SMWTY (Stammering My Way To You)

Felix stutters when he talks to cute boys. Cute boys with muscles. Cute boys that are Felix's type. Apparently, Felix has a crush to a certain dark yet cute boy with muscles, Seo Changbin. He is a friend of his cousin, Bang Chan. He has this crush to the older boy for a while now but never had a chance to talk to him. Or he has many chances but he'll stutter and embarrass himself. So, looking at Seo Changbin form afar is enough for him.

"You know what you need, Lix?" Felix tore his sight away from a certain guy on the other corner of their school's canteen.

Felix huffed at his friend, "I know. Talk to him. Tell him about my feelings for him. But I don't have the confidence like yours, Sung." He slumped his shoulders down and leaned his face down on the table. Jisung pats his back, sighing too.

"Plus, Hyunjin already likes you in the first place! We have very different situation, I am certainly out of his league. I'll just embarrass myself in front of him." Felix continued, groaning at the thought of being rejected.

"Yow! What are you gays doing? Is Felix okay?" Came a voice of Minho. He's with his boyfriend, Seungmin, and Hyunjin behind them.

"Just Felix here wallowing his feelings for the dark dude over there. And yeah, he's fine, just loveless and a coward." 

"Hey!" Felix was about to hit his friend but Jisunh had already fled away and dived straight into Hyunjin's arms with a big grin in his face. Felix groaned again.

Minho just sat on one tge chairs, Seungmin on his lap, while laughing at the scene.

"Just talk to him, Lix. I'm sure it's going to be fine." Seungmin said.

"Yeah. If I don't stutter." Felix deadpans and scoffs, emphasizing the word "if" to prove his point.

"Anyway, party at Hyunjin's place tonight. Be there to get motivated." Minho winks at him.

"Motivated, as in watch Jisung and Hyunjin eat each other's faces out?" Felix rolled his eyes but smiled at his friend after.

"Hey! We're not like that!" Jisung complained but his blushing face says otherwise. His pout was being ignored by his friends and Hyunjin just chuckles but is also giving Jisung a peck on the cheek that made Jisung blushed even more.

Hyunjin is known of being a party goer and also  hosts a party every or most of weekends. And in those parties he'd attended to, he failed to talk to Changbin except for a shy "hi"or a "hello" back when Changbin saw him first.

They eat in peace, sometimes with playful banter from the couples around him, he felt envious towards them. If only he will not stutter everytime he talks to him. He internally sighed and decided that he will not attend to this party and just work for his essay assignment instead.

After their lunch, he gets his books from his locker when he didn't notice someone has approached his way, the next thing he knew he collided with someone's chest.

Felix had to calm himself when he saw a smiling Changbin looking at him. The impact is nothing to worry when he was held by Changbin on the waist.

"Uh..I--I am so s-sorry, hyung! I d-didn't see y-you."

Great. He flinched internally, as always, the stutter wouldn't leave him alone. He really is a master on this field.

"Hey, it's okay. You alright though?" He kinda missed how worried Changbin lookef because the hand on his waist is very distracting.

"You seemed absent minded, are you alright?" Changbin adds while helping the younger stands up properly.

Felix can go to heaven now. The worry in Changbin's face killed him. Or is he just imagining things? Because why would he be worried to me right?

"Felix?" Changbin puts the back of his palm over the younger's forehead, feeling him if he's having a fever.

"You're so red. Are you alright? Do I need to call Chan?"

Oh great. Maybe he is trully dying?

"I-I'm f-fine, h-hyung. I--I was just uh--Look at the time, I'll go to class now! Bye, hyung!"

Felix quickly ran towards his classroom, leaving a slightly amused Changbin. He shook his head, a smile on his lips, while looking at the direction Felix has ran to.

Whew. "That was fast," Felix thought. Maybe he'll never stutter when he'll tell him fast and quick.

_
When class is over, Felix is waiting for his cousin at the school gate.

"Lix!"

He heard a familiar voice calling him. Chan is his cousin and roommate. They always go to school and go home together. Sometimes, they'll go home with his other friendsbsince Chan has a car. Sometimes they'll go home with Chan's boyfriend, Woojin. But today it feels different, he knew his friends won't go home with then but he didn't see Woojin too, instead he saw Changbin.

"Let's drop Changbin first, he didn't bring his car today."Chan informed his cousin who is contemplating to run away from them or give Chan excuses to not ride with him today.

"Okay." But he answered instead. He tried to caom his heart especially when Changbin turned to look and smile at him.

"Hi, Lix. You're okay now? You just ran away a while ago." Changbin said  a little worried. Chan raised his eyebrow at his cousin but a small smirk could be seen on his face.

Felix turned away from them heading to where Chan had parked his car.

"I'm f-fine. Let's just go home, Chris."

The ride is quite except for a humming Chan while driving. He sat beside Chan in the passenger seat while Changbin was in the back, scrolling his instagram feeds.

"You guys will go to Hyunjin's party tonight?" Changbin suddenly blurts out frok the back, finally stopping himself from looking at his phone.

Chan hummed in affirmation and then turned to look at Felix.

"Yeah, absolutely. How 'bout you, bud?"

He knew Chan will pester him later about this but he got his excuse ready.

"I need to finish my essay, Chris."

"Aww, come on. It's weekend." Chan whined.

"And my essay knows no weekend." Oh God, please let Chris spare him this time. How he really wished Woojin is here because the older will save him in times like this.

"Lix, are you okay? You seemed stress. You know you can tell me anything. What made you so stressed out?" Great. But Feoix smiled at his cousin.

"I'm fine, just the essay. You know..korean. I still at it."

Chan smiled back, "you'll be fine. You should release that stress out and don't worry about your essay too much. I'll help you make it."

Felix seemed to lighten up by the idea but he still didn't want to go to the party. What's the point if he can't even make proper conversation with Changbin, right?

"Great! That's settled then. I'll help you with your essay and you'll go to the party with me tonight."

Felix's eyes widened, "what? I didn't even say anything?"

But Chan just chuckles. And maybe, he saw how Changbin gave a little smile through the mirror. He had to swallow hard because damn Changbin looked so cute when he did that small smile.

At Hyunjin's place, it looks like a disaster. Well, every party looks like one. The thing he really doesn't like is being left out because as they entered Hyunjin's mansion (yes, Hyunjin's parents are loaded and currently in business trip abroad, Jisung must be so lucky with Hyunjin's rich ), Chan is gone. One thing for sure, he's finding Woojin.

"Oh! Hey, look who's here!" Seungmin shouted over the loud music playing in the background, who also looked comfortable in Minho's lap, like the space beside his boyfriend on the couch has something wrong that's why he prefers sitting in the older's lap.

"Yeah, just because Chris promisef me to help with my essay." He answered as he found a space in Minho's left side, ignoring Hyunjin and Jisung who were making out in the corner of the other couch.

"Speaking of that cousin of yours, where is he?" Minho asked, snaking his hands around Seungmin's waist. Felix released a pathetic sigh as he always noticed small things that couples always did, he's here like more or less five minutes ago.

He took to look around before answering, "don't know, probably with Woojin hyung."

A few seconds later since Felix's appearance, Hyunjin and Jisung might get tired of eating each other's faces out, finally noticed his presence.

"Lixie! You're here!" Jisung exclaimed excitedly. Why is he so excited? It's not like he ever missed any party his boyfriend had hosted. He's tired of saying his reason repeatedly that he's here just because Chan promised him to help making his essay, so he just shrugged off. Hyunjin grinned at him.

"You wanna drink?"

He probably shouldn't drink but he nodded anyway.

"Well then, feel at home. Drinks at the kitchen's counter." Hyunjin nodded his head to the kitchen's way. Felix needed to get away from where he's seated at because Minho and Seungmin started grinding in Minho's lap and he didn't want to witness that.

Upon entering the kitchen, there he sae his ever dear cousin making out with Woojin on the counter beside the perfectly lined up alcohol in various containers. He cleared his throat, suddenly feeling how dry his throat is, with all the make outs he had witnessed already and it's not even 10 minutes since he entered here.

"Hey, Lix.." Felix rolled his eyes to his cousin and smiled to Woojin.

"Hi, Woojin hyung. Sorry for disturbing you but I need a drink so.."

Woojin chuckles, "it's okay, bub. Are you okay though?" Woojin's worried voice made Felix to look at his hyung again.

"Yeah. I just--everyone's just making out!" And he felt left out, his mind unnecessarily supplied. The party is exclusive for Hyunjin's friends and some school mates, but everyone here is dating. Felix just bitter, he can't even talk to his crush properly.

Chan is chuckling too but turned to smirk at him, "Changbin's disc jocking tonight, if you want to talk to him just give him a drink or something."

Felix groaned. Woojin chuckled as he jumped off the counter and dragged Chan outside the kitchen.

"Leave him be, Chan. You're not helping. Catch you later, bub." Woojin's really fond of calling him that but he liked it. It felt like he's special to the older. Since Chan and Woojin were together, he really felt like he has another older brother other than Chan that looked out for him. He smiled at the thought and decided to have a drink. He chose a canned beer because it's the only available with smaller container and he didn't plan to get wasted tonight.

After grabbing the beer, he turned around from the counter to return to his friends when he almost collided with one and only Seo Changbin (again.) This was the second time that happened today. He can feeo how his heart beats so erratically and when Changbin smiles at him, he can feel his tongue twisting inside his mouth, like it's tying itself just to make Felix stuttered and embarrassed in front of his crush.

"Uhm-- I-- so-sorry, hyung." And he laughed awkwardly. He didn't notice how hard he's squeezing the can of his beer in his small hand.

"It's okay. What you got there?" Changbin's smile remained whike eyeing the can of beer in Felix's hand.

"Uh- just b-beer? I mean-- you w-want to d-drink some? He-here let me open it f-for you." And without thinking, he pulled the handle opener of the can and the contents splattered away and landed to the man in front of him. He too can taste the bitter beer as some landed on his face.

He couldn't believe it. How careless he is. He forgot how to breathe at the moment. He just stands there frozen with his mouth opened in shock in front of his ing crush, who by the way just blinked at him slowly.

He wanted to cry. He wanted to run but he was frozen. He could feel the warmth creeped on to his neck and face. This is a total -up of the year. A disaster ge seemed to master without practice.

"I- I'm s-so sorry, hyung. I wasn't—" he stuttered as always without looking at Changbin's eyes because if he will do, he might cry upon seeing the disappointed or angry look of Changbin. He blindly puts down the can of beer which he forgot he's holding and gets his handkerchief from the back pocket of his pants. He then tried, really tried to dry Changbin's face and neck and his shirt using the handkerchief as he blabbered unintelligible words with only "sorry's" are clear out of his mouth.

He stops mid-wiping/drying Changbin's shirt when a pair of lips had crashed into his. It was just a peck but holy . Felix's eyes were as big as a flying saucer plate looking at the man in front of him.

"There. It's fine. I don't understand any of the word you're saying but it's okay, I'm okay." Changbin has this playful smirk on his lips and a mischievous glint in his eyes. How come he's not angry yet? And ! Did he just kiss him?

"You know, your lips taste better than the beer." Changbin continued.

"I-- wha-- what?" He did just hear him right?

"You're cute, especially when you stutter like that but it would be nice if you stop stuttering when talking to me. I am just me, no need t be nervous around me."

Felix mind is short circuiting, he couldn't form any coherent word except--

"I-- what?"

"Or maybe, I'll just make you." Changbin's smirk is wider this time.

"Huh? What do—" he never got to finish it because Changbin's kissing him—kissing, folks! Kissing! But it was only short, but still it was a kiss.

When Changbin pulled away from him..

"Like that. If you stutter again, I'll kiss you until you'll know how to talk to me properly."

"B-but—" a kiss.

"Hey, h-hyu—" another kiss.

"W-what jus—" another kiss.

Felix had to braced his arms on the older's shoulders and he's aware how bulky the other man's arms were, it was like a double kill for him.

"Just wait a ing minute, what's just happened?!"

"Wow, it worked! I like it more when you talk to me straight like that." Changbin said, seemed pleased by the outcome.

Felix just blinked his eyes at him, he's scared of stuttering again, while the older was just chuckling.

"You're so cute, Felix. I like you too, you know? It's just that everytime I tried to talk to you, you turned to be a stuttering cutie and it was fun seeing you like that. But I really, really like you more if you talk to me without stuterring."

"W-what?" Changbin has to kiss him again muttering a "I guess you still didn't learn." Except that time, Changbin is kissing him properly like a sweet prolong kiss, enjoying how soft the younger's lips are.

When Changbin pulled away, he gave Felix a warm smile and cupped his little face in his hands, "yes, I like you too."

Felix seemed to get his brain, heart, soul, and self back, realizing that he's not dreaming and he is not drunk either. He pulled the older's neck and initiated the kiss this time. It was passionate that he doesn't want it to stop. But they have to breathe, so they have to let go of each other's lips. He smiled up to Changbin.

"I really like you, hyung. Will you go out with me?"

"Thought you never ask."