Getting to Know You (Rebecca+Minho)

A Fangirl's Dream

*Minho’s POV*

I was feeling so self-conscious! Every move I made, every word I spoke; I was always afraid I’d do something wrong.

Come on; get a hold of yourself Minho! She’s just a girl! A beautiful girl…Stop! She’s a girl!

“So, um, where are you from?” I finally asked her.

“Central New York, out in the middle of farm country,” she replied.

“Oh, farms are cool.”

Aigoo Minho! What are you saying?

“Um, so what do you like to do?” I tried again.

“I like photography, dancing, acting, singing, music, sports, and writing.”

Hmmm a girl with a lot of interests; she’s just my type!

“Cool! I like sports too! What ones do you like?” Finally we had something to talk about!

“I play soccer and volleyball. What about you?”

“I play soccer too!” I exclaimed.

“We should have a match, right here; right now,” she said.

“Okay, you’re on!” I ran to go find a ball while she set up some goals in a large grassy area of the garden.

---------------------------------- 

“Another point for me!” Rebecca shouted as I lifted the net and rolled the ball out of the makeshift goal.

How is she this good?!

I was pro at soccer. I could beat ANYONE. How was I losing 3-7 with a GIRL?! I hated losing; especially to girls.

She was getting tired; I could tell. It was the perfect time for me to strike.

“Ready?” I asked placing the ball in the center of the “field.”

“I was born ready,” she smiled deviously back at me.

I started off by faking to the right, but instead kicking the ball left. It always worked, but she had gotten used to my playing by now and knew I would do that. She followed me, gracefully moving her feet and fighting for the ball. This time I wasn’t going to let her good looks distract me. No more losing the ball because I was busy staring at her pretty face with beads of sweat running down her forehead.

She was about to snatch the ball from me; I saw it coming. In defense, I pulled my trickiest move, slipping the ball away from her with ease; well that is until my foot got caught on her ankle, pulling us both to the ground.

“Ouch!”

We were lying on the ground, side by side. I looked over at her to see Rebecca’s eyes shut tight, while she rolled around on the grass holding her ankle.

Minho, what did you do?!

“Rebecca, I’m… I’m…”

I stood up and offered her a hand up. She took it and attempted to stand, only to fall back down on her in pain and grab her ankle again.

“I’m so sorry!” I knelt down next to her, feeling absolutely terrible.

“It’s okay; I’m fine,” she lied. I could see her eyes getting wet.

*Rebecca’s POV*

Don’t you DARE cry Rebecca Doile! You’re stronger than this. You can’t cry…

A tear escaped down my cheek.

“Oh, Becca, I’m really sorry,” he wiped away my tear with his thumb.

I turned away so he wouldn’t see me cry. Gosh I always looked so ugly when I cried.

Suddenly I felt his hands reaching under my legs and behind my back, lifting me up off the ground. Out of instinct I wrapped my arms around his neck; the fear of falling danced in my mind.

I hated getting picked up. I felt like anyone who did would think I was fat; but being in Minho’s strong arms made me feel strangely light. He carried me into the mansion.

“I’ll take care of you, don’t worry,” I heard him whisper under his breath. 

 

 

 

 

 

This might sound weird, but the gif of Minho for this chapter kills me. He has such beautiful lips!!!!!!!!

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Woobear27
Just letting those of you who are wondering that YES there WILL be a sequal to this story^.^ I am in the process of writing it right now!

Comments

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EHhyung
#1
Really nice story and I really love it so much
sinebright1095 #2
I love it :)
writerinprogress94
#3
Chapter 6: Second review of the day! Let's do this! Chapters 3-6, woo! (And this is why I shouldn't have caffine...)
I don't think I caught any spelling or grammar errors in the last 4 chapters. There might have been a few places where the wrong punctuation sign was used, but other than that, 9.5/10 on grammar and spelling.
I feel like there wasn't as much description in the last four chapters, but there was definately more dialogue so it balanced out. 8.5/10 on word choice.
Your sentence structure was still a bit choppy in places, but your transitions were flawless. You moved very smoothly from one chapter or POV to another. 9/10 on sentence structure and transitions.
The characters are filling out very nicely! 9/10
Continuation value?
...
...
... 80/100 :D
Now on to the next chapter!
writerinprogress94
#4
Chapter 2: seem a bit choppy. Maybe if they were combined...? Your transitions between ideas, paragraphs, and POVs were all "Sipjeom Manjeome Sipjeom!(10 out of 10)" Yay for 2PM reference :D
Dear lord, I've had to split this into 2 comments XP Me and my rambling...
Point #4~ Charcters! Any writer who's tried to write several OC's at once can appreciate the difficulty of having to give them each their own unique persona without making them a Mary-Sue. Even though by chapter two I've only seen your OC's a bit, they're all distinguishable from each other. I also think you're doing great on SHINee's POV's, too!
Final point~ Continuation value? (I believe I made up this phrase, but feel free to use it as long as you credit me XD)
In many longer stories, if by around the 5th to 10th I'm not enjoying it or interested for whatever reason, I'll stop reading. Your story, by chapter 2, is already at a 70/100 (which can drop or go up. I can already tell, though, that it'll be at least a 90/100 by the end!)
That's all until my next review! If these long reviews bother you, tell me and I'll shorten them :3
writerinprogress94
#5
Chapter 2: Even though the story is already completed, I'm still going to comment every few chapters. As an author I know how helpful feedback is!
First off, I don't think I caught any grammar or spelling mistakes in the last 2 chapters except for in Minho's POV in Chapter 1. You typed "Ewe, in a public restroom?" for Key's dialogue. "Ewe", spelled E-W-E, is a female sheep. Suggestions for the future or if you want to change it~ "Gross", "Nasty", "Disgusting", or simply "Ew"(sorry if I come across as a know-it-all, I don't try to XD). The only questionable thing is in the first sentence of Onew's POV in Chapter 2 you put "Her drooling words". Obviously I'm not all-knowing (who is, right?) so just because I don't know what that means doesn't mean it's wrong. Do you mean she's actually drooling? Could you clarify? I might want to use that word/phrase in the future, but I'd want to use it correctly! :3
Okay, now to the second point! Your word choice, which I mean by everything like your descriptions/imagery (like how the mansion was described during Key's POV in Captper 1; I don't know about you but writing the detailed descriptions is always the most tedious part of writing the story for me, so I applaud you! :D) to using words other than "said" for dialogue (one of my biggest fanfic pet peeves is when I find a story that has an amazing foreward, then I go to the first chapter and the whole thing is in "'Blah blah blah' said ___" format. Therefore, I really appreciate how you used things like *checks story quickly* "smiled"/"laughed"/"carried on"/etc.) That's really all I have to say on this point.
Point #3~ Sentence structure and segways/transitions between sentences and POVs! Over all in these first two chapters I'd give the sentence structure an 8.5/10. Some of the sentences just seemed a bit choppy. Like in Carolyn's POV in chapter 2 she says/thinks "Most people would've called it gay. I found it utterly attractive." The way they are now at the end of the paragraph they just
writerinprogress94
#6
I can't wait to read this! I listened to the piano cover while I read the opening and I swear I could actually see the whole thing! I can't wait to finish this story and head over to the sequel!
KhKheiselle0901 #7
Chapter 135: Welcome XD :D i just love this story..
EvrydayIsaShiningDay #8
Chapter 135: okay can i just say i was really confused when i saw that this was updates. xD same goes for the sequal. xD
danlyy
#9
That closure is so sad for minho...I suspect its Brianna who's become a black and red girl:/
CookieDookie #10
Ooh sequel :D
Can't wait ~