Polaris

A Fangirl's Dream

*Jonghyun’s POV*

“Ugh, I’m sooo full,” Taemin groaned, pushing his plate away and rubbing his belly.

“You only had about FIVE helpings!” Key exclaimed.

“Well it was goooooood,” Taemin whined.

“It’s okay,” Carolyn smiled and leaned over in her wheelchair to pinch Taemin’s cheeks. “You’ve gotta get some meat on those bones anyway! You make me feel fat!"

“I hear that,” Annie agreed, looking at her stomach. “I felt so proud because I lost weight, and then I see you and… ugh,” she shook her head in frustration.

“Nobody here is fat,” I said, taking Annie’s hand in mine. “Especially not any of you girls. You all look very nice.”

“Well would you look at Jjong being all manly!” Nicole said, raising an eyebrow.

“Compliments can be taken back,” I threatened.

“You’re very good at being manly,” Nicole said quickly.

“That’s what I thought,” I smirked.

“Brianna, since you and Key did all the cooking, Onew and I will clean up,” Rebecca said, getting up from the table to collect the dirty dishes.

I raised an eyebrow at Onew who sighed. He looked up at me and shrugged like “What-Can-I-Do?-I-Have-A-Productive-Girlfriend.” I gave him a smile –half to mock him and half out of pity- before getting up from the table myself.

“Well, thank you again for dinner,” I bowed toward Key and Brianna who smiled, saying “chunmaneyo” in reply.

The group of us (minus Onew and Rebecca who were working hard in the kitchen) headed to the living room for a video night. I, however, had other plans and grabbed Annie by the arm just before we entered the living room.

“I want to show you something,” I whispered in her ear before dragging her down the hall toward the stairs.

“What is it?” she asked curiously (I’m so curious, yeah~! Sorry guys, I had to) as I lead her up the stairs.

I just smiled and kept going on in silence. When we got to my room she began to get nervous.

“Um, Jonghyun… there’s things I might not be ready to see-,”

“You scared?” I smirked.

“Um, a little,” she replied timidly.

“Well don’t be,” I laughed. “We’re not doing anything along those lines. What I want to show you takes place outside.”

“Then why are we in your room?” she asked.

I answered by leading her to the window on the far side of my room, which opened onto the porch roof. After opening the window and removing the screen, I began to climb through the opening.

“Jonghyun!” she exclaimed, pulling on my hand.

“What?” I smiled, peeking back in to look at her.

“We can’t go on the roof!”

“Who says?” I winked. “Now come on.”

After a moment of contemplation Annie finally allowed herself to be led out the upstairs window.

“Now be careful,” I warned as she climbed onto the roof.

“I am not letting go of your hand!”

“That’s fine with me.”

We made our way toward the end of the roof where it met up with a slope onto the second floor roof. I helped her up the slope and then another until we were standing on the roof of the third floor.

“Ohhh, Jonghyun I’m scared!” she cried, holding tight to my arm.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you,” I laughed, putting an arm around her. “Now look up.”

*Annie’s POV*

I looked up to see a million twinkling lights overhead. Constellations were painted across the night sky along with thousands of mismatched stars belong to patterns unknown to me.

“See that bright one there?” Jonghyun asked, pointing to a large star shining very brightly. “That’s the North Star. You can find it by finding the Big Dipper and drawing a straight line from the two end stars. Do you see it?”

“Yes!” I exclaimed excitedly as I followed his directions.

“Only us people in the northern hemisphere can see Polaris- that’s it real name,” he explained.

“That’s so cool!” I said, still in awe.

“When you see it, I want you to think of me.”

I turned to face Jonghyun. He had a soft, delicate expression on his face.

“I always will,” I answered, taking his hand. “Every night.”

A tear glistened in the light of the moon as it ran down his cheek. The sight stung at my heart.

“Jonghyun, don’t cry,” I whispered as I whipped away the tear.

“I’m sorry; I just… I don’t want to leave you. You’re an amazing person and-,”

“Shouldn’t I be the one saying this?” I laughed. “You saved me Jonghyun. You saved me from Key. I’ll never love anyone besides you.”

“But being apart is going to be so hard-,” He was suddenly interrupted by his phone ringing in his pocket. “Gah, hold on.”

He reached in his pocket and flipped open his phone to read the text. I saw his face drop and he lowered the phone, staring at nothing in particular.

“What is it?” I asked in concern, but he didn’t answer right away. “Jonghyun, what is it?!”

He looked at me in a dazed state, but finally managed to speak.

“It’s Vanessa. She’s coming back.”

 

 

*100 chapters! OMO guys... I can't believe it! I just want to say thank you for all your support. You're what's helped me get this far and I couldn't have done it without your feedback ^.^ I love you all! And dang it, I just have to say that I had a heck of a time picking out a pic for this chapter. I see Jonghyun as the guy that would be my best friend if I got to know SHINee, but when I was looking through the pictures I realized that HE'S SO DARN HOT! Like idk, I just got out of a Key phase and now this? Aigoo, someone please hit me with some Dubu spam xD But anyway, I again just want to thank you for your love and support. Though the ending is in sight, there's still many more surprises and cliff hangers. Some of these, however, you may not be able to find out in this specific story... *hint hint* c; Yes, I'm officially announcing that I've been planning on writing a sequal for some time now. I can't promise immediate results, but I will work my hardest and get it out as soon as I can. Please love and support my second story, and I hope you enjoy it and are currently enjoying this one currently! Love you all soooo much^.^ <3 Kamsahamnida!

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Woobear27
Just letting those of you who are wondering that YES there WILL be a sequal to this story^.^ I am in the process of writing it right now!

Comments

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EHhyung
#1
Really nice story and I really love it so much
sinebright1095 #2
I love it :)
writerinprogress94
#3
Chapter 6: Second review of the day! Let's do this! Chapters 3-6, woo! (And this is why I shouldn't have caffine...)
I don't think I caught any spelling or grammar errors in the last 4 chapters. There might have been a few places where the wrong punctuation sign was used, but other than that, 9.5/10 on grammar and spelling.
I feel like there wasn't as much description in the last four chapters, but there was definately more dialogue so it balanced out. 8.5/10 on word choice.
Your sentence structure was still a bit choppy in places, but your transitions were flawless. You moved very smoothly from one chapter or POV to another. 9/10 on sentence structure and transitions.
The characters are filling out very nicely! 9/10
Continuation value?
...
...
... 80/100 :D
Now on to the next chapter!
writerinprogress94
#4
Chapter 2: seem a bit choppy. Maybe if they were combined...? Your transitions between ideas, paragraphs, and POVs were all "Sipjeom Manjeome Sipjeom!(10 out of 10)" Yay for 2PM reference :D
Dear lord, I've had to split this into 2 comments XP Me and my rambling...
Point #4~ Charcters! Any writer who's tried to write several OC's at once can appreciate the difficulty of having to give them each their own unique persona without making them a Mary-Sue. Even though by chapter two I've only seen your OC's a bit, they're all distinguishable from each other. I also think you're doing great on SHINee's POV's, too!
Final point~ Continuation value? (I believe I made up this phrase, but feel free to use it as long as you credit me XD)
In many longer stories, if by around the 5th to 10th I'm not enjoying it or interested for whatever reason, I'll stop reading. Your story, by chapter 2, is already at a 70/100 (which can drop or go up. I can already tell, though, that it'll be at least a 90/100 by the end!)
That's all until my next review! If these long reviews bother you, tell me and I'll shorten them :3
writerinprogress94
#5
Chapter 2: Even though the story is already completed, I'm still going to comment every few chapters. As an author I know how helpful feedback is!
First off, I don't think I caught any grammar or spelling mistakes in the last 2 chapters except for in Minho's POV in Chapter 1. You typed "Ewe, in a public restroom?" for Key's dialogue. "Ewe", spelled E-W-E, is a female sheep. Suggestions for the future or if you want to change it~ "Gross", "Nasty", "Disgusting", or simply "Ew"(sorry if I come across as a know-it-all, I don't try to XD). The only questionable thing is in the first sentence of Onew's POV in Chapter 2 you put "Her drooling words". Obviously I'm not all-knowing (who is, right?) so just because I don't know what that means doesn't mean it's wrong. Do you mean she's actually drooling? Could you clarify? I might want to use that word/phrase in the future, but I'd want to use it correctly! :3
Okay, now to the second point! Your word choice, which I mean by everything like your descriptions/imagery (like how the mansion was described during Key's POV in Captper 1; I don't know about you but writing the detailed descriptions is always the most tedious part of writing the story for me, so I applaud you! :D) to using words other than "said" for dialogue (one of my biggest fanfic pet peeves is when I find a story that has an amazing foreward, then I go to the first chapter and the whole thing is in "'Blah blah blah' said ___" format. Therefore, I really appreciate how you used things like *checks story quickly* "smiled"/"laughed"/"carried on"/etc.) That's really all I have to say on this point.
Point #3~ Sentence structure and segways/transitions between sentences and POVs! Over all in these first two chapters I'd give the sentence structure an 8.5/10. Some of the sentences just seemed a bit choppy. Like in Carolyn's POV in chapter 2 she says/thinks "Most people would've called it gay. I found it utterly attractive." The way they are now at the end of the paragraph they just
writerinprogress94
#6
I can't wait to read this! I listened to the piano cover while I read the opening and I swear I could actually see the whole thing! I can't wait to finish this story and head over to the sequel!
KhKheiselle0901 #7
Chapter 135: Welcome XD :D i just love this story..
EvrydayIsaShiningDay #8
Chapter 135: okay can i just say i was really confused when i saw that this was updates. xD same goes for the sequal. xD
danlyy
#9
That closure is so sad for minho...I suspect its Brianna who's become a black and red girl:/
CookieDookie #10
Ooh sequel :D
Can't wait ~