Chasing Wishes

A Fangirl's Dream

*Nicole’s POV*

“Minho!” I shouted as he, along with Jonghyun and the manager, came walking out of the woods.

Minho actually wasn’t walking. He was sleeping in Jonghyun’s arms. It kind of scared me at first because it made Minho look fragile; weak. It was weird to see him like that. However it didn’t stop me.

“Minho!” I shouted in his face, waking him up.

Jonghyun set him on the ground once he was fully awake.

He smiled at me groggily, “Hey bab-,”

“What the heck were you thinking?!” I screamed. “You almost scared me to death! How could you put me through that; thinking you were hurt or possibly… possibly-,”

In the blink of an eye I was in his arms; his lips smacking furiously against my own.

“Just shut up,” he said, through our kisses.

Instead of a smart comment, I just wrapped my arms around his neck. My baby was safe, and that’s all I cared about.

*Taemin’s POV*

I didn’t understand why the girls had been so worried; of course we were coming back! I didn’t say anything though, because I loved the feel of Carolyn’s hand in mine. She stayed close to me while we talked and exchanged stories, never once leaving my side.

After things died down we decided it was time to head back to our own camps. Thankfully the manager had set up glow-in-the-dark trail markers between the camps, each being the color of the camp it led to.

Carolyn and I walked hand-in-hand down the yellow lit path. My eyes scanned the beautiful view around us. Multicolored lights from other trails danced between the trees, while lightning bugs assisted in brightening our way. The moon occasionally peaked its way through the canopy above us, casting more light down upon the romantic atmosphere.

“You know, I think this is the first time I’m not afraid of being in the dark,” Carolyn said quietly, so as not to break the beautiful moment.

“Why is that?” I asked.

“Because it’s beautiful, and I have you.”

I squeezed her hand and kissed her on the cheek.

We continued walking in silence. A few minutes later I heard a sniffle come from my yeoja chingu. I looked over to see a tear on her cheek, glistening in the yellow tinted light.

“Yebo, what’s wrong?” I asked.

She looked up at me. Her eyes were glossy so I knew she must’ve been crying.

“We only have a month and a half left together,” she whispered. “I don’t want you to leave me.”

“Oh Carolyn…”

I tried to think of something comforting to tell her, but what was there to say? We both knew I couldn’t stay, and visiting just wouldn’t be the same. The fact was: We’d eventually have to breakup.

“Let’s just not think about it, okay? These past five weeks with you have surely been the best weeks of my life. Let’s make the last five weeks just as enjoyable, if not even better!” It was all I could think to say.

“Okay Oppa,” she squeaked, trying to stop her tears and regain control of her emotions. “I’ll try to be strong for you.”

“That’s my aga,” I smiled. “Hey let’s catch some fireflies! We don’t see them that often in Korea. We can put them in this,” I held up the empty water bottle in my hand which I’d gotten from Minho’s campsite before we left (it was obviously full when I took it, but a man’s gotta hydrate!).

“Okay Oppa!” she smiled at me. “But my family doesn’t call them fireflies; we call them wishes, because every time you catch once you have to make a wish! But it won’t come true until you release them!”

“Then we better not forget to set them free when we’re done!”

Carolyn was the first to catch one of the light-up-bugs. She closed her eyes and I listened hard as she mumbled her wish under her breath.

“I wish that Taeminnie Oppa could stay forever.”

Her words made me smile.

“Here Oppa, put it in the water bottle, quick!”

I opened the lid to the bottle and the dumped the little bug inside. I watched as he flew around inside the plastic, amazed by his little light switching on and off.

“Teach me how to catch them Carolyn!” I exclaimed, setting down the water bottle.

We spent the night, chasing after wishes. 

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Woobear27
Just letting those of you who are wondering that YES there WILL be a sequal to this story^.^ I am in the process of writing it right now!

Comments

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EHhyung
#1
Really nice story and I really love it so much
sinebright1095 #2
I love it :)
writerinprogress94
#3
Chapter 6: Second review of the day! Let's do this! Chapters 3-6, woo! (And this is why I shouldn't have caffine...)
I don't think I caught any spelling or grammar errors in the last 4 chapters. There might have been a few places where the wrong punctuation sign was used, but other than that, 9.5/10 on grammar and spelling.
I feel like there wasn't as much description in the last four chapters, but there was definately more dialogue so it balanced out. 8.5/10 on word choice.
Your sentence structure was still a bit choppy in places, but your transitions were flawless. You moved very smoothly from one chapter or POV to another. 9/10 on sentence structure and transitions.
The characters are filling out very nicely! 9/10
Continuation value?
...
...
... 80/100 :D
Now on to the next chapter!
writerinprogress94
#4
Chapter 2: seem a bit choppy. Maybe if they were combined...? Your transitions between ideas, paragraphs, and POVs were all "Sipjeom Manjeome Sipjeom!(10 out of 10)" Yay for 2PM reference :D
Dear lord, I've had to split this into 2 comments XP Me and my rambling...
Point #4~ Charcters! Any writer who's tried to write several OC's at once can appreciate the difficulty of having to give them each their own unique persona without making them a Mary-Sue. Even though by chapter two I've only seen your OC's a bit, they're all distinguishable from each other. I also think you're doing great on SHINee's POV's, too!
Final point~ Continuation value? (I believe I made up this phrase, but feel free to use it as long as you credit me XD)
In many longer stories, if by around the 5th to 10th I'm not enjoying it or interested for whatever reason, I'll stop reading. Your story, by chapter 2, is already at a 70/100 (which can drop or go up. I can already tell, though, that it'll be at least a 90/100 by the end!)
That's all until my next review! If these long reviews bother you, tell me and I'll shorten them :3
writerinprogress94
#5
Chapter 2: Even though the story is already completed, I'm still going to comment every few chapters. As an author I know how helpful feedback is!
First off, I don't think I caught any grammar or spelling mistakes in the last 2 chapters except for in Minho's POV in Chapter 1. You typed "Ewe, in a public restroom?" for Key's dialogue. "Ewe", spelled E-W-E, is a female sheep. Suggestions for the future or if you want to change it~ "Gross", "Nasty", "Disgusting", or simply "Ew"(sorry if I come across as a know-it-all, I don't try to XD). The only questionable thing is in the first sentence of Onew's POV in Chapter 2 you put "Her drooling words". Obviously I'm not all-knowing (who is, right?) so just because I don't know what that means doesn't mean it's wrong. Do you mean she's actually drooling? Could you clarify? I might want to use that word/phrase in the future, but I'd want to use it correctly! :3
Okay, now to the second point! Your word choice, which I mean by everything like your descriptions/imagery (like how the mansion was described during Key's POV in Captper 1; I don't know about you but writing the detailed descriptions is always the most tedious part of writing the story for me, so I applaud you! :D) to using words other than "said" for dialogue (one of my biggest fanfic pet peeves is when I find a story that has an amazing foreward, then I go to the first chapter and the whole thing is in "'Blah blah blah' said ___" format. Therefore, I really appreciate how you used things like *checks story quickly* "smiled"/"laughed"/"carried on"/etc.) That's really all I have to say on this point.
Point #3~ Sentence structure and segways/transitions between sentences and POVs! Over all in these first two chapters I'd give the sentence structure an 8.5/10. Some of the sentences just seemed a bit choppy. Like in Carolyn's POV in chapter 2 she says/thinks "Most people would've called it gay. I found it utterly attractive." The way they are now at the end of the paragraph they just
writerinprogress94
#6
I can't wait to read this! I listened to the piano cover while I read the opening and I swear I could actually see the whole thing! I can't wait to finish this story and head over to the sequel!
KhKheiselle0901 #7
Chapter 135: Welcome XD :D i just love this story..
EvrydayIsaShiningDay #8
Chapter 135: okay can i just say i was really confused when i saw that this was updates. xD same goes for the sequal. xD
danlyy
#9
That closure is so sad for minho...I suspect its Brianna who's become a black and red girl:/
CookieDookie #10
Ooh sequel :D
Can't wait ~