Forgiveness

A Fangirl's Dream

*Carolyn’s POV*

“Taemin slow downnnn!” I called after him.

“Can’t,” he called over his shoulder. “Have to… beat… hyungs!”

I rolled my eyes as I jogged along behind him, panting like crazy. I loved my Tae, but sometimes he just had too much energy for me.

“Taemin, please?!” I called.

Finally he stopped and turned to face me.

“I’m sorry Carolyn,” he blushed. “How about you go back to the tree and wait for me there?”

“Aw but I don’t want to make you do all the work-,”

“Nonsense; it is not work at all!”

I laughed at my cute boyfriend, kissed him, then waved goodbye as I started back to the big tree.

---------------------------- 

“What are you doing here?” I heard a familiar voice ask me as I stepped into the clearing where the big tree could be found.

I looked up to see the manager and Nicole sitting under the tree. She looked just as surprised as I was.

“Taemin told me I could just wait for him here,” I explained, taking a seat next to Nicole.

“Yeah, that’s what Minho told me to do too,” Nicole said. “I’ve been stuck listening to this guy snoring.”

She motioned toward the manager. His eyes were closed and his mouth was hanging wide open, a bit of drool was hanging off the side of his mouth. As if on cue he left out a deep snort.

“Bahahaha!” we both burst out laughing, but stopped when we realized what was going on. We turned away from each other at the same time.

We sat in a moment of silence until Nicole finally spoke.

“I’m sorry.”

I was so taken off guard by her remark that I almost thought I’d imagined it. I whipped around to look at her, but sure enough she had an apologetic look on her face.

“You’re sorry?” I asked, still unsure I’d heard her correctly.

“Yes. I… gosh this is hard for me.” She took a deep breathe before continuing. “I don’t want to be enemies with you guys anymore. I know I don’t deserve your friendship at all, but I just… Minho has changed me. He showed me that love isn’t a bad thing; that people deserve to be loved. I guess I just tried to break all you guys up because I was jealous. I’d never experienced that kind of relationship, so I didn’t want anyone else to either. I just want you to know that I’m sorry, and I mean it from the bottom of my heart. I understand if you don’t want to forgive me.”

I looked at her in amazement.

What had Minho done to her? It’s like she’s a new person… a descent person!

“Of course I forgive you,” I replied.

She relaxed as a smile spread across her face, “Oh thank you-,”

“But,” I stopped her. “I don’t know about this whole friendship thing, or how everybody else will take this… especially Taemin.”

“I understand. We can just take it slow by treating each other with respect.”

I smiled at her, “You’re really not all that bad Nicole.”

She smiled back at me, looking truly touched.

“I know we’re not friends, but... you don’t have to be friends to hug, right?”

“I don’t think so,” I smiled.

She smiled back and we embraced.

“I think you’re the first girl I’ve ever talked to without being mean,” she laughed, wiping away small tears from her eyes.

“Really? I think you should do this ‘nice’ thing more often,” I smiled. “It suits you a lot better.”

“I think I’ll try it,” she laughed. “Thank you.”

Minho… you are a hero. 

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Woobear27
Just letting those of you who are wondering that YES there WILL be a sequal to this story^.^ I am in the process of writing it right now!

Comments

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EHhyung
#1
Really nice story and I really love it so much
sinebright1095 #2
I love it :)
writerinprogress94
#3
Chapter 6: Second review of the day! Let's do this! Chapters 3-6, woo! (And this is why I shouldn't have caffine...)
I don't think I caught any spelling or grammar errors in the last 4 chapters. There might have been a few places where the wrong punctuation sign was used, but other than that, 9.5/10 on grammar and spelling.
I feel like there wasn't as much description in the last four chapters, but there was definately more dialogue so it balanced out. 8.5/10 on word choice.
Your sentence structure was still a bit choppy in places, but your transitions were flawless. You moved very smoothly from one chapter or POV to another. 9/10 on sentence structure and transitions.
The characters are filling out very nicely! 9/10
Continuation value?
...
...
... 80/100 :D
Now on to the next chapter!
writerinprogress94
#4
Chapter 2: seem a bit choppy. Maybe if they were combined...? Your transitions between ideas, paragraphs, and POVs were all "Sipjeom Manjeome Sipjeom!(10 out of 10)" Yay for 2PM reference :D
Dear lord, I've had to split this into 2 comments XP Me and my rambling...
Point #4~ Charcters! Any writer who's tried to write several OC's at once can appreciate the difficulty of having to give them each their own unique persona without making them a Mary-Sue. Even though by chapter two I've only seen your OC's a bit, they're all distinguishable from each other. I also think you're doing great on SHINee's POV's, too!
Final point~ Continuation value? (I believe I made up this phrase, but feel free to use it as long as you credit me XD)
In many longer stories, if by around the 5th to 10th I'm not enjoying it or interested for whatever reason, I'll stop reading. Your story, by chapter 2, is already at a 70/100 (which can drop or go up. I can already tell, though, that it'll be at least a 90/100 by the end!)
That's all until my next review! If these long reviews bother you, tell me and I'll shorten them :3
writerinprogress94
#5
Chapter 2: Even though the story is already completed, I'm still going to comment every few chapters. As an author I know how helpful feedback is!
First off, I don't think I caught any grammar or spelling mistakes in the last 2 chapters except for in Minho's POV in Chapter 1. You typed "Ewe, in a public restroom?" for Key's dialogue. "Ewe", spelled E-W-E, is a female sheep. Suggestions for the future or if you want to change it~ "Gross", "Nasty", "Disgusting", or simply "Ew"(sorry if I come across as a know-it-all, I don't try to XD). The only questionable thing is in the first sentence of Onew's POV in Chapter 2 you put "Her drooling words". Obviously I'm not all-knowing (who is, right?) so just because I don't know what that means doesn't mean it's wrong. Do you mean she's actually drooling? Could you clarify? I might want to use that word/phrase in the future, but I'd want to use it correctly! :3
Okay, now to the second point! Your word choice, which I mean by everything like your descriptions/imagery (like how the mansion was described during Key's POV in Captper 1; I don't know about you but writing the detailed descriptions is always the most tedious part of writing the story for me, so I applaud you! :D) to using words other than "said" for dialogue (one of my biggest fanfic pet peeves is when I find a story that has an amazing foreward, then I go to the first chapter and the whole thing is in "'Blah blah blah' said ___" format. Therefore, I really appreciate how you used things like *checks story quickly* "smiled"/"laughed"/"carried on"/etc.) That's really all I have to say on this point.
Point #3~ Sentence structure and segways/transitions between sentences and POVs! Over all in these first two chapters I'd give the sentence structure an 8.5/10. Some of the sentences just seemed a bit choppy. Like in Carolyn's POV in chapter 2 she says/thinks "Most people would've called it gay. I found it utterly attractive." The way they are now at the end of the paragraph they just
writerinprogress94
#6
I can't wait to read this! I listened to the piano cover while I read the opening and I swear I could actually see the whole thing! I can't wait to finish this story and head over to the sequel!
KhKheiselle0901 #7
Chapter 135: Welcome XD :D i just love this story..
EvrydayIsaShiningDay #8
Chapter 135: okay can i just say i was really confused when i saw that this was updates. xD same goes for the sequal. xD
danlyy
#9
That closure is so sad for minho...I suspect its Brianna who's become a black and red girl:/
CookieDookie #10
Ooh sequel :D
Can't wait ~