Don't Say That You Love Me

A Fangirl's Dream

*Jonghyun’s POV*

“Gosh, Jjong will you stop bawling?” Annie said, slapping my arm.

“How can I? I’m losing you. I don’t think I can go on,” I cried.

“You silly, dramatic dino,” she laughed and pulled me into a deep kiss.

I didn’t understand how she wasn’t crying. Did she not care? Did I mean nothing to her?

“Why aren’t you crying?” I asked, pulling away.

“Because,” she said, looking at the ground. “I-I… I just really don’t cry.”

“What do you mean you don’t cry?!” I asked in astonishment.

“I just don’t; I don’t know!”

“You’re crazy,” I said shaking my head.

“But you love me,” she smiled, fixing my hair.

“So, we’ll keep in touch, right?” I stopped her hand by pulling it down and slipping it into mine.

“Of course,” she looked at me knowingly. “Then if we do see each other again we’ll see how it goes.”

“Right, we’ll see how it goes.” I echoed.

She put her arms around my neck and kissed me one last time. I let her lips caress mine, taking in the feeling and locking it up in a mental box which I told myself I’d go back to whenever I was lonely.

“I’ll never forget you Jonghyun,” she whispered, resting her forehead against mine.

“You better not!” I threatened through my tears. “I love-,”

“Shhh!” she put a finger to my lips. “Don’t say it. It’ll only make it harder.”

I sighed and rocked her back and forth in my arms. “But I do you know.”

“I know.”

“Oh, I have something for you,” I said, pulling away and reaching inside my jacket to pull out a CD.

“Jjong, what is it?” she gasped, taking it from my hands.

“It’s a CD,” I said simply.

“Well I can see that!” she said rolling her eyes with a smile. “But what’s on it?”

“Well, I wanted you to have my voice with you wherever you go, so I recorded myself singing a bunch of your favorite songs.”

She looked up at me with a deep look in her eyes and threw her arms around me. Her grip was tight, but I didn’t mind. I was probably squeezing her just as closely.

After another minute she pulled away and looked me in the eyes. “I should probably go now.”

I just nodded, unable to speak. She kissed two of her fingers and pressed them to my lips before slipping from my arms. She walked with style toward the doorway that would lead her onto the plane taking her home. I watched her silhouette fade as she rounded the corner and was gone. Even after she was out of sight I stared. When the door closed, when the plane left the boarding dock, I stared.

*Minho’s POV*

“I love you,” I let the words slide from my lips while I lay alone in the hospital room. “I miss you. I’m sorry. I was wrong. Come back. Don’t leave me…”

Not being able to see Nicole again turned me into even more of a mess than I was. The last memory I had of seeing Nicole was a blurry image of her running along next to my gurney while I was in my half dazed state. What kind of memory was that?

I closed my eyes as I came to a painful decision. I’d lost Nicole and there was no getting her back. She was gone forever now, not that she even wanted to see me in the first place. I just had to accept the fact and get over my love for her. However, this task was much easier said than done.

 

 

Isn't that picture of Jjongie just too cute? Aigoo.... <3 And I found the perfect song for this chapter!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6VhcML6Jbw  Kinda made me wanna cry... but I've always like this song<3

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Woobear27
Just letting those of you who are wondering that YES there WILL be a sequal to this story^.^ I am in the process of writing it right now!

Comments

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EHhyung
#1
Really nice story and I really love it so much
sinebright1095 #2
I love it :)
writerinprogress94
#3
Chapter 6: Second review of the day! Let's do this! Chapters 3-6, woo! (And this is why I shouldn't have caffine...)
I don't think I caught any spelling or grammar errors in the last 4 chapters. There might have been a few places where the wrong punctuation sign was used, but other than that, 9.5/10 on grammar and spelling.
I feel like there wasn't as much description in the last four chapters, but there was definately more dialogue so it balanced out. 8.5/10 on word choice.
Your sentence structure was still a bit choppy in places, but your transitions were flawless. You moved very smoothly from one chapter or POV to another. 9/10 on sentence structure and transitions.
The characters are filling out very nicely! 9/10
Continuation value?
...
...
... 80/100 :D
Now on to the next chapter!
writerinprogress94
#4
Chapter 2: seem a bit choppy. Maybe if they were combined...? Your transitions between ideas, paragraphs, and POVs were all "Sipjeom Manjeome Sipjeom!(10 out of 10)" Yay for 2PM reference :D
Dear lord, I've had to split this into 2 comments XP Me and my rambling...
Point #4~ Charcters! Any writer who's tried to write several OC's at once can appreciate the difficulty of having to give them each their own unique persona without making them a Mary-Sue. Even though by chapter two I've only seen your OC's a bit, they're all distinguishable from each other. I also think you're doing great on SHINee's POV's, too!
Final point~ Continuation value? (I believe I made up this phrase, but feel free to use it as long as you credit me XD)
In many longer stories, if by around the 5th to 10th I'm not enjoying it or interested for whatever reason, I'll stop reading. Your story, by chapter 2, is already at a 70/100 (which can drop or go up. I can already tell, though, that it'll be at least a 90/100 by the end!)
That's all until my next review! If these long reviews bother you, tell me and I'll shorten them :3
writerinprogress94
#5
Chapter 2: Even though the story is already completed, I'm still going to comment every few chapters. As an author I know how helpful feedback is!
First off, I don't think I caught any grammar or spelling mistakes in the last 2 chapters except for in Minho's POV in Chapter 1. You typed "Ewe, in a public restroom?" for Key's dialogue. "Ewe", spelled E-W-E, is a female sheep. Suggestions for the future or if you want to change it~ "Gross", "Nasty", "Disgusting", or simply "Ew"(sorry if I come across as a know-it-all, I don't try to XD). The only questionable thing is in the first sentence of Onew's POV in Chapter 2 you put "Her drooling words". Obviously I'm not all-knowing (who is, right?) so just because I don't know what that means doesn't mean it's wrong. Do you mean she's actually drooling? Could you clarify? I might want to use that word/phrase in the future, but I'd want to use it correctly! :3
Okay, now to the second point! Your word choice, which I mean by everything like your descriptions/imagery (like how the mansion was described during Key's POV in Captper 1; I don't know about you but writing the detailed descriptions is always the most tedious part of writing the story for me, so I applaud you! :D) to using words other than "said" for dialogue (one of my biggest fanfic pet peeves is when I find a story that has an amazing foreward, then I go to the first chapter and the whole thing is in "'Blah blah blah' said ___" format. Therefore, I really appreciate how you used things like *checks story quickly* "smiled"/"laughed"/"carried on"/etc.) That's really all I have to say on this point.
Point #3~ Sentence structure and segways/transitions between sentences and POVs! Over all in these first two chapters I'd give the sentence structure an 8.5/10. Some of the sentences just seemed a bit choppy. Like in Carolyn's POV in chapter 2 she says/thinks "Most people would've called it gay. I found it utterly attractive." The way they are now at the end of the paragraph they just
writerinprogress94
#6
I can't wait to read this! I listened to the piano cover while I read the opening and I swear I could actually see the whole thing! I can't wait to finish this story and head over to the sequel!
KhKheiselle0901 #7
Chapter 135: Welcome XD :D i just love this story..
EvrydayIsaShiningDay #8
Chapter 135: okay can i just say i was really confused when i saw that this was updates. xD same goes for the sequal. xD
danlyy
#9
That closure is so sad for minho...I suspect its Brianna who's become a black and red girl:/
CookieDookie #10
Ooh sequel :D
Can't wait ~