Got Around Not Any Longer – SISTAR19

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IczYS2pVn-Y

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“Can’t we just forget about the agreement and be together?” Sunggyu asked softly.

MinYoung bit her lip again and slowly shook her head, “As much as I want to, oppa, I just can’t.”

“Why?” he breathed out. “There’s only one question involved to make things simpler: do you love me?”

She shook her head once again, “It’s not that simple as it sounds, oppa.”

“Then, why? Tell me, why,” he said. “Tell me and help me understand. Please, I’ll listen.”

“Because this is how I feel,” she answered immediately. “Every time I tried to ask myself if I love you, I just get scared even more and more.”

“Scared of what?” he asked.

“Of getting hurt again,” she said softly.

“Everyone had a fair chance of getting hurt, MinYoung, even me. But I won’t do that to you, never, because I love you.”

“Really?” she smiled sarcastically. Then she looked away from him and looked towards the view ahead of her, “We’re two different people living two different lives, oppa. So, I’m definitely sure that we also got hurt in a different way.”

Sunggyu silenced. He didn’t want to argue because he knew that she was right. Judging by the way MinYoung spoke, he hints that he’s about to learn something tragic that must have happened to her.

“I shouldn’t be here at Woollim right now, oppa,” she said softly, hugging her and rubbing her arms. “I’m supposed to be getting ready at the theater; rehearsing as the lead character for a play which will be shown on my birthday.”

Sunggyu shifted his feet uncomfortably. This was the first time he heard MinYoung talk with a tone of regret and a tone of longing for something.

“I never really wanted to work here on the first place because there was a different path laid out for me,” she sighed. “But then there’s this one a guy, a guy like you who promised the same things that you’ve just promised right now. He said he’ll love, take care of me, even if the world turned its back on me, he’ll stand by me,” MinYoung chuckled as she remembered how the guy she was referring to told her those things. “He promised he wouldn’t allow anything or anyone to hurt me.”

“And I believed everything he said.”

Suddenly, she looked at him briefly, “Little did I know that he was the one who’ll hurt me and ruin everything for me.”

The cool wind blew as images of the past began to appear in her mind. It’s been a while since she remembered that day; maybe because she was too busy working with INFINITE and that Sunggyu was helping her forget about the past involuntarily. The images made her shiver uncomfortably.

“We were in a meeting with my uncle, Park Chungho, who’s been directing plays since I was in diapers. He was a good friend of appa and after my parents died, he became my foster father. He was the one who brought me to the theater and made the stage my home,” she smiled at the memory of her uncle. “When he gave out our parts, I landed with the lead character. He said that if I did well, after the play, many will be giving me love calls to join a bigger stage.”

“You’re born to be a star,” as what her uncle Chungho would always tell her.

“After getting our respective parts, I don’t know what got into him but he was obviously pissed of getting a minor role,” she stated as her eyebrows pinched together. “He said that if I was going to the top, he might as well come with me. If he goes down, I go down with him.”

MinYoung then had a hard time talking. She swallowed the glob forming in . Tears were shining in the rims of her eyes as she remembered that dreadful day.

“What… what happened?” he spoke, unsure if he should ask her. MinYoung slowly faced him a tear streaked down her cheek.

“I was in the dressing room, alone, and then he barged in. He was furious. He began to tell me that things weren’t going as planned and that I was useless. I was about to run out of the room but then he pulled me and started to harass me,” she whispered.

Sunggyu began to feel the rage building up in his chest. He may have no idea who the guy was but he sure feels like beating the hell out of him. He began to soften when he heard MinYoung sob.

“It was just too painful. I loved him more than anything. But I never thought that he would do such thing to me,” she cried.

Sunggyu instinctively pulled MinYoung in his arms and hugged her tight. Her body began to shake lightly and he had to rub her back to calm her down. MinYoung pulled away and carelessly wiped her tears away with the back of her hands.

“Because of this one incident, everything changed,” she shook her head and continued to cry. “No one knew about this except for my uncle but he can’t have him leave the theater because he has threatened my uncle that he’ll cause more damage if he gets kicked out. So, I decided to leave the theater,” she finished.

“How did you end up getting a job a Woollim?” Sunggyu asked.

“Mr. Lee and uncle Chungho are good friends,” she sniffled. “For three months, I stayed at my apartment and never left for the duration. Uncle asked HaRin to move in with me so that’s why we ended up living together. She’s like uncle’s spy so he knew everything that’s been going on with me for those three months. He doesn’t like seeing me miserable so he asked Mr. Lee to get me in.”

MinYoung sighed, “After that incident, I told myself that I’ll never fall for a guy ever again,” she chuckled at herself. “I closed all doors, built a wall and swore that love is just a four letter word.”

Then she looked directly to his eyes, helplessly. Tears began to form again and MinYoung couldn’t hold it back.

“But here it is again,” she shrugged her shoulders, “a guy stands in front of me, asking me to love him.”

Hearing those words made Sunggyu feel guilty. Surely he didn’t know anything about this and it makes him feel guiltier because he thought he was only thinking of himself. Sunggyu’s eyes began to feel gloomy.

“Believe me, oppa, I want to,” she touched his cheek, “But I’m scared to think that I’ll get hurt again. That this,” she points to her heart, “It might shatter into pieces again.”

“No, don’t say that,” Sunggyu shook his head and pulled her into a hug again. “Don’t think about getting hurt again because you won’t.”

“I’m sorry, oppa,” she apologized. “If only I met you before this happened, when I was still whole, maybe things would’ve been different.”

Sunggyu stubbornly shook his head, “If we met before, we wouldn’t be like this now. We wouldn’t have met in Jeju and I wouldn’t be feeling like this. We wouldn’t be spending much time together and we wouldn’t be together whenever we wished to.”

“I don’t care about what happened before because what I care about most is what I have now; what we have now,” he told her as he caressed her hair. “I promise you, I would never be that guy.”

“I know you wouldn’t, oppa,” she whispered. “But I do need time. Let me find myself so I could be whole again,” she requested.

Sunggyu pulled away. He had a hold of MinYoung’s arm while he tucked the strands of her hair behind her ear, “You can and you will. But you have to stop running away from something that you love; a place where you feel safe.” MinYoung’s body turned rigid.

“I know that the theater is the last place you’d want to be in but at least be there for your friends. They’ve been itching to ask you to come and watch but they just don’t know how they’d do that so they asked us,” he told her. “At first, I was clueless but now I know why they won’t ask themselves. I understand where you’re coming from but your friends need you and you won’t be alone because we’ll be there. I’ll be there.”

MinYoung wiped her cheeks. “He’s right. I’m getting selfish,” she thought to herself.

“If you choose to leave then we’ll leave. We don’t have to finish the entire show,” he said as he held out his pinky finger.

MinYoung thought for a moment. She was aware that Sunggyu’s making a promise and she’s afraid of believing again.

“You don’t trust me?” he asked, one eyebrow raised.

MinYoung bit her lip, “I- Fine,” she said softly. She raised her pinky and linked it on his.

“You’ll be fine, MinYoung-ah. You’ll find yourself once again,” he assured her. MinYoung remained quiet. The revelation exhausted her out and she was out of energy. Sunggyu made sure to support her and held her close to him.

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