Chapter 105

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Author POV

Sungyeol tighten both of his fist on the sink and panting hard. They just got 2 hour before the opening gimmick for the collaboration stage and he had a minor pain on his chest and stomach. Sungyeol also had his treatment early this morning and he still felt the pain from the treatment. The full rehearsal they had yesterday already take too much toll on his body.

He grits his teeth and closes his eyes tightly to endure the pain. He can let anyone know about his condition when everyone from s, TVXQ/JYJ’s members and even the entire staffs who involved in the collaboration stage preparation has work hard for this day.

The sweats keep on flowing on his face blurring Sungyeol’s sight but he didn’t even care to wipe it off. All he can think about is how to maintain a calm face to avoid everyone suspicion on his condition. At least he feels a bit relief that Mr.Choi had promised him that all the security staffs are secretly hired by Cjes Entertainment and Shinhwa. So nobody can enter the waiting room and backstage area without a proper security check so Sungyeol don’t have to worry about anyone spy on him.

“Hyung~~~~hyung~~~~Sungyeol hyung~~~~”

Sungyeol quickly wipe all the sweat with the back of his sleeve and splash the water to his face to make his pale face look a bit fresh.

“I’m here Jongie ah…….don‘t be so loud…..”

Sungjong skip lightly and stand beside his favorite hyung while fixing his hair in the mirror.

“Why are you still here~~~you didn’t do your make-up yet……Yoorim noona has been looking for you~~~”

“We still got some time…..after all; i won’t be using a thick make-up like you….so it won’t take much time…..that’s why Yoorim noona always ask you and Myungsoo for that first….”

Sungjong just chuckle at Sungyeol’s remark. Indeed he was right.

“Whatever~~~let’s go, hyung~~~~”

Sungjong stop on his track when Sungyeol didn’t even move an inch when he pulled him.

“Go first~~~~I’m a bit nervous about this stage…..so I need to pee…..again~~~”

“Again??? Hyung this is not our first concert~~~what are you nervous about?”

“I know….but this is our first collaboration concert….and with TVXQ/JYJ sunbae-nim on top of that…….don’t tell me you feel nothing….”

Sungjong hum and sigh softly.

“We all feel the same….. we just keep it to ourselves……Sungyu hyung and Woohyun didn’t even say a word since an hour ago to take care of their voice……Dongwoo hyung and Howon hyung keep on massaging and warming up their muscle for their first dance battle with Yunho hyung…..and Myungsoo hyung keep on looking at our performance list and sketching our dance formation……he said he feel worried if he forgot anything……so….yeah, we all nervous…..”

Sungyeol smile faintly and ruffle the youngest head. He know that Sungjong always seek for him every time that boy worried or concern about something. But he can’t offer any consolation to comfort him with his condition right now. So, maybe he can at least lessen the burden the boy felt.

“Don’t worry…….everything will be fine…..just do your part well so that other hyungs can be less worry about you…….we all trust you……”

Sungjong smile sheepishly and nod. All the nervousness and worried that wildly thumping in his heart vanished by Sungyeol’s gentle voice and Sungyeol’s soft hand on his head.

“I will~~~Junsu hyung help me a lot to prepare for tonight…….he also asked me to become his dance partner for his dance gimmick when he make his appearance with mask…..”

Sungyeol smile a bit while trying hard to cover his face expression to hold the pain in his chest. Even breathing properly is luxury to him now because of the pain.

“Really??~~~I didn’t know that~~~see~~Even the 2^nd dance god approved you~~~so, what are you worried about?”

Sungjong smiles sheepishly again with Sungyeol’s word. Indeed, only Sungyeol can make him feel confident about his skill and feel relax.

“Thanks hyung~~~~I’ll go now~~~don’t be late or you will go on stage bare-face if you make Yoorim noona upset~~~”

Sungyeol smile faintly and wave his hand to send the youngest away and his smile died instantly when he coughs his lung out and gasping for air. The pain in his chest in unbearable and that make Sungyeol feel like crying. If he fails to stand on the stage like everyone expected from him, he will only disappointed all of them that work hard for the collaboration concert and everyone that helping and supporting him so far, including his fans.

“Last time……please god~~~for the last time let me use it…….I’m begging you~~~please…..”

Sungyeol’s hand tremble slightly when he fish out the pill container from his pocket. He hadn’t touched that pill for almost a month already. But just for today, he needs it for the last time. Sungyeol knows that he shouldn’t, but he also know that he should.

That if he still wants to stand on the stage tonight.

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(TVXQ’s waiting room)

“Where is Sungyeol?”

Yunho just sigh softly when Changmin look left and right looking for that boy.

“Later when he was officially a part of our group, you will find him in the same waiting room with us…….”

Changmin pout a bit at Yunho’s calm and sarcastic remark. His mind is full of worry toward that boy that he forgot that they didn’t share the same waiting room. He grab his phone and walk toward the door.

“Where are you going? We were not supposed to go anywhere before our last checkup…….”

“Just a minute…..I want to see that boy for a bit…..”

Yunho just sigh heavily when Changmin lost from his sight before he manages to say anything. He knows what’s on his maknae’s mind. He also worried about Sungyeol. Yunho perfectly know how stubborn Sungyeol is and nobody can change his mind, not even his little brother, Daeyeol.

“Yunho ah~~~got some time?”

The leader of TVXQ turns his head toward the voice.

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(INFINITE’s waiting room)

“Where is Sungyeol?”

Changmin ask the same question he asked Yunho right after he enters the INFINITE’s waiting room. Everyone already used with Changmin concern about Sungyeol that they didn’t even feel weird with his question. If no one understands that, they will think that Changmin is obsessed with that boy.

“Sungyeol is not here…….maybe he take a breather somewhere…..why, hyung?”

Dongwoo quickly answer the question when nobody wants to reply Changmin’s question. Sungyu and Woohyun doesn’t want to talk because they want to take care of their vocal cord before the performance, Hoya listening to the music using a headphone at the corner of the room, so he didn’t even realized that Changmin were in the room. Meanwhile Myungsoo and Sungjong just don’t care. Both of them were not really fond of the fact that someone else other than them is close with Sungyeol.

“Nothing…….is he okay? Did Sungyeol look normal or is there any unusual behavior?”

Everyone, literally everyone including Hoya who quickly takes off his headphone snaps their head toward Changmin at the mentioned of Sungyeol’s name.

“No….nothing……is there a problem?”

Sungyu whose had been quiet for almost 2 hours speak in panic tone. Even Woohyun repeat Sungyu’s question when Changmin didn’t instantly answer the INFINITE’s leader.

“No….just asking because I’m worried……don’t take it seriously~~~~”

Sungjong huffs loudly at Changmin’s remark.

“Don’t make it sound like you are the only one who cares……Sungyeol hyung is INFINITE’s group member, so off…..”

“Lee Sungjong!! Where is your manner??”

The main rapper of INFINITE’s hastily scolds the youngest because of his abrupt statement toward Changmin, but Sungjong just huff again.

“Jongie is right…….don’t be so salty just because you guys help us…..Sungyeol is not yours!”

“Kim Myungsoo~~~~stop it!!!”

This time its Hoya turns to scolded the visual of INFINITE, but Myungsoo just rolling his eyes in annoyance. Meanwhile Changmin just smirk at both of them. That little smirk makes both of the INFINITE’s maknae feel more offended and even Sungyu feel a bit trigger by that smirk.

“You guys done?”

Sungyeol’s raspy voice startles everyone who’s busy staring at each other. Changmin’s little smirk instantly change into a smile when he turn his head toward Sungyeol.

“Sungyeol ah~~~~are you okay? Where were you just now?”

Sungyeol just ignore Changmin’s question and slump on the couch. Nobody say a word, not even Changmin who just got ignored by his junior.

“Sungyeol ahh~~~”

Sungyeol wipe his face with his palm in frustrated manner when Sungyu’s gentle voice calling for him. Then he lifts up his head and glare at two boys that he care the most.

“Lee Sungjong and Kim Myungsoo, please grow up!!! I will not always be with you guys to take care both of you!!! Can you please~~~~please at least hold your temper in front of your senior!!! Show him some respect!!!”

Unlike when Dongwoo and Hoya scolded them, both of the maknae quickly squirms when Sungyeol scolded them.

“It’s okay Sungyeol ahh~~~It’s my fault……they were just worried about you…..”

Sungyeol quickly change his glare toward Changmin and huff.

“It is your fault!!! If you have anything to say, say it to my face because I have nothing more to lose!!!! Please consider a bit about them……and yourself!!! Being spiteful doesn’t make you stronger!!! Don’t go around with that mask on and hurt yourself~~~please, hyung!!”

Changmin’s heart tightens at Sungyeol’s words. He felt in front of Sungyeol. Before, he thought that Sungyeol is just an attentive kind of person who’s caring and sensitive toward his surrounding, but now he realized that Sungyeol is more than that.

Much, much more than that.

While everyone in trance, Sungyeol ruffle his hair and rub his face roughly that show how frustrated he is at the moment.

Seeing that, Woohyun quickly hug Sungyeol and grasp his hands when his face already reddish because of the rings on his fingers scratching his face. Dongwoo let out a deep relief sigh and feel thankful toward Woohyun’s quick action, because the guy in his embrace looks calm a bit.

“Today is the day……we’ve done a lot of preparation……just for today, so please~~~~”

Sungyeol free himself from Woohyun and walk toward the door before turn his body toward everyone inside the room.

“I won’t be on stage for the first 30 minutes for the gimmick performance….so I won’t stand on the backstage at the same time as you guy……go first without me…..I want to be alone for a while, but don’t worry……I’ll be there on time…..”

Nobody seems to have any word to say, not even Changmin. At last, all of them just sigh heavily and Changmin slowly
drag his weak legs back to TVXQ’s waiting room.