I'll Always Be By Your Side

A Fangirl's Dream

*Jonghyun’s POV*

I slowly lowered my sunglasses to look at Annie lying on the lounge chair next to me. She was wearing a purple bikini and was trying to catch a few rays before the summer was over. We’d been on the small yacht I’d rented for about an hour now, but seasickness finally seemed to be catching up to me.

I got up and leaned over the side of the boat in case my breakfast decided to come back up and say hi. The waves lapped against the boat while we rocked back and forth, making my stomach continue to churn and my face to turn almost a greenish color.

Suddenly I felt a pair of arms wrap around me. The person rubbed my upset stomach, helping me to relax a little.

“Is this your first time on a boat?” Annie whispered in my ear.

“Y-yeah,” I groaned.

“Aw, you should’ve told me! I would’ve brought some motion sickness pills. Want me to go see if the captain has some?”

“That would be awesome,” I turned to give her a weak smile, but quickly turned back to the water due to the feeling that I was about to puke.

“I’ll be right back.”

I stood there trying to calm myself down, but the sea had total control over me now. My breakfast finally decided to pay the ocean a visit.

I stood there puking and gagging for about a minute, hoping Annie wouldn’t come back to see me like this. How disgusting would it be to see your boyfriend puking over the side of a boat on your last date? I mean, ewe!

“Aw, Jjongie!”

Suddenly Annie was by my side again. She placed a hand on my back while rubbing my stomach with the other.

I shook my head, “No, I don’t want you to see me like this.”

“Don’t be silly. I have to take care of you!”

I had no time to protest as my stomach clenched and I felt another round coming.    

She stood by my side the whole time, comforting me and whispering soothing words in my ear.

When I had finished she left, only to quickly return with a box of tissues. She took out a handful and reached over to wipe my mouth, but I pulled away. I didn’t want her doing that! Aigoo, this was so embarrassing!

“Jjong, let me take care of you!” she demanded.

I immediately stopped and let her wipe my mouth.

“I’m so sorry about this,” I said, turning to face her when I was done. “This was supposed to be our amazing last date and I’ve ruined it-,”

“Shut up and take this,” she said, picking up a pill and glass over water from the side table by the lounge chairs. “It’ll help your stomach.”

I did as she said, watching her the whole time.

“How do you feel?” she asked after she’d helped me lay down on one of the lounge chairs.

“I feel better,” I whispered, closing my eyes.

“Good.” I could feel her presence as she pulled a deck chair over and sat down next to me. Her hand softly caressed my cheek, helping me to relax even more. I opened my eyes to see her smiling down at me.

“What?” I asked with a stupid smile that I couldn’t help.

“You’re just so precious.”

Her words surprised me, but I didn’t have time to answer before she leaned down and kissed my forehead.

“It feels like you’re the one leading the date I had planned,” I laughed.

She giggled as well, sending my head into a spin. “We see who wears the pants in the relationship.”

“What does that mean?” I asked in confusion. My English was much better now, but I still didn’t understand a lot of the saying and jokes.

“Nothing,” she smiled.

“Let me sing to you,” I said after a moment of silence. I motioned for her to come sit on the lounge chair with me and she did so. I wrapped my arms around her and began so sing, brushing my hand across her smooth stomach.

(This is the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zd-165fsPbQ).

*Annie’s POV*

“Notting better, notting better… den you,” his accent was so adorable which made the song even lovelier.

“That was beautiful Jjong,” I whispered when he had finished.

“I meant it too,” he whispered back, giving me a soft kiss on the neck.

“You know,” I said softly, turning to face him. “This date hasn’t been all that bad. In fact, I don’t think I could’ve asked for a better last date.”

“You’re just saying that.”

“Then you were just singing that.”

“Touché.”

“Wow you’re learning! I’m impressed.”

We were face to face now, staring deep into the other’s eyes.

“Well, I had a great teacher,” he smirked.

He was about to plant his lips on mine when I stopped him.

“What’s wrong?” he asked in concern.

“You just puked honey. We’ll kiss after you brush your teeth,” I said, patting him on the chest. He just blushed while I kissed his cheek, then snuggled close against his warm body.

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Woobear27
Just letting those of you who are wondering that YES there WILL be a sequal to this story^.^ I am in the process of writing it right now!

Comments

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EHhyung
#1
Really nice story and I really love it so much
sinebright1095 #2
I love it :)
writerinprogress94
#3
Chapter 6: Second review of the day! Let's do this! Chapters 3-6, woo! (And this is why I shouldn't have caffine...)
I don't think I caught any spelling or grammar errors in the last 4 chapters. There might have been a few places where the wrong punctuation sign was used, but other than that, 9.5/10 on grammar and spelling.
I feel like there wasn't as much description in the last four chapters, but there was definately more dialogue so it balanced out. 8.5/10 on word choice.
Your sentence structure was still a bit choppy in places, but your transitions were flawless. You moved very smoothly from one chapter or POV to another. 9/10 on sentence structure and transitions.
The characters are filling out very nicely! 9/10
Continuation value?
...
...
... 80/100 :D
Now on to the next chapter!
writerinprogress94
#4
Chapter 2: seem a bit choppy. Maybe if they were combined...? Your transitions between ideas, paragraphs, and POVs were all "Sipjeom Manjeome Sipjeom!(10 out of 10)" Yay for 2PM reference :D
Dear lord, I've had to split this into 2 comments XP Me and my rambling...
Point #4~ Charcters! Any writer who's tried to write several OC's at once can appreciate the difficulty of having to give them each their own unique persona without making them a Mary-Sue. Even though by chapter two I've only seen your OC's a bit, they're all distinguishable from each other. I also think you're doing great on SHINee's POV's, too!
Final point~ Continuation value? (I believe I made up this phrase, but feel free to use it as long as you credit me XD)
In many longer stories, if by around the 5th to 10th I'm not enjoying it or interested for whatever reason, I'll stop reading. Your story, by chapter 2, is already at a 70/100 (which can drop or go up. I can already tell, though, that it'll be at least a 90/100 by the end!)
That's all until my next review! If these long reviews bother you, tell me and I'll shorten them :3
writerinprogress94
#5
Chapter 2: Even though the story is already completed, I'm still going to comment every few chapters. As an author I know how helpful feedback is!
First off, I don't think I caught any grammar or spelling mistakes in the last 2 chapters except for in Minho's POV in Chapter 1. You typed "Ewe, in a public restroom?" for Key's dialogue. "Ewe", spelled E-W-E, is a female sheep. Suggestions for the future or if you want to change it~ "Gross", "Nasty", "Disgusting", or simply "Ew"(sorry if I come across as a know-it-all, I don't try to XD). The only questionable thing is in the first sentence of Onew's POV in Chapter 2 you put "Her drooling words". Obviously I'm not all-knowing (who is, right?) so just because I don't know what that means doesn't mean it's wrong. Do you mean she's actually drooling? Could you clarify? I might want to use that word/phrase in the future, but I'd want to use it correctly! :3
Okay, now to the second point! Your word choice, which I mean by everything like your descriptions/imagery (like how the mansion was described during Key's POV in Captper 1; I don't know about you but writing the detailed descriptions is always the most tedious part of writing the story for me, so I applaud you! :D) to using words other than "said" for dialogue (one of my biggest fanfic pet peeves is when I find a story that has an amazing foreward, then I go to the first chapter and the whole thing is in "'Blah blah blah' said ___" format. Therefore, I really appreciate how you used things like *checks story quickly* "smiled"/"laughed"/"carried on"/etc.) That's really all I have to say on this point.
Point #3~ Sentence structure and segways/transitions between sentences and POVs! Over all in these first two chapters I'd give the sentence structure an 8.5/10. Some of the sentences just seemed a bit choppy. Like in Carolyn's POV in chapter 2 she says/thinks "Most people would've called it gay. I found it utterly attractive." The way they are now at the end of the paragraph they just
writerinprogress94
#6
I can't wait to read this! I listened to the piano cover while I read the opening and I swear I could actually see the whole thing! I can't wait to finish this story and head over to the sequel!
KhKheiselle0901 #7
Chapter 135: Welcome XD :D i just love this story..
EvrydayIsaShiningDay #8
Chapter 135: okay can i just say i was really confused when i saw that this was updates. xD same goes for the sequal. xD
danlyy
#9
That closure is so sad for minho...I suspect its Brianna who's become a black and red girl:/
CookieDookie #10
Ooh sequel :D
Can't wait ~