LEE JI HOON

I watched as Ha Na went into her house. I drove away when she was out of sight. Ha Na was such a sweet and caring girl towards Joon. I still didn't quite understand why she cared so much about Joon but I was grateful towards her. She had access to Joon that I didn't have. Joon tolerated her being around him which surprised me. I hadn't seen that before...he didn't let people in so easily.

I thought about what I had told Ha Na about my parents. Should I had told her that much? I didn't regret because I knew she wouldn't tell Joon. She wouldn't hurt him more that he already was.

Keeping something like that from him was hard. Ever since our mother died, he had been hurt. Maybe if he knew the truth...would it have been easier? 

It pained to see my brother in so much pain. He blamed himself too much about everything. 

"Ah Jong, is Joon asleep?" I asked one of the maids when I got home. I was really exhausted but decided to see Joon before I went to bed. She said he wasn't so I went up to his room. His door was closed like always. I didn't knock because I knew he wouldn't open if he knew it was me. I just opened the door. He was lying on his bed with his arms behind his head and looking up at the celing. He looked like he was in deep thought because he didn't even notice I was standing there. 

I cleared my throat. Joon turned his head to see me and sat up when he did. His face had changed to an emotionless one. 

"What do you want?" he asked coldly. He looked away not meeting my gaze. 

"I just got home. How are you?" I didn't know what else to say. I just wanted to make sure he was okay.

He smiled sarcastically. "I'm great." 

"Is your condition better? Any progress with your hand?" I looked at his right hand. 

He laughed. What was up with him tonight? 

"Are you making fun of me now?" he stopped laughing and was serious now. "You know damn well I will never be able to move my fingers again." 

"The doctor said there might still be a chance." I said. 

He scoffed. "Is that it? You come in here to tell me there is hope when you and I both know there isn't? Are you trying to get my hopes up?" 

"That is not it. I want you to continue to play Joon.." I was being sincere but he cut me off. 

"Why? I was never good enough according to everybody." 

I didn't say anything. 

"Isn't that right? Or..." he stood up and walked in front of me. "Could it be that..." he paused. "You don't have the attention you once had..? Now that you don't have a rival, no one really cares about you becoming the heir of the wealthiest and most successful music industry in Korea because you already have that. You need more..." 

Before he could say anything else I slapped him. Hard. 

He glared at me with his usual cold stare but this time it was full of hatred. 

"You think that I only want you to play the piano to get more attention to myself?!" I raised my voice. "The son of the most successful musician Lee Joon making a comeback would draw alot of attention to the company and me. That is true. But do you know what? I have never thought about that benefiting me! You love to play...I am thinking about you Joon can't you see that?!" 

He stayed quiet. 

"You are my brother. I am not selfish like father or mother! I actually care about you!" 

His eyes widened. When I realized what I had just said I felt my heart ache. 

"You think my mother didn't care about me?" he looked at me straight in the eye. I was lost of words. 

"Leave." He didn't yell...he whispered. He was hurt. I hurt him...again. 

I decided not to make it worse so I left. When I was out I closed the door behind me and leaned on it. 

Why did I say that? I ran my hand through my hair and sighed.

Joon...I am so sorry for hurting you...I wish I could say that I won't do that again but....I can't. Once you find out the truth, you'll hate me more than you already do. You'll hate the one person you thought you loved this entire time...

I am sorry brother.