Done Enough
Downing Today, Drowning Tomorrow'I've done you so much wrong, why would you want me?' She spoke softly, her head lowered and her voice, he could barely hear it - but he heard it. Of course he heard it. All of his attention is towards her now, of course he'd hear it.
Somehow he drew a slight smile on his face. 'And I placed the past where it belongs, the past.' Sounds familiar, somehow. 'So will you be willing, to try?'
'Can you give me a few days? To think things through?' She sighs. 'You do know that I'm not even divorced yet?'
'I'm fully aware of that fact. Every single step you take, I'll be there to guide you through every way. We're not getting any younger, Ji Hyo-ah. If you want to go back to Kwang Soo, I understand..'
But she stops him. 'No!' Her voice slightly higher than usual. But then she clears . 'No. I'm not going to rekindle that old flame. You said it yourself, I'm not getting any younger.'
And somehow he found the strength inside him to hold her hand, and somehow that was that.
It was midnight and Lee Kwang Soo could not sleep. He had a trick for that, try to trick yourself into trying to stay awake. And slowly he drifted. But then he just could not fall asleep. Her eyes kept on darting onto the frame on his bedside, his wedding picture. His Song Ji Hyo had her hands in his, he clasped onto her waist - as if he didn't want to let go of her. No woman can match her, he knows that best.
But then his doorbell rang, and he jolted from his bed. Like a horror movie, he made his way to the front door. Without thinking, his door swung open. The hallway was empty but someone was standing in front of him, someone he knows - someone he loves the most.
Song Ji Hyo.
And in full swing, he wrapped his arms around him. She still loves me, he says to himself. She still smells the way she does, his hug so tight she could barely breathe. She peeled herself off him, and took a step back.
'Can I come in?' She asked. He pardoned himself and asked her to come in. The house all over the place, fan mail on the floor, much - much lesser than before. His artworks, splayed on the floor and mostly unfinished. Food wrappers, instant ramen on the floor, in a hurry he got a large plastic bag and started to clean up a little. She only sat down when he asked her to.
'Make yourself at home. It's your home too.' He says politely, and all she could think of is how sickened she felt.
Does she miss him anymore?
No, not really.
Not anymore.
Her clothes was just simple. A red plaid shirt, blue skinny jeans, boots and a black with a cap. She thought that it was going to rain. She took off her coat, and sets it aside. 'I'm sorry to have stopped by so late, I was busy the whole day.' She says. That's who she is now, she became who she was now. She became the woman he fell in love with.
'You're everywhere now. Isn't that great, honey?' He says, he heads to the kitchen. He's making her her favorite tea. He comes back, two mugs and sets it on the coffee table.
'No it's okay, I won't be here for long.'
'It's okay, it's a three-step process anyways.' He tries to keep his in array. It's a game anyways, everything are just games when it's Song Ji Hyo. It's either he wins or he loses. And Song Ji Hyo is not planning on letting her win.
It was awkward, she didn't feel scared at all. She just felt like she's at peace with herself, that she's not blaming herself anymore. It almost been a year since they separated. She holds the mug into her hands, her fingertips were cold but now much, much warmer. 'Let's stop.' She says. 'Let's stop all of this.' Her voice deep and monotonous.
'I've done you wrong, I know, and I've waited for you. For us to turn over a new leaf. I changed, Ji Hyo-ah, I'm no longer the same person I was.'
'If you didn't change, then what am I supposed to do? Wait for another year? For us to turn over a new leaf?' She laughs. 'I thought that your behavior on Running Man, chasing for girls on miniskirts are just for show. What we did was just for show. And when you came back home, it all turns off. But it doesn't, for you, does it?' He keeps quiet. Her words cut deep, she reminded him of what he did to her.
She continues. 'You're good to me when you miss me. When I'm not there. When my focus is on everything but you. But it was, you don't miss me anymore.' She smiles, laughing to herself. 'You only love me when you miss me, when you need me to hold you when things go wrong. I am not your mother, Lee Kwang Soo. I am your wife. Well, was.' She scoffs. 'And I was always taking care of you. I mended you when you were broken. I held you up when you needed to be uplifted. We're not children. I can't hold you up and coddle you every time you are dissatisfied with yourself. Even when I did that, it wasn't enough for you, is it?'
'What about you? While you were pregnant, who held you up? Who could have held you up if it wasn't me?' His voice started to raise.
'But you were sick of it, didn't you?'
'Then if I was, then what? Anybody would be sick of it. Anybody would be sick of you.' The side of Lee Kwang Soo that nobody knew. She raises from the sofa, she smiles.
'Then that settles it, let's get divorced Lee Kwang Soo. I understand how I am, and I know that was going hard. But you had absolutely no right to cheat on me. If you want to work on comparisons, then let's compare. Let's compare about what you did to me and what I did to you. Let's sit down tonight and go through it. Let's keep score, let's play with the numbers. But by daylight, you're signing the papers.' She took out a thick bundle of papers, slapped it on the table.
He looked at the folded stack of papers on the coffee table. At the sight of that, all he could do was cry. This is not what he wanted. He just wanted his wife back. But like he did before, she did not have even a slither of sympathy for Lee Kwang Soo. She was done with his .
Stubborn as a bull, she scours the living room and headed towards his study. She picks up a piece of paper, and lays it in front of Lee Kwang Soo. She placed a ballpoint pen as well. 'Start listing. There's no point in crying.'
'I just want you back, Ji Hyo-ah.' He wipes his cheeks with his cuffs. 'I didn't mean to say all of those things, I just want you to be in my life again.'
'Haven't you heard, Lee Kwang Soo? I have no intentions in being your wife anymore. Haven't you done enough?'
Comments