Getting To Know You (Jjong and Nicole)

A Fangirl's Dream

*Minho’s POV*

This girl was beautiful. I wanted to talk to her; find out more about her; but all I could do was stand there awkwardly.

*Rebecca’s POV*

Is he going to say something? Crap; maybe he’s shy too! I’m so bad around shy guys. Why’d I fall for a shy guy?!

“Um, hi,” I finally said quietly, not daring to make eye contact with those beautiful brown orbs staring back at me. I was so scared. When I was around my friends I could talk to guys no problem. When I was alone it was harder. It was easy when the guy was talkative, but when he was quiet like this; I didn’t have a chance.

“Hi; I’m Minho,” he answered back.

“Your voice is really deep!” I said, immediately wishing I didn’t. I blushed and turned to hide my face. “I mean, like, I like it. No! I mean, it sounds… You must have a nice singing voice.” I just wanted to jump in a hole and be buried alive. I felt tears stinging the edges of my eyes.

Gosh, Becca; why are you always so emotional?!

“Haha, it’s okay,” He smiled, resting a hand on my shoulder. “Thank you.”

I looked up at him. Gosh this guy was so sweet!

I really hope we get paired up together. Gosh, I really hope we do.

“Wanna take a walk?”

I bit my bottom lip to hide my smile. All I could do was nod, and we began our stroll through the garden, side by side.

*Jonghyun’s POV*

“Sit there.”

I sat on the cushioned chair, just as Nicole had directed me to. It was awfully soon for me to already be in her room.

“I’m going to go change. I swear if you even dare to peak…”

“Don’t worry. I’m glued to the spot. Hurry back,” I winked at her. She just rolled her eyes and shut herself in her walk-in closet.

*Nicole’s POV*

Why is my heart beating so fast? Do I actually like this guy? No; I can’t! I’m Nicole Fayner; Queen of the Frickin s! There’s no way I can actually fall for a guy; NO WAY. Now… what to wear…

I searched through my closet for something that would make Jonghyun like me, but nothing that made it look to obvious. I didn’t want him to think I was that easy.

I finally decided on a red tank top and white cutoffs. When I walked out of the closet Jonghyun was still where I had left him, but his mouth had dropped open when he saw me.

I rolled my eyes and he quickly closed his mouth. I was back and better than ever. Now I just needed to last until I became famous…

“Wow, you look- look…” His stuttering was adorable. But I couldn’t let it show.

“Whatever. Gawsh, will you stop staring at me?! Here do a puzzle or something.” I grabbed a puzzle box off my bookcase and threw it at him. I then walked over to my desk in the corner, and logged onto my laptop.

*Jonghyun’s POV*

I tried to focus on the puzzle, but my eyes kept wandering over to where Nicole was sitting. She was a stuck up brat, but gosh was she HOT! I had seen her type before. I had conquered her type before.

I got up from the floor and silently walked over to Nicole. I stood behind her, watching as she surfed the internet. I bent down next to her and whispered in her ear, “You’re missing a piece of the puzzle.”

“What the-,” she whipped around and came face to face with me.

We were just inches apart. I saw a scared look pass over her face. It lasted less than a second, but I had seen it. I was winning at this game.

“You scared?” I whispered as a smirk spread across my face.

“You’re the one that should be scared,” she snapped back, but I could hear a tinge of uncertainty in her voice.

I moved my face closer to hers. Closer… closer… Her eyes began to close. Just as our lips were about to touch…

*Nicole’s POV*

You’re Nicole Fayner! Nicole Fayner. Nicole… And I think Nicole Fayner has finally fallen for a guy…

I held my eyes shut, waiting for his lips to meet mine. My heart was beating wildly inside my chest. I waited… and waited… and waited… When I opened my eyes Jonghyun was… gone? I looked around the room to see him back on the floor working on his puzzle.

He looked up at me. “What?” He put on an innocent face and smiled crookedly at me.

I stuck my tongue out at him, then turned back to face my computer. I wiped away the tear running down my cheek. 

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Woobear27
Just letting those of you who are wondering that YES there WILL be a sequal to this story^.^ I am in the process of writing it right now!

Comments

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EHhyung
#1
Really nice story and I really love it so much
sinebright1095 #2
I love it :)
writerinprogress94
#3
Chapter 6: Second review of the day! Let's do this! Chapters 3-6, woo! (And this is why I shouldn't have caffine...)
I don't think I caught any spelling or grammar errors in the last 4 chapters. There might have been a few places where the wrong punctuation sign was used, but other than that, 9.5/10 on grammar and spelling.
I feel like there wasn't as much description in the last four chapters, but there was definately more dialogue so it balanced out. 8.5/10 on word choice.
Your sentence structure was still a bit choppy in places, but your transitions were flawless. You moved very smoothly from one chapter or POV to another. 9/10 on sentence structure and transitions.
The characters are filling out very nicely! 9/10
Continuation value?
...
...
... 80/100 :D
Now on to the next chapter!
writerinprogress94
#4
Chapter 2: seem a bit choppy. Maybe if they were combined...? Your transitions between ideas, paragraphs, and POVs were all "Sipjeom Manjeome Sipjeom!(10 out of 10)" Yay for 2PM reference :D
Dear lord, I've had to split this into 2 comments XP Me and my rambling...
Point #4~ Charcters! Any writer who's tried to write several OC's at once can appreciate the difficulty of having to give them each their own unique persona without making them a Mary-Sue. Even though by chapter two I've only seen your OC's a bit, they're all distinguishable from each other. I also think you're doing great on SHINee's POV's, too!
Final point~ Continuation value? (I believe I made up this phrase, but feel free to use it as long as you credit me XD)
In many longer stories, if by around the 5th to 10th I'm not enjoying it or interested for whatever reason, I'll stop reading. Your story, by chapter 2, is already at a 70/100 (which can drop or go up. I can already tell, though, that it'll be at least a 90/100 by the end!)
That's all until my next review! If these long reviews bother you, tell me and I'll shorten them :3
writerinprogress94
#5
Chapter 2: Even though the story is already completed, I'm still going to comment every few chapters. As an author I know how helpful feedback is!
First off, I don't think I caught any grammar or spelling mistakes in the last 2 chapters except for in Minho's POV in Chapter 1. You typed "Ewe, in a public restroom?" for Key's dialogue. "Ewe", spelled E-W-E, is a female sheep. Suggestions for the future or if you want to change it~ "Gross", "Nasty", "Disgusting", or simply "Ew"(sorry if I come across as a know-it-all, I don't try to XD). The only questionable thing is in the first sentence of Onew's POV in Chapter 2 you put "Her drooling words". Obviously I'm not all-knowing (who is, right?) so just because I don't know what that means doesn't mean it's wrong. Do you mean she's actually drooling? Could you clarify? I might want to use that word/phrase in the future, but I'd want to use it correctly! :3
Okay, now to the second point! Your word choice, which I mean by everything like your descriptions/imagery (like how the mansion was described during Key's POV in Captper 1; I don't know about you but writing the detailed descriptions is always the most tedious part of writing the story for me, so I applaud you! :D) to using words other than "said" for dialogue (one of my biggest fanfic pet peeves is when I find a story that has an amazing foreward, then I go to the first chapter and the whole thing is in "'Blah blah blah' said ___" format. Therefore, I really appreciate how you used things like *checks story quickly* "smiled"/"laughed"/"carried on"/etc.) That's really all I have to say on this point.
Point #3~ Sentence structure and segways/transitions between sentences and POVs! Over all in these first two chapters I'd give the sentence structure an 8.5/10. Some of the sentences just seemed a bit choppy. Like in Carolyn's POV in chapter 2 she says/thinks "Most people would've called it gay. I found it utterly attractive." The way they are now at the end of the paragraph they just
writerinprogress94
#6
I can't wait to read this! I listened to the piano cover while I read the opening and I swear I could actually see the whole thing! I can't wait to finish this story and head over to the sequel!
KhKheiselle0901 #7
Chapter 135: Welcome XD :D i just love this story..
EvrydayIsaShiningDay #8
Chapter 135: okay can i just say i was really confused when i saw that this was updates. xD same goes for the sequal. xD
danlyy
#9
That closure is so sad for minho...I suspect its Brianna who's become a black and red girl:/
CookieDookie #10
Ooh sequel :D
Can't wait ~