Lost and Found

A Fangirl's Dream

*Nicole’s POV*

Another hour ticked by, and I was beginning to lose it. Annie offered me one of her veggie dogs, saying I needed to eat something, but I couldn’t. I didn’t even want to breathe without knowing Minho was safe.

I rested my head against Carolyn’s shoulder. I was so thankful for her. I was thankful to everyone. They were treating me so nicely, when I obviously didn’t deserve it. Rebecca was sitting on my other side now, holding my hand and gently mumbling comforting words to me. I was too dazed to respond and could barely make out her words anyway; but somehow they helped.

“Hello?”

We all jumped in surprise; and fear.

“Hello?” the voice sounded again.

Annie got up and ran to the walky-talky sitting on the picnic table.

“Yes?!” she shouted into the device. “What is it?! Did you find him?! Are you safe?!”

“Hold on a minute will ya!” we heard the manager’s voice shout through the speaker. “We have Minho. He’s a little scratched up and worn out, but he’s okay. He got lost and ended up miles away; but we’ve got him now.”

I was feeling so many emotions; relief, sadness, anger, joy. I collapsed in Carolyn’s arms, tears streaming down my face. She wrapped me in a comforting hug and my long wavy hair.

“Any word on Taemin and Onew?” I heard her ask.

I had totally forgotten that the other boys were out there. Jonghyun was with the manager, but we hadn’t heard a thing from Onew or Taemin yet.

“No,” replied the manager. “Something must’ve happened to their walky-talky because we lost contact with them about an hour ago.”

*Carolyn’s POV*

I heard a small gasp come from Rebecca. I knew she was scared for Onew, but it couldn’t be anywhere NEAR as scared as I was for Taemin. We were in a relationship. I loved Taemin. If anything happened to him…

I tried to stay strong. I felt tears coming to my eyes.

“Let us know if you hear anything from them,” Rebecca said into the walky-talky.

By this time we were all standing in a circle around the communication device, which Annie held in her hands.

“Will do,” the manager said. “We’re heading back now though. If the other two aren’t back by the time we get there, then we’ll go back out again to find them.”

“They better be there,” we all heard Jonghyun mumble in the background.

“Can I talk to Minho?” Nicole begged into the device.

Some shuffling sounds came from the other end. They stopped and a voice came over the line. “Nicole?”

“Oh Minho, my baby! I was so worried! Don’t you ever scare me like that again!” she shouted.

“I’ll see you in a little bit, baby,” he laughed. “Bye guys.”

We set the walky-talky back down on the picnic table and went back to the fire to wait. We waited for what seemed like an eternity. Instead of sitting and crying like last time, Nicole paced back and forth, unable to hold still. I sat next to Rebecca who was staring blankly at the fire.

“Staring at it for too long will hurt your eyes,” I warned.

“Huh?!” she shot up. Apparently I’d snapped her out of a daydream. “Oh, sorry I was just-,”

“I understand,” I stopped her. I didn’t want her to have to go on. I could see the tears she was trying to hold back. “It’s hard not knowing.”

Suddenly a noise came from somewhere in the woods behind us. All of us jumped up in fear and huddled close to the fire.

*Rebecca’s POV*

“I-is it a bear?” Nicole whimpered, her knees shaking like crazy.

“I don’t know,” Carolyn replied nervously.

We huddled even tighter as the noise grew closer. Suddenly we heard voices.

“Ow, hyung; watch it! You just hit me with a branch!”

“Taemin?” Carolyn perked up.

“Sorry, it’s dark! And ahhhhhh!”

We heard stumble and a thud.

“Hyung, you are so clumsy! Come on get up. Hey! I see a light!”

“Are we dead?”

“No, it’s like a fire- hyung do you really think we’re dead?” the voice asked in a ‘No-Duh’ way. “Hey! Looks it’s the girls!”

We all turned to see Taemin standing at the edge of the clearing of the campsite.

“Taemin!!!!” Carolyn shouted, running toward her boyfriend. She embraced him so tightly that he nearly fell over.

Oh I missed you! I was so worried…”

Their voices faded from my ears as a beautiful sight unfolded behind them. It was Onew; stumbling out of the darkness and nearly falling flat on his face.

“Ow,” he mumbled before standing up straight.

“Onew Oppa!!!” I cried as I ran toward him, tears streaming down my face.

He looked up in surprise, but embraced me as I leapt into his arms. I wrapped my legs tight around him while throwing my arms around his neck. He held me tightly so I wouldn’t fall. I grabbed onto the collar of his shirt, squeezing it hard to hold back my emotion.

“Shhhh, I’m right here,” he whispered, the side of his face resting against mine.

“Oppa, I thought something happened to you,” I squeaked through my tears, trying to calm down.

“Haha, no I’m right here. See? I’m here in your arms,” he comforted me with a smile.

This only made me squeeze him tighter. I didn’t want to let go, but I knew I had to.

I was about to tell him he could set me down when I stopped. My eyes closed and a smile grew across my face as he planted soft butterfly kissed on my neck. I wasn’t sure if it was for comfort or for love, but I enjoyed each little touch of his lips on my skin.

*Onew’s POV*

Someday these kisses will be for your lips yebo… 

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Woobear27
Just letting those of you who are wondering that YES there WILL be a sequal to this story^.^ I am in the process of writing it right now!

Comments

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EHhyung
#1
Really nice story and I really love it so much
sinebright1095 #2
I love it :)
writerinprogress94
#3
Chapter 6: Second review of the day! Let's do this! Chapters 3-6, woo! (And this is why I shouldn't have caffine...)
I don't think I caught any spelling or grammar errors in the last 4 chapters. There might have been a few places where the wrong punctuation sign was used, but other than that, 9.5/10 on grammar and spelling.
I feel like there wasn't as much description in the last four chapters, but there was definately more dialogue so it balanced out. 8.5/10 on word choice.
Your sentence structure was still a bit choppy in places, but your transitions were flawless. You moved very smoothly from one chapter or POV to another. 9/10 on sentence structure and transitions.
The characters are filling out very nicely! 9/10
Continuation value?
...
...
... 80/100 :D
Now on to the next chapter!
writerinprogress94
#4
Chapter 2: seem a bit choppy. Maybe if they were combined...? Your transitions between ideas, paragraphs, and POVs were all "Sipjeom Manjeome Sipjeom!(10 out of 10)" Yay for 2PM reference :D
Dear lord, I've had to split this into 2 comments XP Me and my rambling...
Point #4~ Charcters! Any writer who's tried to write several OC's at once can appreciate the difficulty of having to give them each their own unique persona without making them a Mary-Sue. Even though by chapter two I've only seen your OC's a bit, they're all distinguishable from each other. I also think you're doing great on SHINee's POV's, too!
Final point~ Continuation value? (I believe I made up this phrase, but feel free to use it as long as you credit me XD)
In many longer stories, if by around the 5th to 10th I'm not enjoying it or interested for whatever reason, I'll stop reading. Your story, by chapter 2, is already at a 70/100 (which can drop or go up. I can already tell, though, that it'll be at least a 90/100 by the end!)
That's all until my next review! If these long reviews bother you, tell me and I'll shorten them :3
writerinprogress94
#5
Chapter 2: Even though the story is already completed, I'm still going to comment every few chapters. As an author I know how helpful feedback is!
First off, I don't think I caught any grammar or spelling mistakes in the last 2 chapters except for in Minho's POV in Chapter 1. You typed "Ewe, in a public restroom?" for Key's dialogue. "Ewe", spelled E-W-E, is a female sheep. Suggestions for the future or if you want to change it~ "Gross", "Nasty", "Disgusting", or simply "Ew"(sorry if I come across as a know-it-all, I don't try to XD). The only questionable thing is in the first sentence of Onew's POV in Chapter 2 you put "Her drooling words". Obviously I'm not all-knowing (who is, right?) so just because I don't know what that means doesn't mean it's wrong. Do you mean she's actually drooling? Could you clarify? I might want to use that word/phrase in the future, but I'd want to use it correctly! :3
Okay, now to the second point! Your word choice, which I mean by everything like your descriptions/imagery (like how the mansion was described during Key's POV in Captper 1; I don't know about you but writing the detailed descriptions is always the most tedious part of writing the story for me, so I applaud you! :D) to using words other than "said" for dialogue (one of my biggest fanfic pet peeves is when I find a story that has an amazing foreward, then I go to the first chapter and the whole thing is in "'Blah blah blah' said ___" format. Therefore, I really appreciate how you used things like *checks story quickly* "smiled"/"laughed"/"carried on"/etc.) That's really all I have to say on this point.
Point #3~ Sentence structure and segways/transitions between sentences and POVs! Over all in these first two chapters I'd give the sentence structure an 8.5/10. Some of the sentences just seemed a bit choppy. Like in Carolyn's POV in chapter 2 she says/thinks "Most people would've called it gay. I found it utterly attractive." The way they are now at the end of the paragraph they just
writerinprogress94
#6
I can't wait to read this! I listened to the piano cover while I read the opening and I swear I could actually see the whole thing! I can't wait to finish this story and head over to the sequel!
KhKheiselle0901 #7
Chapter 135: Welcome XD :D i just love this story..
EvrydayIsaShiningDay #8
Chapter 135: okay can i just say i was really confused when i saw that this was updates. xD same goes for the sequal. xD
danlyy
#9
That closure is so sad for minho...I suspect its Brianna who's become a black and red girl:/
CookieDookie #10
Ooh sequel :D
Can't wait ~