Pictures

A Fangirl's Dream

*Brianna’s POV*

“Here, let me help you,” Key said as he held up the jacket he’d given me when we were making spaghetti that one day. I slipped into the jacket and pulled it close around me. “Aigoo, you look so beautiful in it,” he gasped, covering his mouth. (Here’s the jacket if you’ve forgotten what it looks like:

 key-1.jpg 

“Don’t you dare cry on me you diva,” I threatened, brushing my hand across his chipmunk like cheeks, but it was already too late. A lone tear slid from his eye and he stared at me lovingly.

“That’s not gonna happen,” he choked, turning away and snuffling.

“Key,” I said, stepping into his view again. “We’re going to see each other again. Remember?” I slipped my hand into his and whispered the name we both loved “Mrs. Kim Kibum.”

He hugged me tightly, holding my head close to his body. I loved how much taller he was than me. It always placed me right by the nook of his neck which smelled of his fragrant cologne. I sighed and closed my eyes, taking in his scent and the feel of his warm embrace.

“I-I got you something,” he croaked through his tears. “Look in the left pocket of the jacket.”

I pulled away and did as he said. My fingers danced around with the chain, finding their way to a cold, metal object attached to it. I pulled it out to see the locket in all its glory. It was beautiful; silver and engraved on each side. The front had the letters ‘BD’ while the back had ‘KK.’

“Key,” I whispered, brushing my thumb over the stunning object. “This is beautiful.”

“I bought it for a beautiful girl.”

I looked up at him, trying not to cry. He always knew what to say to make me feel special.

“Aigoo, don’t you cry now too,” he managed through his tears as he brushed away one of my own with him thumb. “Open it,” he urged, looking back down at the locket.

I slipped my thumb nail between the two heart shaped pieces of metal, popping them open. I covered my mouth with my hand as more tears poured out of my eyes.

On the right side was an adorable picture of him and me making a heart with our hands. It was absolutely adorable. However, what shocked me even more was when the picture faded to another picture of us; Key kissing my cheek and me laughing.

“How…?” I looked up at him in wonder.

“It’s a digital locket,” he smiled. “I put in all the pictures we took together. It can hold up to 75, but… it’s kind of filled right now.”

“Did we really take 75 pictures together?” I asked, with a laugh.

He shrugged and laughed, “The camera just loves us.”

“You know, I was wondering why it seems so hefty.”

“Hefty?” he laughed. “You’re so silly! But yes, there’s a battery compartment in the back. Here; let me put it on you.” He reached for the necklace, but I stopped him.

“Wait,” I said, still staring inside the heart shaped piece of metal.

“What is it?” he asked curiously.

I couldn’t speak. I just held up the locket and pointed to the left side that wasn’t digital. Inside was a note. It was sweet and simple, but it meant the world to me.

“I love you Mrs. K,” he smiled, reading the note out load. He then looked up into my eyes. “I really do.”

“It makes it seem so real. Like, it’s really going to happen.”

“That’s because it is,” he smirked. He then proceeded to take the locket from me and undo the latch. His hands slipped behind my neck and fumbled with the clasp. Even after he had clasped the sides back together we stood there staring into each other’s passionate eyes.

We both reacted at the same time, diving at one another’s lips. His arms wrapped around my neck, holding me close to make our kiss deep and tousling my hair. I in turn put my hands softly on the back of his neck, letting my fingers play with the baby hair on the back of his neck.

We kissed passionately as if we weren’t in the middle of an airport and people weren’t staring at us. Tears also mixed with our kiss, only making us more determined never to stop. When our lungs were finally burning from lack of oxygen we pulled away, only long enough to catch our breaths before going back in for a second round.

Our lips slowed down into long, drawn out kisses until we finally broke apart softly. I rested my forehead against his chest and tried to catch my breath. He snuggled my body close to his, his hot breath tickling the side of my neck.

“I’ll see you soon,” he whispered, kissing the top of my head.

I closed my eyes, letting my head rise and fall with the movements of his chest. “You’ll always be in my heart.”

“I know,” he smiled, pulling away. “That’s what the locket is for.”

We both laughed painfully, our faces stained by our mixed tears. I glanced up at him, then down at my carryon sitting by my feet. He bent down and picked it up for me before I had a chance to do it myself.

“Have a safe trip home yebo,” he smiled, handing me the bag.

“You too honey,” I smiled back, taking the bag from him. I walked toward the doorway, but stopped to turn back one last time. “Thank you for everything, Kim Kibum.” I managed.

“I love you, don’t forget it!” he called through the tears streaming down his face. “Now go become the awesome nurse I know you are!”

It took all my strength to turn away from him and walk onto that plane. I wanted to run back to him and wipe away those tears. My lips begged to kiss his lips. I stared out the window of the plane thinking about yesterday when the power went out. It was the last time I would feel Key’s soft, sweaty skin against mine for a long time. My eyes closed and I remembered the feeling and the sound of his lips smacking against my own. His words rung in my head; I love you Mrs. K.

The plane gained speed as it headed down the runway. My eyes stuck on the building across the runway in which my dear Key was standing; where I’d left him. The building quickly dropped below my line of sight as the giant craft flew off the ground and into the air. I took a deep sigh and adjusted my earphones in my ears. I picked ‘Graze’ and fast forwarded to the part I knew all too well: “When I see that picture that we took together, I can’t ever forget you.”

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Woobear27
Just letting those of you who are wondering that YES there WILL be a sequal to this story^.^ I am in the process of writing it right now!

Comments

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EHhyung
#1
Really nice story and I really love it so much
sinebright1095 #2
I love it :)
writerinprogress94
#3
Chapter 6: Second review of the day! Let's do this! Chapters 3-6, woo! (And this is why I shouldn't have caffine...)
I don't think I caught any spelling or grammar errors in the last 4 chapters. There might have been a few places where the wrong punctuation sign was used, but other than that, 9.5/10 on grammar and spelling.
I feel like there wasn't as much description in the last four chapters, but there was definately more dialogue so it balanced out. 8.5/10 on word choice.
Your sentence structure was still a bit choppy in places, but your transitions were flawless. You moved very smoothly from one chapter or POV to another. 9/10 on sentence structure and transitions.
The characters are filling out very nicely! 9/10
Continuation value?
...
...
... 80/100 :D
Now on to the next chapter!
writerinprogress94
#4
Chapter 2: seem a bit choppy. Maybe if they were combined...? Your transitions between ideas, paragraphs, and POVs were all "Sipjeom Manjeome Sipjeom!(10 out of 10)" Yay for 2PM reference :D
Dear lord, I've had to split this into 2 comments XP Me and my rambling...
Point #4~ Charcters! Any writer who's tried to write several OC's at once can appreciate the difficulty of having to give them each their own unique persona without making them a Mary-Sue. Even though by chapter two I've only seen your OC's a bit, they're all distinguishable from each other. I also think you're doing great on SHINee's POV's, too!
Final point~ Continuation value? (I believe I made up this phrase, but feel free to use it as long as you credit me XD)
In many longer stories, if by around the 5th to 10th I'm not enjoying it or interested for whatever reason, I'll stop reading. Your story, by chapter 2, is already at a 70/100 (which can drop or go up. I can already tell, though, that it'll be at least a 90/100 by the end!)
That's all until my next review! If these long reviews bother you, tell me and I'll shorten them :3
writerinprogress94
#5
Chapter 2: Even though the story is already completed, I'm still going to comment every few chapters. As an author I know how helpful feedback is!
First off, I don't think I caught any grammar or spelling mistakes in the last 2 chapters except for in Minho's POV in Chapter 1. You typed "Ewe, in a public restroom?" for Key's dialogue. "Ewe", spelled E-W-E, is a female sheep. Suggestions for the future or if you want to change it~ "Gross", "Nasty", "Disgusting", or simply "Ew"(sorry if I come across as a know-it-all, I don't try to XD). The only questionable thing is in the first sentence of Onew's POV in Chapter 2 you put "Her drooling words". Obviously I'm not all-knowing (who is, right?) so just because I don't know what that means doesn't mean it's wrong. Do you mean she's actually drooling? Could you clarify? I might want to use that word/phrase in the future, but I'd want to use it correctly! :3
Okay, now to the second point! Your word choice, which I mean by everything like your descriptions/imagery (like how the mansion was described during Key's POV in Captper 1; I don't know about you but writing the detailed descriptions is always the most tedious part of writing the story for me, so I applaud you! :D) to using words other than "said" for dialogue (one of my biggest fanfic pet peeves is when I find a story that has an amazing foreward, then I go to the first chapter and the whole thing is in "'Blah blah blah' said ___" format. Therefore, I really appreciate how you used things like *checks story quickly* "smiled"/"laughed"/"carried on"/etc.) That's really all I have to say on this point.
Point #3~ Sentence structure and segways/transitions between sentences and POVs! Over all in these first two chapters I'd give the sentence structure an 8.5/10. Some of the sentences just seemed a bit choppy. Like in Carolyn's POV in chapter 2 she says/thinks "Most people would've called it gay. I found it utterly attractive." The way they are now at the end of the paragraph they just
writerinprogress94
#6
I can't wait to read this! I listened to the piano cover while I read the opening and I swear I could actually see the whole thing! I can't wait to finish this story and head over to the sequel!
KhKheiselle0901 #7
Chapter 135: Welcome XD :D i just love this story..
EvrydayIsaShiningDay #8
Chapter 135: okay can i just say i was really confused when i saw that this was updates. xD same goes for the sequal. xD
danlyy
#9
That closure is so sad for minho...I suspect its Brianna who's become a black and red girl:/
CookieDookie #10
Ooh sequel :D
Can't wait ~