22 Days before the debut showcase:

"A small progress has been made in the investigation of the explosion in the forest outside Seoul. The fire department reached to a conclusion that the explosion was caused by an improvised bomb made by amateures. The police are still trying to identify one of the three bodies found in the scene. There is a gag order on the investigation, so we can't elaborate further." The news anchor read his text from the teleprompter. "On a different subject - The korean swimming team has broke a record in the world swimming championship.."

Yongguk turned the television off, annoyed. He didn't need another reminder of that night, he still rememebers it clearly. How he watched as Zico forced Hyeri to do things against her will and he did nothing to stop him, how Hyeri pointed a gun at him and how everything became blurred after that boom. He only remembers Hyeri collapsing in his arms and Zico laughing like a psychopath. His laughter still echoes in his mind, especially when he is alone and there is no one to distract him from his destructive thoughts. He is a failure. His fans idolize him for a hundred different reasons, but at the end he still failed in one of the most important missions he had. He had to protect Hyeri, and he failed. The only reason she is in the hospital right now is because of him.

"Bang.." Himchan entered their room at the dorm, sitting carefully on his bed. He had been walking on eggshells in the last couple of days, trying not to trigger Yongguk.

"What is it?" Yongguk looked at Himchan with tired eyes.

"Did you even sleep?" Himchan asked, worried. He knew Yongguk didn't sleep at night since he went out of the dorm in the evening and came back only in the morning. He could guess where he was, but he couldn't really ask him about it..

"What do you want?" Yongguk asked impatiently, avoiding the question. He don't need Himchan's nagging right now.

"Sey called.. She woke up."

~

I opened my eyes, surprised to see a different room. It was all white, unlike my room at the dorm or the company or any other room I'm familiar with. I looked around the room, finally realizing it's a hospital room.

"Finally.." Sumi sighed. "I get that you don't want to do our schedules and ruin our debut, but did you really have to sleep for that long? You could have just talked to Jinu or something without making everyone worry about you.. But you like the attention, don't you?" She shot. I sighed. I just woke up, I have no idea where am I and what day is it or why am I even here, and this is the first thing I hear? Seriously?

"Shut up." Sey hit Sumi's head. "She just woke up, be polite."

"Sorry." Sumi bowed her head. Is she really apologizing to me? It's not like her.. At all. What is going on over here?

"How are you? Do you feel alright? Does anything hurt?" Sey bombarded me with questions while adjusting the pillow on my bed and my blanket.

"I.. Don't know." I sat up carefully on my bed. My head hurt, and so did the rest of my body.

"Do you want me to get you something?" She asked, worried.

"What happened?" I asked. How did I get here?

"You don't remember?" she asked, surprised. I shook my head. My mind is a mess right now and I can't really put the puzzle pieces together..

"Sumi, go get her water and something to eat. And tell Jinu and the doctors she woke up." Sey ordered, trying to get her out of the room so we can talk privately.

"I don't want to." Sumi argued.

"DO IT!" Sey raised her voice, glaring at the makane.

"Fine, meanie." Sumi gave up and went out of the room. Sey turned to look at me, her gaze softened.

"What do you rememebr?" she asked carefully.

"The hut.. Zico.." I tried to remember.

"It's okay, don't push yourself." she said when she saw me struggling and rubbed my hand reassuringly.

"I heard you woke up." a young doctor entered the room, a clipboard in his hand. Sumi was trailing behind him. I smiled shyly.

"I need to do some checkups on her.." the doctor said to the girls and they went out of the room, leaving me alone with him.

"Does anything hurt?" he asked while examining me.

"Everything." I sighed.

"That's reasonable, you went through a lot." he smiled. "Anything that hurt more?"

"My ribs." I said. He lifted my shirt a little to inspect the area and I could see blue-purple marks decorating my skin.

"Luckily its not broken, you have some strong bones." The doctor smiled after checking it.

"Is that a good thing?" I asked.

"Yes." he smiled. "You are skinny, but you are suprisingly strong. You were lucky."

"I don't feel lucky.." I sighed.

"You have all the reasons to feel lucky, you just have to look around you."

~

"Aren't you going?" Himchan nudged Yongguk's arm.

"No."

"You haven't been there once, don't you think you should visit her? She probably wants to see you."

"I don't have a right to visit her." Yongguk shrugged.

"What happened between the two of you?" Himchan questioned. He only saw Hyeri pointing a gun at Yongguk and then the explosion happened, but he had no idea what happened before it and Yongguk wasn't talking.

"We broke up." Yongguk said dryly.

"I don't care if you had a fight, get your over there. If not as her boyfriend then as her colleague."

"I'M NOT GOING!" Yongguk shouted and walked out of the room, leaving Himchan dumbfounded. What the hell happened?

~

"What day is it?" I asked Sey when she sat next to me in my hospital room. It was time to close the gaps in my mind and to answer some of the questions I had.

"You slept for two days." Two days?! . We had schedules, including a music video shooting. I messed up.

"Then the music video?" I panicked. I really messed up. Everyone must be mad at me..

"We rescheduled the filming. Don't worry, your health is the most important." she smiled warmly.

"But.."

"No buts." she cut me off. "Don't worry, it won't hurt our debut. And if it does then we'll handle it. It's not a big deal."

"It is for me." I frowned.

"Such a workaholic." Sey sighed, but still let a smile decorate her face. As expected from Hyeri, her mind is full with either Yongguk or work. It's rarely filled with other things.

~

"Don't walk out on me, mister!" Himchan chased after Yongguk. He didn't know what was going on, but he was going to get some answers.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Yongguk growled.

"I don't want to." Himchan stated. "I'm your friend, talk to me." he pleaded. Yongguk stopped in his place and turned to Himchan slowly.

"What do you want?" Yongguk asked quietly. Himchan smiled, knowing he won.

"What's wrong? I know how much you care about her, so something serious must have happened if you are not going there."

"I told you we broke up."

"Not that bull again.." Himchan sighed. "I was there when she said that to you, and neither of you meant it. What really happened?"

Yongguk sighed heavily before talking. "I messed up. I don't deserve her."

"How about you let her decide it?"

"I can't."

"Why?" Himchan insisted.

"BECAUSE I ING FROZE, OKAY?" Yongguk snapped. "I promised her I would protect her and that I won't let anything happen to her, but Zico did things to her in front of me and I didn't stop him. I just let him do whatever he wanted because I'm useless and a ing wimp. So no, I can't go to her and pretend everything is fine and tell her I love her when I did nothing to help her when she needed me. She deserves better."

Himchan was taken aback. He knows his best friend, and this is not like him. "You are not a wimp, nor useless. I'm pretty sure Hyeri agrees on that also."

"I froze." Yongguk repeated, and Himchan stayed quiet. He didn't know what to say.

"Forget it." Yongguk sighed and turned to leave.

"Do you love her?" Himchan asked. Yongguk stopped and looked at Himchan.

"Yes, I do. I don't know how or when it became so serious, but I love her. I would give a lot to make her happy, including letting her go."

"She is happy with you. Everyone can tell that."

"No one will be happy with a useless boyfriend." Yongguk scoffed. "I'm only getting her in trouble."

"Look, I wasn't there and I don't know the whole story, but you should talk to her. Maybe you froze and maybe you messed up, but you should stop being a coward and go talk to her and solve things. If you really break up after this at least you'll know you tried."

"I'm not going to talk to her."

~

More doctors and nurses came to check how I'm doing and to give me some medicines and run some tests. I sighed in relief when they finally left, leaving me by myself. Since I woke up I always had other people around me, so I was happy to have some time to myself. I needed it. I yawned and laid back in my bed, trying to gather my thoughts. I need to remember what happened. There was Zico and the hut. And the ties and the leather clothes. And Yongguk coming to the hut. And Zico.. Doing things. Disgusting. I could feel the nausea starting from just thinking about it. Yongguk.. How do I face him after letting Zico do this to me? I should have fought more to stop him. Yongguk wouldn't want me anymore if I'm used or damaged, right? And Yongguk deserves better. Zico was right.. Me and Yongguk wouldn't last. He won.

Another image came to my mind - The gun. I threatened Yongguk with a gun. And I hurt him as well because I was reckless. What the hell was I thinking?! I was out of my mind and I was so obsessed with revenge that I didn't look around me to see what I'm actually doing. I'm an idiot. If somehow Yongguk would have wanted me after being used by Zico, there is no way he'll want me now after I pointed a gun at him. A ing gun. I could have killed him, and I almost did. I'm only causing him troubles.. No wonder he is tired of handling me.. Maybe Himchan was right when he always told me that only Yongguk is crazy enough to date me.. What sane person would?

"What are you doing?" Sey cut me off from my thoughts, bringing me back to reality.

"Nothing.. Just thinking." I tried to smile.

"About your lover boy?" she smirked.

"Sort of.." I mumbled.

"Why isn't he here yet? I thought he would run here once you woke up.."

'Because nobody wants to date a damaged person or someone that tried to kill him' is probably the answer.. But it's not like I can tell her that, right?

"We broke up." I said. I saw her face fall.

"What? No way.. Why?"

"Just because." I shrugged. "Can you do me a favor?"

"What is it?"

"I don't want to see him." I stopped myself from saying the rest out loud - 'Because I'm too embarrassed to face him and I don't know how to start asking for forgiveness'.

"Are you sure?" Sey hesitated.

"Yes, I'm sure."

"As you wish.." she sighed.

~

"What's up?" Jinu sat at the bench near Yongguk. They were sitting in a park near the hospital Hyeri was hospitalized at. The amount of hours Yongguk spent here in the last couple of days.. But he never had the courage to get inside and watch her or talk to her. He was too scared to do it.

"How is she?" Yongguk asked, adjusting his cap. He wore a baseball cap and a mask so people won't recognize him.

"She is getting better, but it'll probably take a couple more days until they release her.. She need to rest." Yongguk nodded. "Why don't you see her for yourself?"

"It's not really a good idea right now.. I think she is mad at me." Yongguk admitted and burried his gaze on the ground, examining the dirt on his shoes like it was the most intresting thing in the world.

"You should go talk to her."

"I have something to ask." Yongguk looked up at Jinu, ignoring his comment.

"What is it?" Jinu looked curiously at him.

"Can you make sure they run a few more tests on her? She is not eating properly and she fainted a couple of times lately.."

"Did you get her pregnant?" Jinu asked in a serious tone and Yongguk's face became red as a tomato. That's not what he meant..

"No, I swear it's not that! We never did this.." Yongguk waved his hands, panicked. Jinu smiled, amused from Yongguk's panicked reaction.

"Relax, I was just joking." Yongguk calmed down.

"I'm just worried since she is not taking care of herself and I can't watch her 24\7.. I'm scared she'll collapse or suffer from something serious."

"Alright, I'll tell them to check." Jinu put his hand on Yongguk's back.

"Thank you."

"By the way.."

"What?"

"They ran the other check you asked for.." Yongguk's heart skipped a beat. He really hoped it's not what he thought it is..

"It's.. You know that she is.." Jinu took a deep breath, thinking about his words.

"What?" Yongguk started to panick.

"Inexperienced in that field, right?" Jinu asked and Yongguk sighed in relief. Good. She is still a , which means Zico didn't her.

"I know, she told me." A small smile was formed on Yongguk's face, for the first time since this whole thing happened.

"Treat her well, she is really a treasure. It's not easy to find girls like her."

"I know, I promise I'll do my best." Yongguk promised. If she'll ever give him another chance..

~

"Kiddoh!" Jinu walked into my hospital room with a bouquet of irises.

"Hey, oppa." I smiled brightly. It was good seeing him.

"I brought some flowers." Jinu smiled. "And your fans brought you this." he gave me two boxes of chocolates.

"Huh? My fans?" I asked confused.

"Yes, apparently you have some." Jinu smiled.

"How would they know I'm here? I asked, dumbfounded.

"Well, people saw B.A.P hanging around here and they started getting suspicious and then someone leaked to the media that your MV filming was canceled, so we had to release a statement about it.. We said that you collapsed from over-working and that you need to rest." Jinu explained while arranging the flowers near my bed. When he finished he sat the empty chair next to it.

"Oh." I tried to process what he just said. "B.A.P was here?" I tried not to sound too anxious although my heart started to beat faster. Was Yongguk here as well?

"Yes. And the girls as well, and some of the staff.. You really scared us when you didn't wake up."

"Sorry.." I apologized, bowing my head.

"Stop talking nonsense, it wasn't your fault." he ruffled my hair.

"Aren't you going to open it?" Jinu asked and pointed at the boxes of chocolates. They had notes attached to it.

"Yes." I smiled and took one of the notes out, opening it. It had four lines written on it and it looked like it was written by a girl:

Hyeri Unnie!

Get well soon, we are cheering for you!

Don't over-work yourself!

Love, Hanna.

Hanna? It must be just a coincidence.. There are tons of girls named Hanna, and the one I'm thinking about is dead. Plus, it doesn't look like someone is trying to play with me since almost no one knows about this thing..

"What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost." Jinu asked, worried.

"Sorry, I just got dizzy for a moment." I lied and tried to smile.

"I'll go get the doctor." he said and got up quickly, heading towards the door.

"You don't have to, it's fine!" I called after him, but he was already gone. I sighed and took the second note out. It was similar to the first one, but a different name was signed on it. I smiled. It's nice having people care about me.. It feels warm.

~

"Can I ask something?" Yongguk asked Himchan when he got back to their room.

"What is it?" Himchan lifted his eyes from the book he was reading to look at his friend.

"The pictures.. You got rid of them, right?" Himchan set his book aside.

"The Hyeri ones? Yes."

"All of them?" Yongguk questioned. He saw only two pictures and he was sure Zico had worse pictures than the ones he sent him, and he didn't want them floating around.

"Yes. I made sure he didn't have more copies or a backup. The only ones left is the ones in your phone that he texted you."

Yongguk sighed in relief. He need to delete this pics as well.. It will be a disaster if anyone finds them. In the first picture Hyeri was lying on the wooden bed in the hut wearing only her bra and . Her eyes were closed and her hair was all over the place. He figured Zico took that picture before he dressed her in that leather clothes.. She was gorgeous, but that picture is still too revealing. In the second picture she was wearing the leather clothes and only her hands were tied. Her head was falling forward and she looked unconscious.

"Good. Thanks, man. I owe you."

"No problem." Himchan smiled. "But you know, I saw the ones he sent you.." Yongguk glared at him. He didn't like where this was going..

"The one on the bed looks like a lingerie commercial. I admit I expected her to wear some cute lingerie and not y one from lace.. She really rocked it."

"Watch it." Yongguk warned. He doesn't like this type of comments about Hyeri, even if they are coming from Himchan and even if he and Hyeri are technically not dating right now.

"And the leather one looks like they were taken from a movie. Plus, Hyeri looks innocent, it's really the trend right now.. She could have made a lot of money by doing it."

"Please tell me you didn't offer my girlfriend to do ." Yongguk glared furiously at Himchan. If looks could kill, Himchan would be dead right now after being tortured to death by Yongguk.

"I should go.." Himchan said and ran out to the living room, running away from the furious Yongguk. He crossed the line.

"What's all the noise?" Youngjae asked when he noticed the frightened Himchan and the angry Yongguk. The others looked curiously at them as well.

"I just told Yongguk that with inncoent looking girls is better. What do you think?" Himchan asked the guys.

"Yah. That's not why I was mad!" Yongguk glared at Himchan.

"Then what is it?" Yongujae asked curiously.

"I might have said something about Hyeri as well.." Himchan said quietly.

"KIM HIMCHAN!" Now all the guys were chasing after him, ready to hit him.

Author's Note:

I almost finished the chapter with a cliffhanger, but I decided to spare you :)

P.S - I love the song Yongguk uploaded so much. I'm obviously biased, but I can listen to his voice all day without getting tired of it.

Thank you for reading, commenting, subscribing, etc.!

I'm always surprised when people subscribe to this story and that no one unsubscribed after I update.. It really makes me happy :)

I promise to do better in the future!

M.