Times Like These

A Fangirl's Dream

^Isn't Key a cuite? c:

 

*Key’s POV*

For our date I decided to take Brianna on a hike and then have a picnic. I hated these activities, but I knew she loved them. This made it a little less painful.

“We’re almost to the top!” I shouted over my shoulder to Brianna.

“Okay,” she answered.

I was worried about Brianna. She was acting really strange today and I had no idea why. I was hoping she wouldn’t start freaking out on me like Carolyn had done to Taemin.

We finally made it to the top of the mountain. I sighed in relief and sat down on a giant rock to look over the view before us. It was beautiful (http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PlEib4fkXSE/Trv2HoStCHI/AAAAAAAAAQs/jML_8dYxgaE/s1600/mountain-top-view.jpg).

Brianna took a seat next to me and I reached for her hand.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” I asked, smiling over at her.

She made no response. Instead she just stared straight ahead, barely even blinking.

“Brianna, are you okay?” I asked.

Still no response.

“Brianna!”

“What?!” she snapped back to reality as I shouted her name.

“What’s wrong? I thought you’d like this hiking idea, but you seem all distant and sad. Was it something I did?”

“Oh- no, I’m sorry Key. I just have a lot on my mind is all,” she explained, looking down at her hands folded in her lap.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No. No, let’s just have fun, okay?” she smiled and stood up.

“Well, if you’re sure you’re okay-,”

“Come on, let’s see how far we can throw these rocks!” she cut me off, whipping one off the side of the mountain.

I laughed at her aegyo and joined her, though I was still concerned.

I just hope my little yebo is okay.

*Brianna’s POV*

I decided to forget about all the drama back at the mansion and just focus on Key, for his sake. I didn’t want our relationship to fall apart too.

After our rock throwing competition (which he easily won) Key laid out the picnic blanket for us and we both sat down.

“Hmmm, what did Chef Kim make for us today?” I asked in a TV host voice. “Looks like a turkey and cheese sandwich. Time to judge this bad boy!”

I took a bite out of the sandwich.

“How is it?” Key asked, smiling with confidence.

It was amazing as usual, but I decided to keep the act going.

“Oh my, this is terrible! How can someone make a turkey sandwich so bland?! And… is that a piece of moldy cheese?”

“What?! Let me see…”

Key leaned in closer as I showed him the sandwich. Finally when he was close enough I shoved it in his face.

“Do you see it NOW?!” I laughed.

Key wiped the bits of turkey and cheese off his face and glared at me. It wasn’t a playful glare, but a mean, REAL glare.

“Key, I’m sorry. I was just joking around,” I said, feeling terrible that he’d actually taken it to heart.

“Don’t talk to me,” he said, getting up and beginning to walk away.

“Key,” I shouted, chasing after him. I took him by the arm. “How can I make it better?”

“Well…”

A devious smile spread across his face. That’s when I knew I’d been played.

“You can start by calling me Your Highness,” he smirked.

“Are you kidding me?!”

“Fine.” He turned to walk away again.

“Come back… Your Highness,” I almost gagged on the words.

He turned back toward me, a HUGE grin on his face.

“Now give me a hand massage,” he directed, holding out his hands.

This time I obeyed and started rubbing his hands. I finished the left and was about to move to the right when he pulled his hands back.

“Now, give me a lip massage,” he said in a low, taunting voice.

“As you wish,” I smirked, slapping my hand over his mouth and beginning to rub his lips.

“Not like that!” He shouted, ripping my hand away. “Like this!”

He pulled me toward him and pressed his lips against mine. As I began to kiss him back, I wrapped my arms around his neck and put one hand on the back of his head to make our kiss deeper. He slipped his hands around my waist and held me close.

It was times like these where it was impossible to be unhappy. I loved being with Key because it was the only time my mind was really clear; like all I had to worry about was caring about him… loving him.

 

 

 

*Shout out to ROSECLEAR! They commented and earned this chapter for you guys;) (Haha, sorry Roseclear, I can't give you all five, but here is one! Maybe someone else will comment and earn another chapter:D Btw, I apprecite your comment muchly!) Kamsahanida readers<3 *SHINee fighting!*

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Woobear27
Just letting those of you who are wondering that YES there WILL be a sequal to this story^.^ I am in the process of writing it right now!

Comments

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EHhyung
#1
Really nice story and I really love it so much
sinebright1095 #2
I love it :)
writerinprogress94
#3
Chapter 6: Second review of the day! Let's do this! Chapters 3-6, woo! (And this is why I shouldn't have caffine...)
I don't think I caught any spelling or grammar errors in the last 4 chapters. There might have been a few places where the wrong punctuation sign was used, but other than that, 9.5/10 on grammar and spelling.
I feel like there wasn't as much description in the last four chapters, but there was definately more dialogue so it balanced out. 8.5/10 on word choice.
Your sentence structure was still a bit choppy in places, but your transitions were flawless. You moved very smoothly from one chapter or POV to another. 9/10 on sentence structure and transitions.
The characters are filling out very nicely! 9/10
Continuation value?
...
...
... 80/100 :D
Now on to the next chapter!
writerinprogress94
#4
Chapter 2: seem a bit choppy. Maybe if they were combined...? Your transitions between ideas, paragraphs, and POVs were all "Sipjeom Manjeome Sipjeom!(10 out of 10)" Yay for 2PM reference :D
Dear lord, I've had to split this into 2 comments XP Me and my rambling...
Point #4~ Charcters! Any writer who's tried to write several OC's at once can appreciate the difficulty of having to give them each their own unique persona without making them a Mary-Sue. Even though by chapter two I've only seen your OC's a bit, they're all distinguishable from each other. I also think you're doing great on SHINee's POV's, too!
Final point~ Continuation value? (I believe I made up this phrase, but feel free to use it as long as you credit me XD)
In many longer stories, if by around the 5th to 10th I'm not enjoying it or interested for whatever reason, I'll stop reading. Your story, by chapter 2, is already at a 70/100 (which can drop or go up. I can already tell, though, that it'll be at least a 90/100 by the end!)
That's all until my next review! If these long reviews bother you, tell me and I'll shorten them :3
writerinprogress94
#5
Chapter 2: Even though the story is already completed, I'm still going to comment every few chapters. As an author I know how helpful feedback is!
First off, I don't think I caught any grammar or spelling mistakes in the last 2 chapters except for in Minho's POV in Chapter 1. You typed "Ewe, in a public restroom?" for Key's dialogue. "Ewe", spelled E-W-E, is a female sheep. Suggestions for the future or if you want to change it~ "Gross", "Nasty", "Disgusting", or simply "Ew"(sorry if I come across as a know-it-all, I don't try to XD). The only questionable thing is in the first sentence of Onew's POV in Chapter 2 you put "Her drooling words". Obviously I'm not all-knowing (who is, right?) so just because I don't know what that means doesn't mean it's wrong. Do you mean she's actually drooling? Could you clarify? I might want to use that word/phrase in the future, but I'd want to use it correctly! :3
Okay, now to the second point! Your word choice, which I mean by everything like your descriptions/imagery (like how the mansion was described during Key's POV in Captper 1; I don't know about you but writing the detailed descriptions is always the most tedious part of writing the story for me, so I applaud you! :D) to using words other than "said" for dialogue (one of my biggest fanfic pet peeves is when I find a story that has an amazing foreward, then I go to the first chapter and the whole thing is in "'Blah blah blah' said ___" format. Therefore, I really appreciate how you used things like *checks story quickly* "smiled"/"laughed"/"carried on"/etc.) That's really all I have to say on this point.
Point #3~ Sentence structure and segways/transitions between sentences and POVs! Over all in these first two chapters I'd give the sentence structure an 8.5/10. Some of the sentences just seemed a bit choppy. Like in Carolyn's POV in chapter 2 she says/thinks "Most people would've called it gay. I found it utterly attractive." The way they are now at the end of the paragraph they just
writerinprogress94
#6
I can't wait to read this! I listened to the piano cover while I read the opening and I swear I could actually see the whole thing! I can't wait to finish this story and head over to the sequel!
KhKheiselle0901 #7
Chapter 135: Welcome XD :D i just love this story..
EvrydayIsaShiningDay #8
Chapter 135: okay can i just say i was really confused when i saw that this was updates. xD same goes for the sequal. xD
danlyy
#9
That closure is so sad for minho...I suspect its Brianna who's become a black and red girl:/
CookieDookie #10
Ooh sequel :D
Can't wait ~