Trust

A Fangirl's Dream

*Jonghyun’s POV*

The car ride back was fun at first, until Taemin’s anger finally made him explode and he told us all to be quiet. Key joined up with the little maknae (of course) and scolded us as well. We resorted to whispering, texting, and sleeping. I felt bad for Taemin, but him being a downer was sure annoying.

I was relieved when the mansion came into sight and we all climbed out of the van. We unpacked and all decided that today would be a day of rest; that is, besides Taemin and Key who immediately went to the hospital, not even getting out of the van to put their stuff away.

*Taemin’s POV*

They whole way to the hospital I was trying to think of what to say, but nothing did my emotions justice. I figured the words would just come when we got there, boy was I right.

------------------ 

"Carolyn?” I asked cautiously as I entered the hospital room. Carolyn lay in the bed watching TV. She didn’t even acknowledge Key’s or my presence. “Carolyn?” I called again… still no answer.

I was no longer upset, but angry now. I marched over, grabbed the remote, and flicked off the TV. She looked at me in surprise, which was understandable seeing as I’d never really acted that way around her before.

“Carolyn, you listen to me! I don’t understand what I did. Maybe that makes me a terrible person, I don’t know. But whatever the heck it was I swear I’m sorry and I didn’t mean it. Why would I ever do something to hurt you? I thought I made it evident that I cared about you more than anything in the world. I was there when got hit. I was there to pay for your doctor bills. I was there when you hurt your wrist in the woods. Well now I need YOU. Please don’t push me away for one mistake. Tell me you care about me more than that!”

She sat there, speechless. She blinked her large brown eyes and attempted to form words, but she was still in shock. Finally she got a hold of herself and came back with an answer.

“I can’t believe you,” she looked at me in disgust. “You come in here acting all innocent like I’m the bad one here? You’re the one cheating on me! Sure we had something in the beginning, but what; did you just get tired of me?! You could’ve at least told me Taemin!”

“What the heck are you talking about?!” I asked, totally dumfounded.

“Look!” she shouted, tossing me her phone. “The first picture.”

I opened the picture, and became even more confused. All I saw was Key and Brianna making a heart and pouting faces. Key stepped closer to me to get a look at the picture as well.

“I don’t see-,”

“Look closely!” she cut me off.

I focused on the picture intently. Finally I realized what she was talking about. Elizabeth and I were in the background and I was hugging her, both of us smiling. The way the picture was taken, you couldn’t see the cameraman taking the picture for the shoot.

“Carolyn, it’s not what it looks like,” I began.

“How can you say that?!” she shouted.

“That was the model I had to pose with for the photo shoot! Look we’re wearing the couple shirts assigned to us and everything!” I shoved the phone into her face so she could see.

“It’s true!” Key piped up. “They were in the middle of their shoot when we took that picture.”

Carolyn looked up with an… unexplainable expression on her face. It had so many different emotions in it that I didn’t know what to say. Thankfully Carolyn spoke up.

“So, you weren’t cheating on me?”

“Of course not!” I exclaimed. “How could you think that I’d do something like that?!”

“Well I thought… I thought…”

“How are we supposed to have a long distance relationship when you can’t even trust me being gone for one night?!”

“W-what do you mean; a long distance relationship?” she asked cautiously.

“I can’t stay here forever. Eventually I have to go back to South Korea.”

She stared at me with puppy eyes which quickly began to water over. One lone tear finally slid down her cheek. “Y-you still want to be my boyfriend, even when you go back?”

“Of course,” I said, taking her by the hand. “Carolyn, you have to learn to trust me. I’ll always be here for you. I want to be the one that you can turn to, always. I could never imagine letting you go, or seeing you with someone else. I want to be with you forever.”

“I’m sorry Taemin,” she said as I bent down to hug her and another tear slipped down her cheek. “I guess I just have a hard time trusting people because… you know.”

“I understand,” I whispered. “But you don’t have to worry about that anymore. I’ll always be honest to you yebo. You’re my everything and I’ll never let you fall.” 

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Woobear27
Just letting those of you who are wondering that YES there WILL be a sequal to this story^.^ I am in the process of writing it right now!

Comments

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EHhyung
#1
Really nice story and I really love it so much
sinebright1095 #2
I love it :)
writerinprogress94
#3
Chapter 6: Second review of the day! Let's do this! Chapters 3-6, woo! (And this is why I shouldn't have caffine...)
I don't think I caught any spelling or grammar errors in the last 4 chapters. There might have been a few places where the wrong punctuation sign was used, but other than that, 9.5/10 on grammar and spelling.
I feel like there wasn't as much description in the last four chapters, but there was definately more dialogue so it balanced out. 8.5/10 on word choice.
Your sentence structure was still a bit choppy in places, but your transitions were flawless. You moved very smoothly from one chapter or POV to another. 9/10 on sentence structure and transitions.
The characters are filling out very nicely! 9/10
Continuation value?
...
...
... 80/100 :D
Now on to the next chapter!
writerinprogress94
#4
Chapter 2: seem a bit choppy. Maybe if they were combined...? Your transitions between ideas, paragraphs, and POVs were all "Sipjeom Manjeome Sipjeom!(10 out of 10)" Yay for 2PM reference :D
Dear lord, I've had to split this into 2 comments XP Me and my rambling...
Point #4~ Charcters! Any writer who's tried to write several OC's at once can appreciate the difficulty of having to give them each their own unique persona without making them a Mary-Sue. Even though by chapter two I've only seen your OC's a bit, they're all distinguishable from each other. I also think you're doing great on SHINee's POV's, too!
Final point~ Continuation value? (I believe I made up this phrase, but feel free to use it as long as you credit me XD)
In many longer stories, if by around the 5th to 10th I'm not enjoying it or interested for whatever reason, I'll stop reading. Your story, by chapter 2, is already at a 70/100 (which can drop or go up. I can already tell, though, that it'll be at least a 90/100 by the end!)
That's all until my next review! If these long reviews bother you, tell me and I'll shorten them :3
writerinprogress94
#5
Chapter 2: Even though the story is already completed, I'm still going to comment every few chapters. As an author I know how helpful feedback is!
First off, I don't think I caught any grammar or spelling mistakes in the last 2 chapters except for in Minho's POV in Chapter 1. You typed "Ewe, in a public restroom?" for Key's dialogue. "Ewe", spelled E-W-E, is a female sheep. Suggestions for the future or if you want to change it~ "Gross", "Nasty", "Disgusting", or simply "Ew"(sorry if I come across as a know-it-all, I don't try to XD). The only questionable thing is in the first sentence of Onew's POV in Chapter 2 you put "Her drooling words". Obviously I'm not all-knowing (who is, right?) so just because I don't know what that means doesn't mean it's wrong. Do you mean she's actually drooling? Could you clarify? I might want to use that word/phrase in the future, but I'd want to use it correctly! :3
Okay, now to the second point! Your word choice, which I mean by everything like your descriptions/imagery (like how the mansion was described during Key's POV in Captper 1; I don't know about you but writing the detailed descriptions is always the most tedious part of writing the story for me, so I applaud you! :D) to using words other than "said" for dialogue (one of my biggest fanfic pet peeves is when I find a story that has an amazing foreward, then I go to the first chapter and the whole thing is in "'Blah blah blah' said ___" format. Therefore, I really appreciate how you used things like *checks story quickly* "smiled"/"laughed"/"carried on"/etc.) That's really all I have to say on this point.
Point #3~ Sentence structure and segways/transitions between sentences and POVs! Over all in these first two chapters I'd give the sentence structure an 8.5/10. Some of the sentences just seemed a bit choppy. Like in Carolyn's POV in chapter 2 she says/thinks "Most people would've called it gay. I found it utterly attractive." The way they are now at the end of the paragraph they just
writerinprogress94
#6
I can't wait to read this! I listened to the piano cover while I read the opening and I swear I could actually see the whole thing! I can't wait to finish this story and head over to the sequel!
KhKheiselle0901 #7
Chapter 135: Welcome XD :D i just love this story..
EvrydayIsaShiningDay #8
Chapter 135: okay can i just say i was really confused when i saw that this was updates. xD same goes for the sequal. xD
danlyy
#9
That closure is so sad for minho...I suspect its Brianna who's become a black and red girl:/
CookieDookie #10
Ooh sequel :D
Can't wait ~