Cheer Up

A Fangirl's Dream

*Taemin’s POV*

“Great!” shouted the photographer as he snapped another photo. “Now make it look like you’re spinning around happily, holding each other by the hands… yes! That’s it! Now smile… Taemin smile!”

I forced another painful smile across my face, wishing for the shoot to be over. Wearing couple shirts for a photo shoot with Elizabeth made me feel like I was cheating on Carolyn. A sickening black pit of guilt formed in my stomach, making the effort to curl my mouth upwards into a smile even more of a burden.

“Okay, now kiss her on the cheek, and then Elizabeth you have to look surprised but happy at the same time.”

I looked at her, and an understanding passed between us. She knew this was hard for me and I knew she felt bad. We silently agreed to just get it over with. I gently planted my lips onto her soft cheek.

 “Great! Now try putting a hand up to your face Elizabeth, and kick up your right foot... Yes! That’s it!”

Elizabeth did as she was told immediately, trying to hurry through this. We were both uncomfortable with the situation; it was evident.

*Brianna’s POV*

“I wonder how Carolyn’s doing…” I said; half asking Key and half stating to myself.

“Well we left with her on a good note, so she’s probably only getting better,” Key answered, slipping an arm around my shoulders.

“But I still can’t help but worry. Poor Carolyn… she must be so bored and upset that she can’t be here… Hey!” I exclaimed as an idea popped into my head. “Let’s take a picture together and send it to her saying we miss her and hope she’s doing well!”

“Sounds like a plan,” Key smiled and got ready for the picture as I took out my phone and held it out in front of us. “Let’s make a heart!”

I put one of my cupped hands up to his, forming a cute heart. We put on sad puppy faces to emphasize our sadness. I took multiple pictures until we finally had one we liked (Key was turning me into more of a diva everyday).

“Send!” I thought out loud as I hit the button and the picture message was on its way to Carolyn. “I’m so glad we could as least do SOMETHING for her,” I said, this time to Key.

“I know; I feel so bad for her… and Taemin. I’m really worried about him. Carolyn is strong and I know she can pull through this, but Taemin… he cares about her so much. Is it just me or has he lost a lot of weight?”

“No, you’re right,” I answered, looking over in the direction of Taemin and Elizabeth posing for their pictures. “I don’t think he’s eaten since the accident.”

“We should surprise him and take him to dinner!” Key suggested.

“Who are you taking to dinner?” We both turned around to see Rebecca and Onew walking toward us, hand-in-hand. “Cause I could really go for some chicken rigatoni,” Rebecca finished.

“What’s that?” Onew questioned, looking at her with interest. 

“It’s this really great Italian dish. It’s pasta and chicken-,”

“Say no more!” Onew stopped her at the sound of the word. “We’re totally going to have Italian tonight. I have to try this! It’s chicken!”

“Well, we were planning on surprising Taemin by taking him out to dinner, but Italian would be good I think,” Key spoke up. “He could at least eat the noodles.”

“Good point,” I agreed.

“Should we go tell the others?” Rebecca asked.

“Good idea. We’ll take care of Nicole and Minho while you take care of Jonghyun and… her,” I said. I still had feelings of dislike for Annie from when she tried to steal Key away from me.

“Okay, let’s go,” Onew said, pulling Rebecca away with him.

“I’m so glad they’re finally together,” Key remarked as we made our way toward Minho and Nicole.

“Who?” I asked.

“Onew and Rebecca; I’ve never seen Onew this happy before. He hides a lot of his emotions, but I -being Almighty Key- can read him like a book. He’s been really sad for the past few months, but now he just seems to be-,”

“Shining?” I smiled up at him.

“Yes, shining,” he smiled back.  

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Woobear27
Just letting those of you who are wondering that YES there WILL be a sequal to this story^.^ I am in the process of writing it right now!

Comments

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EHhyung
#1
Really nice story and I really love it so much
sinebright1095 #2
I love it :)
writerinprogress94
#3
Chapter 6: Second review of the day! Let's do this! Chapters 3-6, woo! (And this is why I shouldn't have caffine...)
I don't think I caught any spelling or grammar errors in the last 4 chapters. There might have been a few places where the wrong punctuation sign was used, but other than that, 9.5/10 on grammar and spelling.
I feel like there wasn't as much description in the last four chapters, but there was definately more dialogue so it balanced out. 8.5/10 on word choice.
Your sentence structure was still a bit choppy in places, but your transitions were flawless. You moved very smoothly from one chapter or POV to another. 9/10 on sentence structure and transitions.
The characters are filling out very nicely! 9/10
Continuation value?
...
...
... 80/100 :D
Now on to the next chapter!
writerinprogress94
#4
Chapter 2: seem a bit choppy. Maybe if they were combined...? Your transitions between ideas, paragraphs, and POVs were all "Sipjeom Manjeome Sipjeom!(10 out of 10)" Yay for 2PM reference :D
Dear lord, I've had to split this into 2 comments XP Me and my rambling...
Point #4~ Charcters! Any writer who's tried to write several OC's at once can appreciate the difficulty of having to give them each their own unique persona without making them a Mary-Sue. Even though by chapter two I've only seen your OC's a bit, they're all distinguishable from each other. I also think you're doing great on SHINee's POV's, too!
Final point~ Continuation value? (I believe I made up this phrase, but feel free to use it as long as you credit me XD)
In many longer stories, if by around the 5th to 10th I'm not enjoying it or interested for whatever reason, I'll stop reading. Your story, by chapter 2, is already at a 70/100 (which can drop or go up. I can already tell, though, that it'll be at least a 90/100 by the end!)
That's all until my next review! If these long reviews bother you, tell me and I'll shorten them :3
writerinprogress94
#5
Chapter 2: Even though the story is already completed, I'm still going to comment every few chapters. As an author I know how helpful feedback is!
First off, I don't think I caught any grammar or spelling mistakes in the last 2 chapters except for in Minho's POV in Chapter 1. You typed "Ewe, in a public restroom?" for Key's dialogue. "Ewe", spelled E-W-E, is a female sheep. Suggestions for the future or if you want to change it~ "Gross", "Nasty", "Disgusting", or simply "Ew"(sorry if I come across as a know-it-all, I don't try to XD). The only questionable thing is in the first sentence of Onew's POV in Chapter 2 you put "Her drooling words". Obviously I'm not all-knowing (who is, right?) so just because I don't know what that means doesn't mean it's wrong. Do you mean she's actually drooling? Could you clarify? I might want to use that word/phrase in the future, but I'd want to use it correctly! :3
Okay, now to the second point! Your word choice, which I mean by everything like your descriptions/imagery (like how the mansion was described during Key's POV in Captper 1; I don't know about you but writing the detailed descriptions is always the most tedious part of writing the story for me, so I applaud you! :D) to using words other than "said" for dialogue (one of my biggest fanfic pet peeves is when I find a story that has an amazing foreward, then I go to the first chapter and the whole thing is in "'Blah blah blah' said ___" format. Therefore, I really appreciate how you used things like *checks story quickly* "smiled"/"laughed"/"carried on"/etc.) That's really all I have to say on this point.
Point #3~ Sentence structure and segways/transitions between sentences and POVs! Over all in these first two chapters I'd give the sentence structure an 8.5/10. Some of the sentences just seemed a bit choppy. Like in Carolyn's POV in chapter 2 she says/thinks "Most people would've called it gay. I found it utterly attractive." The way they are now at the end of the paragraph they just
writerinprogress94
#6
I can't wait to read this! I listened to the piano cover while I read the opening and I swear I could actually see the whole thing! I can't wait to finish this story and head over to the sequel!
KhKheiselle0901 #7
Chapter 135: Welcome XD :D i just love this story..
EvrydayIsaShiningDay #8
Chapter 135: okay can i just say i was really confused when i saw that this was updates. xD same goes for the sequal. xD
danlyy
#9
That closure is so sad for minho...I suspect its Brianna who's become a black and red girl:/
CookieDookie #10
Ooh sequel :D
Can't wait ~