He could smell her perfume. It was intoxicating. He caressed her cheek and felt over the bumps of her features. He tapped her button nose and grinned. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered.

            She reached up and clutched his hand. “Jongup, stop flattering me.” She chuckled. “I’ll be back at night. Do you think you’ll be okay?”

            He scoffed and held up his hands. “Do you think I’m some sort of an invalid? I’ll be fine. Go. You have work to do. I’ll just stay here; replay some of the CDs, listen and try to see if I could work out any new choreography for their new song.”

            “Go on. I’m stronger than I look.” He smiled at her and even stood up, and twirled a circle just for her. She snorted and blew an audible kiss.

            “Love you.”

            It was only after his sharp ears heard her shut the car door and her pull away that he let the tears slide from his eyes. It was painful to be so useless. If only he could do something with himself, he would make sure that he repaid her. He didn’t want to be her burden.

            Jongup knew he was a cripple, a heavy load for her to carry around. He knew that everyone just wanted him to disappear. He couldn’t even tell her how he feels in case she worried about him. He didn’t want to know that she pitied him. It was bad enough that he could sense her hesitation every time he wanted to do something. He was perfectly capable of taking care of himself. All he needed was a bit more time to adjust.     

            To Jongup, the world was no longer black and white. Quite literally, it was black. It was a darkness that could never replace the vivid images he still carried in his memories. He could hear things clearer now. He could smell hidden scents, his sense of taste had exploded his mouth. He was content. But the one thing that made him hurt the most was that he could no longer see his girlfriend.

            He wanted to see her again. He could still remember her eyes, shaped in that special half-moon, and her single dimple when she smiled. He gave a bitter laugh and wondered how he must look like to her. His eyes were clouded over. He still remembered looking into the mirror and seeing the filmy bits take over his pupils.

            His head had hurt for months. His vision and his movements were getting slower but he still insisted on dancing. It was only when he collapsed one day that the members sent him to the hospital. The doctor told him that he had inherited a disease, causing him to go blind at such a young age.

            Jongup brushed against something soft. It meowed. It was only the cat. He sighed. Even the cat could see her better than he can. He punched the table, wanting some way to release his anger. At first, before his vision went, he tried his best to revive it.

            He listened to all the old wives’ tales. He went to large meadows, and looked at wide sprawling greens. He ate carrots, ate disgusting berries, anything to help. He performed eye exercises but everything became blurrier.

            When he finally woke up and realized he simply could not see, Jongup had tried to be strong. She remained by his side and supported him. She made sure that he had everything. And Jongup went to therapy. She gave up work for a while to take care of him. It had hurt his pride. Which man would allow a woman to sacrifice so much? But she had for being an old-fashioned, ist sap.

            The members kept him. Jongup could no longer dance, but he was given lines. The doctor said he could plan out choreography, and for the first time, Jongup was able to have full control over their dances. He wanted to be able to see how they did but he had enough control of his balance to show them some of the moves.

            It was then that he felt truly alive. He felt once more the exquisite power of being able to control his actions, to move fluidly and Jongup smiled. He was happy then. But then one of them would subtly remind him that maybe he should take a break. Sometimes, they would lend a hand and lead him carefully back to his seat. It made him want to scream.

            He knew she tried her hardest to take care of him. He knew all that and yet, Jongup couldn’t voice anything. He couldn’t tell her to not help him. He knew he was useless. He knew he couldn’t move around without her help. As much as it hurt him, he couldn’t tell her to leave him.

Today, was her first day back at work. Today, she would finally get her life back. His senses had heightened. He could function properly now. He had tried to cook and with enough patience, things had worked out. He assured her that he would be okay. All he had to do was move slowly.

            A few hours later, he tapped his fingers against the mattress. She still wasn’t back. There was a shrill ring of the phone and he made his way to the desk. “Hello?”

            “Mr. Moon, do you have someone to take you to the hospital? We found you an eye donor.”

            The news thrilled him beyond all means. He could finally see again. He immediately called Yongguk and his hyung agreed to come pick him up. Jongup wrote a scribbled note and left it on her pillow for when she came back. He patted for his hoodie and got in the car when it came.

            He drove to the hospital and was admitted in. The hours passed. When Jongup finally came to, he was able to see. The lights were hazy because they still had bandages on them. But he saw shadows. Jongup sat up and heard s gather around him. His senses were still sharp.

            “Jongup?” It was Yongguk.

            “Hyung, I have to thank the person who donated this. I feel so blessed.” Then he asked for his girlfriend. “Where is she?”

            There was an awkward silence and finally Yongguk said, “Jongup. Yesterday, she was coming back from work and stopped by to pick some flowers for you. She didn’t even see the car coming. There was a note on her license. It said she wanted to be an organ donor and especially put you in.”

            Jongup’s heart stilled. He shook and clawed at the bandages. Tears pricked down his cheeks. “You can’t cry! There are still medication. You need to relax. Jongup, please. She wouldn’t want you to be anything but strong for her.” Himchan plead with him.

            He grabbed onto the side of his bed and found that all air had been cut off. His thoughts were a mess. He no longer knew if he wanted to live. What was the point of being able to leave if he could no longer see her? If he could no longer see her beauty, if he could no longer see her smile, what was the point?

            He could hear her. She was right by his side, telling him to be strong. He had to stay strong. Himchan was right. She was holding his hand. She was guiding him. She was pointing at something he couldn’t see and his palm. She was whispering the view in his ear. The tears stopped.

            Then it was Yongguk who said something that made him truly breathe again. “You’ll be seeing the world from her eyes now. That’s what she would want.” Jongup nodded and clutched at the mattress. Seeing the world through her eyes. Isn’t that the most beautiful thing in the world? 

Jongup angst requested

I hope you guys enjoy ♥