taekwoon has no choice but to attend to his musical schedules that Hakyeon finally had time away from his friend. It’s not like he hated Taekwoon following him around but it was awkward and a bit uncomfortable because he wasn’t used to it. Hakyeon felt strange because their roles reversed but Taekwoon’s clinginess was different from Hakyeon’s over-friendly attachment. Taekwoon would quietly follow behind without a word or asking for more. 

Hakyeon let out a huge sigh as he cleaned up the dormant while the members were away. As he reached Taekwoon’s individual room, he didn’t know why but it was hard for him to set foot pass the doorway. He felt as if there were weights at his ankle and preventing him from approaching. 

I shouldn’t have made him ask whether I hate him or not... what will I do if he reverts back to his quiet self again? Hakyeon wish he could take back all the things he’s said to Taekwoon and just accept his friend for who Taekwoon is. 

Hakyeon took a deep breath and went inside Taekwoon’s room in order to start cleaning the place which he hopefully could some how make it up to Taekwoon by doing so. 

Taekwoon’s room was a mess as always though. There was no surprise and despite the amounts of space Taekwoon actually had in his room, the vocalist would always complain that he didn’t have space as an excuse to not clean up.

It took a long time for Hakyeon to clean up half of the mess in the room. He wasn’t breaking out in sweat from all the reorganizing he had to do in that single room. 

“How can he move around now here?” he couldn’t not help but question. 

Just then, he found Taekwoon’s musical script lying underneath the bed. Usually, the only thing that was kept in place would be Taekwoon’s precious musical scripts yet this single one was neglected underneath the pile of mess in the room. 

Hakyeon picked it up and it was the script for 'The Last Kiss', Taekwoon’s current musical. Why’s it lying around like this?

The scripts had multiples tabs stuck to each page and notes written all over the pages. Just by flipping through a few pages, Hakyeon could tell how diligent Taekwoon was when he was studying his script. The older’s couldn’t help but feel a bit proud knowing how hardworking Taekwoon was, but then again, Hakyeon always knew how hardworking the younger was. There were no doubts about it. 

But he noticed something unusual on one of the pages of the script as he looked at the script. There was one line in the script that stood out much more obviously than anything else on the page and it wasn’t because it was highlighted or anything, but it felt as if someone was trying to desperatedly erase those ink printed text from the script. 

“It is better to die all at once than to die a little every day,” Hakyeon read those exact words from the page. 

He remembers those words the other time he went to watch the musical in order to support Taekwoon but he didn’t feel as eerie as he did at this moment. It was unsettling just holding onto the book and reading that phrase over and over again. What has Taekwoon been feeling this entire time as he acted out the musical? 

Hakyeon couldn’t help but hope that Taekwoon wasn’t thinking a bout something ridiculous ... after all a musical performances is only a fantasy, it’s only made-up and not reality. Right?

Creeak. 

Hakyeon looked back immediately and Taekwoon was right behind him. 

"T-taekwoon-ah, you're back?" Hakyeon found himself stuttering as if he was caught doing something he shouldn't. He unconsciously hid the script behind his back in reflex.

"What are you doing in here?" Taekwoon asked back.

"I'm just cleaning your room. It's a mess," Hakyeon tried to explain.

"It's fine. You don't need to clean anything. It'll just be go back to how it was eventually." 

"I-I see. Well, I'll just leave it at that and leave you alone then," Hakyeon said and tried to make his escape but Taekwoon caught him in time.

Taekwoon grabbed Hakyeon's wrist so tightly that the older dropped the script onto the floor. Taekwoon bent down to pick it up and he recognized that it was his right away.

"What were you doing with this?" Taekwoon interrogated.

"Uh, nothing. I was just taking a peek," Hakyeon didn't know why but he was scared of the latter. "S-sorry."

"..."

Taekwoon stared at Hakyeon for a minute without a word, causing the atmosphere to grow intense and heavy. Hakyeon found himself having a hard time to grasp for air just standing there and waiting for Taekwoon to talk. 

Is he mad at me? Hakyeon swallowed hard at the unsettling atmosphere. 

"Did you read the script?" Taekwoon asked the older.

"N-no, I only flipped the pages."

"Oh?" 

Taekwoon pulled Hakyeon into his room and closed the doors.

Click.

He made sure he locked it as he threw Hakyeon onto his bed.

"T-Taekwoon-ah?" Hakyeon was scared.

Taekwoon only looked at Hakyeon with an intimidating stare as he pushed the older onto his bed that was still piled up with clothes. 

"You read it didn't you?" Taekwoon said. "Then, you know..."

"K-know what?"

“It is better to die all at once than to die a little every day,” Taekwoon rehearsed those lines right in front of Hakyeon who was pinned down beneathe him.

"W-what about it?" Hakyeon couldn't settle down the anxiety and the fear he felt at the same time.

"It's all your fault."

"What?"

"It's all your fault that I've become like this. No matter how hard I try to forget it, it's impossible after all."

Taekwoon bent down forward and kissed Hakyeon by force. 

"W-what are y-" Hakyeon began to struggle.

Taekwoon didn't hear a word, as he pretended he couldn't. He continued to forcefully kiss Hakyeon despite the leader struggling underneathe. 

"St-" Hakyeon felt as if he was beginning to beg. 

Taekwoon's grasp was strong and painful. Hakyeon was hurting inside and he tried his best to fight the other off without hurting Taekwoon. Despite what Taekwoon was doing to him, Hakyeon still thought of Taekwoon preciously. Yet, he couldn't help but feeling powerless and... betrayed at the same time.

"It's all your fault," Taekwoon finally let go of his grasp and stopped himself just in time before he hurted Hakyeon even further with his actions. "It's your fault that I'm this way now..."

He began to cry. It should've been Hakyeon to cry at such a situation but Taekwoon was the one who broke down. His tears fell uncontrollably and he felt as if he didn't know what to do to stop himself anymore. He was losing his mind and losing control. 

"I'm sorry," was the last thing he said.

To be continued...

A/N: I don't know why but I'm feeling angsty... sorry if it's not the fluff you usually get from this series.