I could not believe that I am doing this.

I cannot believe I am doing this.

I went out from the moving truck, I could see Lee Kwang Soo's car parked outside the truck. When I stepped out of the blue truck, I still couldn't believe it. I tried to carry the boxes but the ahjussi wouldn't let me. 'Let your husband and I do all the work, it's not nice seeing a lady carry boxes. You'll just help later with the unpacking, agassi.' He says with a nice, calming smile on his face. I liked the fact that he called Kwang Soo my husband. I could smile at night listening to his words replaying in his head over and over again. I bet the ahjussi did not know who I was, who we were, I bet he does not watch a lot of TV. But it was nice though. I walked into our new building. A nice, comfortable new apartment, you can still smell the paint. It's a risky investment, but it was kind of worth it. It feels like a new chapter in our book, or a sequel of our first one. I was ready to start fresh. They said to get on without them, the ahjussi and Kwang Soo. I simply nodded and pressed on our floor, '8', that stands for the month of my birthday. I thought it was tacky though, but he insisted. I have been here only once but it was a nice place. It's close to the park, so we can hang out there, have picnics; even though I reckon we would have the time. 815, again, my birthday. Why did I date such a tacky guy?

The place was lightly furnitured. We kind of matched our old furniture from our old apartment so we could save money for the move. It looked kind of nice, the spacious living room, the functional kitchen. The rest of the stuff we had in our apartments were sold to the needy. That was his idea though, and I felt nice about it. The first thing I did once I entered the house was to attack the balcony first. A large balcony, larger than my old home and his, it fits a large picnic table and it was comfortable for us to have meals here. There is a dining room table though, inside, but still, it would be nice to barbecue here. My house is not up for sale though, maybe I'll rent it out for friends in a good price range. It was such a nice area, and such a nice house that it would be such a waste to sell it. I bought it when the economy was just right in a very hefty price, I could double it if I wanted to. But it was the first home I bought when I became a steady actress, I'm not going to let it to waste. I did not see the need to.

The air was cold, autumn is here already. Kwang Soo and the moving ahjussi came after I took my time outside. I watched them carry those boxes upstairs while I made some lemonade for the two of them. The ahjussi wiped his sweat with a 'Good Morning' towel, slapped on his shoulder, drank the lemonade, and thanked me for it. I thanked him for his hard work and asked him to stay healthy. Basically, we didn't unpack. Kwang Soo brought me to the balcony, the street lights . It was going to get really dark soon.

In this point in our relationship, there were a lot of stop signs, a lot of maneuvers that we had to phase through. A lot of pain as well, misdirections. There are no GPS, no Waze in life that could tell you which path to take, which man to choose. With Kwang Soo, the only thing I could do was to not hesitate. Everything is well, everything will go well; and it did. He is looking at me now, his hand clasping mine; he brought it to his lips and lightly kissed it. With Kwang Soo, hesitation is the worst thing that I could ever do. So I opened my arms, closed my eyes and fell on the edge of the cliff, knowing that he would be the one that caught me on the bottom.

'Don't you think we're moving too fast?' He says, smiling at me.

I slapped his shoulder. 'Are you kidding?' He laughs while aching in pain. 'If you're regretting it, I'll kill you, Lee Kwang Soo!'  I said, pointing my finger towards him.

'Noona, I won't, haha, I won't.' He says. Even when the sun is going down, his eyes were fixated on me. His stupid smiling face, even now I still wanted to slap some sense onto this boy. We were only a few years apart, but still I wonder when will he grow up? Probably never.

I touched his face and lightly tapped on his cheek. 'Kiss me.' I said. He smiles and nods. He lands a kiss on my lips. This time, it was not with desperation; it is not with hesitation, but it was with gratitude. The thing is with Kwang Soo, he expresses himself in a way that it connects with his kisses. I couldn't say I hate it, I love it really but it makes me wonder if I was ever like that.

When he lets go, I could feel myself sighing. I could feel myself sighing because he lets go. He catches my breath, every time he kisses me. He would have looked normal, like any other day, but when he kisses me, I could feel him crippling something inside of me. Like if I ever left, I would remember the way he kisses me, and I would keep crawling back to him. It's devious, really.

I could see him getting red, even the silhoutte of him. 'Let's order in, noona.' He says. I nodded. I could use some jjajangmyun though, after a kiss like that. We ordered a lot, I couldn't believe how much we ordered. Jjajangmyun, jjampong, tangsuyuk, extra danmuji for him, jjajangbap, and also dumplings as service.

'Don't you think this is a bit much, Kwang Soo?' I asked, after the delivery man arrived. Even the delivery man looked at us as if we were crazy, and for a moment, I really thought we were.

'It's moving day, everybody has Jjajangmyun on moving day.' He says while shaking the bowl of noodles, and tearing the plastic. He handed it to me, and got the other one. He snapped my chopsticks in half and handed it to me.

'I don't think we can finish all of this though, Lee Kwang Soo.' I said, a bit worried but I ate anyways.

'What do you mean, you're Song Ji Hyo, aren't you, noona?' He says, jokingly. I smacked his lap.

'Watch your mouth, I'm still your noona.' I said.

What used to be an odd sight, became something of home to me. I have lived with a few boyfriends, but I have never felt right at home with so much as much as I did. I could let my hair down, expose my bare face without any hesitation (well I am never hesitatant to begin with), with him; I felt like I was so comfortable, it was unreal.

It struck me, after three months, this must be it. This must be what it feels like to want to be with someone, I wanted to be with him forever. I placed my bowl and my chopsticks on the living room table. 'Kwang Soo.' I said.

He looks at her briefly, then goes back to his noodles. 'What is it, noona?'

'Marry me.'

Jaw-dropper.