Time II
Downing Today, Drowning Tomorrow
Song Ji Hyo came back home at around 10 o' clock after walking around the park with Dong Wook. Winter is coming in a month,it is getting colder by the second. She should have bulked up a bit, but she didn't want to ruin her outfit. Kwang Soo isn't back home yet, probably since he has a meeting with the people in her company. Coming back home drained her, she felt like she was okay, then she felt tired all at once. She didn't bother opening the lights but merely walked around in the dark. Her heavy steps walked to the living room sofa, she sat and just watched the whole house. Her eyelids heavy from the crying, her nose was quite runny. The news that Dong Wook laid on her made her uneasy, if things would have been easier, if things would have been much simpler, she would not have felt like this, she thought. But things are meant to be hard and painful. Song Ji Hyo is not the type to have a lot of friends. There were a lot of people that she was friendly with, of course, but it did not mean that she was close with them. She wonders how her life would be if she had not said no to Dong Wook's proposal. Would she be happier? Would she be picking out wedding dresses now? And wedding venues? The only thing that is left for her is wonder.
She took off the watch that he gave her, it was beautiful. Beautiful in this case was an understatement. It was glorious even. She pressed her fingertips on the glass, time, she thought to herself. She couldn't admit it but she wondered if life could grant her a little bit more time with him. She knows, how people are, they say things just to soothe another person's painful heart. She wonders if Dong Wook would actually come back to meet her, and she thought, it would not have been possible. The air was thick around her, she felt like she was unable to breathe, up until the front door opened.
'Noona?' Lee Kwang Soo says, seeing the her shoes were there. She did not answer though, he'll find her anyways. He took off his black hoodie, sets it down into the coat rack. He turns on the lights, seeing her noona still in her socks, sitting without looking at him. He walks over, touches her head with his hands and squatting in front of her. 'Noona?' He calls again. 'Is everything alright?' He asks.
She could not help but nod, 'I'm okay.' She says.
'Why are you here sitting in the dark like this?'
'I'm thinking.'
'Of what? How did the dinner go?' He asks, keeping her hand into his, lightly kissing the base of it.
'It went fine, I had a good time.'
'If you had a good time, why do you look like you're going to cry?'
She pulls him into her arms, she sets her head on his shoulder. Then she cries. She was waiting for this, waiting for the time to let it all out to him. In sobs and cries, she told him. 'If Dong Wook leaves, it's going to be only you left. I don't want to be alone, I don't want to feel like I'm being abandoned.' She says.
'What are you talking about, noona?' He says, patting her back quite slowly, trying to soothe her. He thought, if he could have taken all her pain away, he would have.
'Dong Wook's leaving Korea because of me, and I feel like I'm being abandoned.'
'What do you mean he's leaving?'
'He's leaving for Hong Kong, and I couldn't say I feel great about it, Kwang Soo-ya.' She says.
He had no questions anymore, so he continues to listen. This is what he could do now, now that things couldn't change. The only thing he could do now, is to listen to her, since the only thing she needs is to be heard and consoled.
'I know that it may sound like I'm greedy and selfish, and I am a bad anyways to cry about these things; but we were friends, good friends even. Better than you and me. I relied on him a lot, I talk to him a lot, we would chat like we have known each other for all our lives. Not being able to have that, makes me kind of devastated. And I am here, crying like an idiot, still choking back tears, being as selfish as ever. And I couldn't stop myself.' She says, she sighs and pulls herself off him.
'Then you can rely on me, talk to me a lot, and we could chat like we have known each other for all our lives. We're people, aren't we? We can't help but have selfish thoughts and to be greedy. That just makes you human, noona.'
Even if Lee Kwang Soo thought it was not the right words to say, it still felt right as rain to her. He looks at her, his eyelashes batting, he could not look at anything and anybody but her. That made her heart felt less painful. He leans in, kisses her cheeks, then her bright eyes that did not seem too bright right now, and finally aims for her lips. There is this feeling, kissing someone you love. Your heart slows down and you feel no worries, the warmth from Kwang Soo's hands on her cheeks as he kissed her slowly, it made her worries flow through her fingers, one by one. She did not feel so alone anymore, now that he's here. The taste of coffee in his lips, she took everything she needed, just so she could taste him. Lee Kwang Soo sometimes is a bit idiotic, and sometimes does not understand what she wants, but right when he kisses her, that was all, whatever she needed.
Comments