Confrontation

A Fangirl's Dream

*Key’s POV*

“It’s really hot today,” Taemin remarked to the rest of us sitting in the family room. “We should all go swimming!”

“Yes!” everyone agreed.

“You guys can all go ahead. I’ll let Annie know our plans,” I suggested as everyone hurried toward their rooms to change.

“Oh, don’t worry about it Key. I can tell her,” Jonghyun said.

“No really. I know you always like to be the first one in, so I’ll tell her. It’s not a problem,” I smiled back.

“Okay; well in that case, thanks!” Jonghyun patted me on the arm before scurrying off to change.

I quickly made my way to Annie’s room.

*Annie’s POV*

*Knock, knock, knock*

“Come in!” I shouted through the door as I continued to unpack my bag.

I heard the door open, but didn’t even bother turning around. I knew who it was.

“I was expecting a visit from you,” I said, finally turning to look at the old, familiar face. “You haven’t changed one bit.”

“Well I’m surprised you even remember. How long ago was it… three years?” Key questioned as he shut the door and walked over to me.

“Yes; I was fifteen.”

“You seemed so much older…”

“Well I wasn’t!” I snapped. “You should’ve respected that Key!”

“How was I to know?! If I recall correctly, we were BOTH drunk!”

“That’s another thing; why the heck would you give me alcohol?!”

“Oh, you think that was my fault? Your sister is the one that brought you to that party! I mean, why would someone bring their little sister to a college party?!”

“My parents were out of town, and I didn’t want to be home alone-,”

“Oh, because that’s the perfect excuse,” Key rolled his eyes.

“Look; it was three years ago! We were drunk and stupid, and it was just one night!”

“Yeah, one night that, if anyone finds out about, I could get arrested for!”

“And you don’t think I’d get in trouble for under-aged drinking?!”

“Not as much as I’d get in trouble for having a one night stand with a fifteen year old!”

I turned away, trying to hold back my tears of anger.

“Gosh, you make it sound so terrible Key,” I breathed.

“I BROKE THE LAW Annie; of course it’s terrible!”

“Well did you know you also broke my heart?!” Tears were pouring down my face by this time, but I didn't care.

“Annie come on! It was a drunken one night stand. It meant nothing!” Key said in exasperation.

“Maybe to you, but I was fifteen Key! I was stupid and I thought it meant everything! You scarred me for life! I still stay lay awake in bed wishing I could go back and undo that night!”

“Well we can’t,” Key snapped. “So the best thing we can do is stay quiet and pretend like we have no idea who the other is. Okay?”

He rested his hands on my shoulders, but I pulled away. Just his touch reminded me of that night. I remembered seeing the empty bottles lying next to us on the bed; the feeling of his warm body pressed against mine while his lips kissed my neck.

“Just leave,” I whispered.

“Not until you swear not to tell.”

“Fine; I swear it okay?! Now get OUT!”

I listened to his footsteps stomping toward the door, causing another memory to flash before my eyes: I was waking up in a bed that was unfamiliar to me. My arms were wrapped around his body, but slipped away as he got out of the bed. I watched groggily as he put his clothes back on. I asked where he was going, but he didn’t answer. I listened to his footsteps as he walked toward the door and left; leaving me alone and helpless.

The sound of the door closing jerked me back to reality. I turned with my back to the door, resting my hands on the soft bed in front of me. My vision began to blur again as more tears found their way out of my eyes.

I had lost my ity when I was fifteen over a drunken one night stand. Worst of all; I’d lost it to the most stuck up diva on the planet. 

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Woobear27
Just letting those of you who are wondering that YES there WILL be a sequal to this story^.^ I am in the process of writing it right now!

Comments

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EHhyung
#1
Really nice story and I really love it so much
sinebright1095 #2
I love it :)
writerinprogress94
#3
Chapter 6: Second review of the day! Let's do this! Chapters 3-6, woo! (And this is why I shouldn't have caffine...)
I don't think I caught any spelling or grammar errors in the last 4 chapters. There might have been a few places where the wrong punctuation sign was used, but other than that, 9.5/10 on grammar and spelling.
I feel like there wasn't as much description in the last four chapters, but there was definately more dialogue so it balanced out. 8.5/10 on word choice.
Your sentence structure was still a bit choppy in places, but your transitions were flawless. You moved very smoothly from one chapter or POV to another. 9/10 on sentence structure and transitions.
The characters are filling out very nicely! 9/10
Continuation value?
...
...
... 80/100 :D
Now on to the next chapter!
writerinprogress94
#4
Chapter 2: seem a bit choppy. Maybe if they were combined...? Your transitions between ideas, paragraphs, and POVs were all "Sipjeom Manjeome Sipjeom!(10 out of 10)" Yay for 2PM reference :D
Dear lord, I've had to split this into 2 comments XP Me and my rambling...
Point #4~ Charcters! Any writer who's tried to write several OC's at once can appreciate the difficulty of having to give them each their own unique persona without making them a Mary-Sue. Even though by chapter two I've only seen your OC's a bit, they're all distinguishable from each other. I also think you're doing great on SHINee's POV's, too!
Final point~ Continuation value? (I believe I made up this phrase, but feel free to use it as long as you credit me XD)
In many longer stories, if by around the 5th to 10th I'm not enjoying it or interested for whatever reason, I'll stop reading. Your story, by chapter 2, is already at a 70/100 (which can drop or go up. I can already tell, though, that it'll be at least a 90/100 by the end!)
That's all until my next review! If these long reviews bother you, tell me and I'll shorten them :3
writerinprogress94
#5
Chapter 2: Even though the story is already completed, I'm still going to comment every few chapters. As an author I know how helpful feedback is!
First off, I don't think I caught any grammar or spelling mistakes in the last 2 chapters except for in Minho's POV in Chapter 1. You typed "Ewe, in a public restroom?" for Key's dialogue. "Ewe", spelled E-W-E, is a female sheep. Suggestions for the future or if you want to change it~ "Gross", "Nasty", "Disgusting", or simply "Ew"(sorry if I come across as a know-it-all, I don't try to XD). The only questionable thing is in the first sentence of Onew's POV in Chapter 2 you put "Her drooling words". Obviously I'm not all-knowing (who is, right?) so just because I don't know what that means doesn't mean it's wrong. Do you mean she's actually drooling? Could you clarify? I might want to use that word/phrase in the future, but I'd want to use it correctly! :3
Okay, now to the second point! Your word choice, which I mean by everything like your descriptions/imagery (like how the mansion was described during Key's POV in Captper 1; I don't know about you but writing the detailed descriptions is always the most tedious part of writing the story for me, so I applaud you! :D) to using words other than "said" for dialogue (one of my biggest fanfic pet peeves is when I find a story that has an amazing foreward, then I go to the first chapter and the whole thing is in "'Blah blah blah' said ___" format. Therefore, I really appreciate how you used things like *checks story quickly* "smiled"/"laughed"/"carried on"/etc.) That's really all I have to say on this point.
Point #3~ Sentence structure and segways/transitions between sentences and POVs! Over all in these first two chapters I'd give the sentence structure an 8.5/10. Some of the sentences just seemed a bit choppy. Like in Carolyn's POV in chapter 2 she says/thinks "Most people would've called it gay. I found it utterly attractive." The way they are now at the end of the paragraph they just
writerinprogress94
#6
I can't wait to read this! I listened to the piano cover while I read the opening and I swear I could actually see the whole thing! I can't wait to finish this story and head over to the sequel!
KhKheiselle0901 #7
Chapter 135: Welcome XD :D i just love this story..
EvrydayIsaShiningDay #8
Chapter 135: okay can i just say i was really confused when i saw that this was updates. xD same goes for the sequal. xD
danlyy
#9
That closure is so sad for minho...I suspect its Brianna who's become a black and red girl:/
CookieDookie #10
Ooh sequel :D
Can't wait ~