A Fangirl's Dream

Description

Hello my readers! c: I can't believe this is going to be my 5th full fanfic (don't worry, I'll definately still be updating the others!!!). This story will be, of course, about SHINee. The five boys are given a shocking mission my SME. They will be traveling to the U.S. and each boy will be assigned a "girlfriend." (The girls listen to K-pop, but none of them know of SHINee or just are not big fans. Well.... all expect one....) The exercise is supposed to help them increase their English skills, but the boys couldn't be more angry. Who was SME to pair them with random girls that they had to "date" for THREE MONTHS?! What are these girls like? Will the boys be pleased with SME's selections?

 

As I'm writing this I'm coming to realize that's kind of like Yunhanams! (If you haven't seen that show... watch it now! Support SHINee! :D)

 

CHARACTERS:

Lee Jinki (Onew)- Onew is 23 and a responsible individual, though he can be very clumsy at times. He's not the best at being romantic and usually creates very awkward moments. He has trouble expressing his true feelings. However, when he does love, he loves with his whole heart. The SHINee members are everything to him and he'd never put anything/anyone before them.He loves chicken (obviously) and looks for girl that are sweet, down to earth and real; also with a good sense of humor.

Kim Jonghyun- Jonghyun is 22 and is obsessed with skinship. He's kind of a player so he's not too upset with the idea of having a "girlfriend." He usually takes everything as a joke, but has the power to make girls faint at his suave romantic ways. Though he's known for being such a player, when it comes to his family and his SHINee boys, he'd do anything for them.

Kim Kibum (Key)- Key is 21 and a DIVA!!! He is very set in his ways and what Key wants, KEY GETS. So when he's told he has to have a "girlfriend" he kind of freaks out. He loves fashion. If he sees someone wearing last season's clothes, he shields his eyes from the painful sight. Though he can have a cold exterior, he has a warm heart. He knows how to spoil and girl and make her feel loved. The SHINee boys are like his own children; he's always taking care of them.

Choi Minho- Minho is 21 (3 months younger than Key) and is very competitive. He loves sports and works out every morning. He can be funny once he's opened up to someone, but at first is very quiet. He prefers to keep to himself (except when he's around his SHINee boys). He doesn't complain about the "girlfriend" situation, but isn't thrilled about it either. When he's first around a girl he acts very formal and manly. As he gets to know a girl he still acts manly, but grows very intimate and sweet.

Lee Taemin- Taemin is 19 and is very passionate about dance. Because he's the maknae, most people just obsess over his cuteness. He dreams of the day when someone will take him seriously and see him as more than just a cute little mouse. He wants to be viewed as a man. Taemin is down to earth and is usually very bubbly and happy. However he can become shy around certain people, especailly girls that he likes. He is secretly excited about this "girlfriend" project because it makes him feel older.

Rebecca Doile (Becca)- Becca is 15 years old, but very mature for her age. Most of her friends are older, so she's grown up feeling older than what she really is. Becca loves writing (poems, lyrics, etc.), photography, singing, listening to music and is a total er for romantic movies. She loves a guy who can make her laugh, and hates dating people shorter than her. She has very curly, dark brown hair and is 5' 8". She always wants to help people and has a hard time being mean. Her feelings are hidden by her sweet smile, but expressed in her writing and other hobbies. She is secretly a hopeless romantic. Oh! And she was introduced to K-pop through her cousin, Brianna.

Brianna DeFelis- Brianna is 18 and free at heart. She enjoys making other people smile and is very good at it. She is cute and simple and enjoys dancing and hanging out with friends. She is of medium height with blonde hair (usually worn straightened) and loves a guy who can take charge. Though she can act cute and childish at times, she is very responsible and trustworthy. Her cousin, Becca, thinks the world of her and has always looked up to her as a role model and a best friend. Brianna loves her family and friends.

Carolyn Gleason- Carolyn is 16 and full of love. She had a rough past, starting when her father deserted her and her mother when she was only three, and continuing when her mother died in a car accident five years later, sending her to go live with her abusive uncle. She signed up for this SHINee contest in hopes of escaping her rocky past and making a new start. She has so much love to give and just wants to be loved back. She is a VERY talented artist and spends her time drawing and painting. She has curly red hair and is 5' 6".

Nicole Fayner- Nicole is 19 and is a stuck up brat. Her rich parents were never around when she was a child because of their work, so instead they spoiled her with toys, money, and parties. When Nicole saw this contest she signed up for two reasons: She was bored... and it could make her FAMOUS. She's been searching for true happiness her whole life, but still hasn't succeeded in finding it. She's been used by a countless amount of boys, but denies it saying that SHE was using THEM. Secretly she is very insecure and just wants to be happy. She is very short with long, wavy brown hair.

Vanessa Catlin- Vanessa is 17 and well... A FREAK! She is OBSESSED with SHINee, especially Jonghyun. Her room is filled with pictures of him. She stays up all night watching every video of him that has ever been posted on youtube, and writing fanmail (which is actually more like stalker mail). She practically breathes K-pop. She was expelled from her old school for punching a girl who said that Asians looked funny. When she found out she was one of the winenrs of the contest to date SHINee, she immediately started planning Jonghyun's and her wedding. 

Foreword

I was listening to the piano cover of SHINee's "Hello" and it made me think of the PERFECT opening scene for like the beginning credits, if my fanfic was a movie. Please listen to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaDhJf2_bYM  while you read my intro. It just... oh I want to make it a movie so bad. I can see everything in my head, all the way down to camera angles and lighting affects. Anyway, I'll stop blabbering. Here it is:

The scene opens up with the camera focused on an orange suitcase. You hear a voice shout from somewhere in the background. Camera now focuses on a very beautiful girl sitting infront of a vanity mirror putting on lipstick. She shouts "Coming!" to the person, and jumps up. You see the suticase again, and the girl's perfectly manacured hands zip it shut. We're now a very large framed shot of the front of a giant mansion. It's white with columns on either side of the entrance. Zoom in for an overhead shot of the girl hurrying down the steps. The chauffeur opens the door of her limo and she climbs in. The servants take care of her suitcase. The limo begins to pull forward. We're now switched to a scene (from across the road) of a girl sitting on an old, ragged suitcase at a bus stop. Cars zoom by. She watches the happy people walking by from her lonely place on the suitcase. *Camera comes closer* She looks sad and clings tightly to something in her hands. She looks down and we get a shot of the pamphlet for the SHINee contest from 'her point of view'. We're back across the road now as the bus pulls up to the stop. We're shooting from the side so we can see her and the bus. She takes a deep breath and stands, taking her suitcase in her hands. She makes her way toward the bus. Now we see a blonde haired girl in a crazy mis-matched outfit standing on her bed (camera shooting from the doorway of her bedroom). We now look from the side of her as she kisses each picture of Jonghyun hanging on her wall goodbye. We hear a mother's voice shout "Hurry up honey! It's time to go!" Camera pulls back and we see her jump off her bed. We're in the front hall now and we see her grab her bag before runnign out the door. We're outside in the driveway now. She throws her bag into the back of the minivan before climbing in. We see (through the window of the car) her buckling her seatbelt as the van backs out of the driveway. Now we see a side shot of two girls, one blonde and one dark haired, sitting in the back seat of a car. They are singing in laughing like crazy. You can tell they are very close. Their mothers are in the front seats taking them to the airport. You see the two mothers and two daughters from a distance in the airport. The camera zooms closer as the mothers hug their daughters goodbye. They mothers comfort each other as they let their daughters go. We see the two girls face the doorway to the airplane. A close up shot of them putting their hands in each others. Back to their faces we see them both take a deep breath. The blonde, older one smiles at the younger one, causing her to smile back. Together the walk toward the plane. A see a shot of each girl on the airplane. The first girl is napping peacefully. The second girl is looking around the plane in slight fear, but also amazement. The third girl is talking obnoxiously to the person next to her. The person looks scared. Then we see the last two talking and joking around, trying to contain their excitement. The camera begins to move to the left. It crosses behind a seat on the plane. When it comes out from behind it, we see a different plane. Finally, it's SHINee's plane. And this... is where my story begins<3 

 

 

Woobear27
Just letting those of you who are wondering that YES there WILL be a sequal to this story^.^ I am in the process of writing it right now!

Comments

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EHhyung
#1
Really nice story and I really love it so much
sinebright1095 #2
I love it :)
writerinprogress94
#3
Chapter 6: Second review of the day! Let's do this! Chapters 3-6, woo! (And this is why I shouldn't have caffine...)
I don't think I caught any spelling or grammar errors in the last 4 chapters. There might have been a few places where the wrong punctuation sign was used, but other than that, 9.5/10 on grammar and spelling.
I feel like there wasn't as much description in the last four chapters, but there was definately more dialogue so it balanced out. 8.5/10 on word choice.
Your sentence structure was still a bit choppy in places, but your transitions were flawless. You moved very smoothly from one chapter or POV to another. 9/10 on sentence structure and transitions.
The characters are filling out very nicely! 9/10
Continuation value?
...
...
... 80/100 :D
Now on to the next chapter!
writerinprogress94
#4
Chapter 2: seem a bit choppy. Maybe if they were combined...? Your transitions between ideas, paragraphs, and POVs were all "Sipjeom Manjeome Sipjeom!(10 out of 10)" Yay for 2PM reference :D
Dear lord, I've had to split this into 2 comments XP Me and my rambling...
Point #4~ Charcters! Any writer who's tried to write several OC's at once can appreciate the difficulty of having to give them each their own unique persona without making them a Mary-Sue. Even though by chapter two I've only seen your OC's a bit, they're all distinguishable from each other. I also think you're doing great on SHINee's POV's, too!
Final point~ Continuation value? (I believe I made up this phrase, but feel free to use it as long as you credit me XD)
In many longer stories, if by around the 5th to 10th I'm not enjoying it or interested for whatever reason, I'll stop reading. Your story, by chapter 2, is already at a 70/100 (which can drop or go up. I can already tell, though, that it'll be at least a 90/100 by the end!)
That's all until my next review! If these long reviews bother you, tell me and I'll shorten them :3
writerinprogress94
#5
Chapter 2: Even though the story is already completed, I'm still going to comment every few chapters. As an author I know how helpful feedback is!
First off, I don't think I caught any grammar or spelling mistakes in the last 2 chapters except for in Minho's POV in Chapter 1. You typed "Ewe, in a public restroom?" for Key's dialogue. "Ewe", spelled E-W-E, is a female sheep. Suggestions for the future or if you want to change it~ "Gross", "Nasty", "Disgusting", or simply "Ew"(sorry if I come across as a know-it-all, I don't try to XD). The only questionable thing is in the first sentence of Onew's POV in Chapter 2 you put "Her drooling words". Obviously I'm not all-knowing (who is, right?) so just because I don't know what that means doesn't mean it's wrong. Do you mean she's actually drooling? Could you clarify? I might want to use that word/phrase in the future, but I'd want to use it correctly! :3
Okay, now to the second point! Your word choice, which I mean by everything like your descriptions/imagery (like how the mansion was described during Key's POV in Captper 1; I don't know about you but writing the detailed descriptions is always the most tedious part of writing the story for me, so I applaud you! :D) to using words other than "said" for dialogue (one of my biggest fanfic pet peeves is when I find a story that has an amazing foreward, then I go to the first chapter and the whole thing is in "'Blah blah blah' said ___" format. Therefore, I really appreciate how you used things like *checks story quickly* "smiled"/"laughed"/"carried on"/etc.) That's really all I have to say on this point.
Point #3~ Sentence structure and segways/transitions between sentences and POVs! Over all in these first two chapters I'd give the sentence structure an 8.5/10. Some of the sentences just seemed a bit choppy. Like in Carolyn's POV in chapter 2 she says/thinks "Most people would've called it gay. I found it utterly attractive." The way they are now at the end of the paragraph they just
writerinprogress94
#6
I can't wait to read this! I listened to the piano cover while I read the opening and I swear I could actually see the whole thing! I can't wait to finish this story and head over to the sequel!
KhKheiselle0901 #7
Chapter 135: Welcome XD :D i just love this story..
EvrydayIsaShiningDay #8
Chapter 135: okay can i just say i was really confused when i saw that this was updates. xD same goes for the sequal. xD
danlyy
#9
That closure is so sad for minho...I suspect its Brianna who's become a black and red girl:/
CookieDookie #10
Ooh sequel :D
Can't wait ~