Away From Your Eyes Scene 1.5

It was said whatever happened the day before was meant to be left behind as a new day began. With the sun rising from the east – indicating a new morning, a new start. Yet in reality, with the capability of making this statement true was scarce. Living through life, everyone knew it was impossible. There will never be a day for a new start as long as life goes on. Problems won't go away as it stays, haunting each and every soul – until it was being resolved.

For anyone out there; there will never be a new start, or a new beginning. Life is a journey with no pit stops. The only thing one could do... was to make things better. Live with life and move on. If not, live with life and carry on. Remember life has no red lights telling you to stop. It's all up and downhill with just warning signs.

“You became her sole commitment, do you know that? Because she loves you, so much that she's willing to do anything. To die was even possible.”

Every single word Yuri spoke in the day played in her head like a broken tape recorder. Her heart was burning maniacally. It was pure torture. It was even worse than knowing the fact that she was now a disabled person.

The love of her life... The sole purpose of her breathings that she's taking every beat her heart made. Her ardent paramour was in such vehement pain because of her selfishness, and her stupidity. It wasn't the end of the world when she lost her sight. She was still living and breathing, time was still ticking as she laid on her bed, with sheets already drenched from her overnight wails.

“Instead of acceding this suffering to go on like a loop, why not just break it and bring Tiffany back to your side?”

Even if she was now blind – she still has her whole life laid ahead of her. Not a choice to make by ending her own life, she had to live on. Blind or not, she had to move on. It wasn't possible to feel sorry for herself for a year, or two. Weeks or months, yes. A year? It was highly impossible. No matter how hard it would be for her, she had to resume to her life sooner or later.

And Tiffany... Tiffany was part of her life. No. Tiffany was her life, her entire life.

This self-pity could go on for another few weeks, perhaps months. But this ache in her chest couldn't. Every single time she shoved her love away from her, the vital organ in her chest was being slashed with no mercy. Each time she shouted at her beloved, a part of her beating heart was ruthlessly tore away. It took her so much to reject Tiffany, and triple the effort not to pull her into her arms and feel the warmth she'd always cherished ever since the first time the duo came into physical contact.

Taeyeon wasn't sure if it was still in the night or the sun has already risen because of her sobbing session that she'd lost track of time. It would be the same anyway. In front of her will always be a patch of darkness. But she was determined that it didn't mattered anymore. Nothing mattered more than this one thing, in other words, this one person – Tiffany. She has been such a selfish freak for these past three months and it was time to put to an end, to make things better. Even though she was no longer a fully abled person, she will however, with determination to make it up to Tiffany. If she had loved Tiffany with her whole heart for all these years, she would now love her with every other part of her body. If she'd doted Tiffany in all ways she could think of previously, she would now dote her by giving everything in the world she could afford to. If she'd made Tiffany sad and cried through all these years, she would now give up whatever she has in her name to make her smile.

Tiffany has been her life. That was a statement and as well a fact, also a vow. It was then, it was now and it will forever be that way.

With her decision convicted, the girl rose from her bed and lifted her legs off the soft mattress. The contact of her sole with the cooling wooden tiles sent shivers down her spine. She wriggled her toes and placed force on her arms and her legs, pushing herself upwards, standing up in a split moment.

Trails of dried tears were visible on her cheekbones down to her chin and jaw bones. That wasn't important. Even if anyone saw the state she was in right now, it wasn't a big issue. No longer she needed pride, no longer she needed a shield. No matter how weak or how pathetic she looked, it was exactly the way she needed Tiffany to see – that Tiffany was the only element in her life she needed. Begging wasn't even a problem if Tiffany would reject to remain by her side. Anything to be done to make Tiffany stay.

Tracing her way out of the bedroom, she almost fell a couple of times because of her impatience. Just as she had her grip on the doorknob, something had her feet crossed and she fell straight towards the doorframe – a hard and solid impact made.

“Damn!” She winced in pain and rubbed her injury. A few seconds she sat there before her adrenaline rush urged her to get up and move onwards. Much more careful this time, she made her way down the hallway and each room she passed by, there was no presence of Tiffany.

Her heart beat began to race irregularly. Thoughts were running wild and she fastened her pace to the next few rooms. There were no responses each time she shouted Tiffany's name into each room and that landed her to the study room that was located at the end of the hallway. The smell of the room penetrated her nostrils and it was a pleasant scent. There was a faint strawberry scent that was similar to how Tiffany smelled like, with a hint of wood that the bookracks were giving off. It brought a smile to her face as she recalled how Tiffany had excitingly suggested a real antique-decorated study room was definitely in her list and she wouldn't move in unless it was done. That eye smile of Tiffany's was heaven when Taeyeon agreed to her lover's request.

Without her notice, she was already in the middle of the room, standing just in front of the well-designed wooden table. Her fingers grazed across the surface on its own accord and the smoothened wood were sending goosebumps to her arm, all the way to the back of her neck.

She picked her hand up and was about to turn away when a stack of neat envelopes caught her attention. Immediately she picked the pile up and she felt her chest tightened, tears fighting to surge out of her.

To my dearest Tae Tae

From the earliest to the latest, she used the letter cutter that was in the stationary holder by the end of the table and slit opened the top. One after the next, each letter made her sobbing louder. Her breaths were heavier and hiccups were harder. Without even an effort to hide her crying, she wailed to her heart's content as she read whatever that was written by her lover – and every single word was hand written.

“Tippani...” She hushed out with her tears and mucus all mashed up.

Last envelope she slit opened, last letter that was among the pile. Written just two days ago. Unfolding the piece of paper, her hands were shaking uncontrollably. It was too much for her to take. The feelings Tiffany wrote down with her own hand – it was a pang in her heart. She made the love of her life suffered so much, so deeply; and not once has she wavered to leave or give up.

Her eyes were filled with tears and halfway done the reading; something distracted her from the back.

“Tae Tae?” The voice of an angel. “Why are you up? It's only 5:15am.” Frozen, Taeyeon didn't know how to react. A few moments later, she heard footsteps grazing across the wooden tiles and a presence approaching her from the back. She stiffened and naturally held her breath in. “Are you okay, Tae Tae?”

The frightened girl was expecting a tap on her shoulder but there wasn't any. It helped recalled the reason why. Ever since the incident, ever since she started pushing Tiffany away; Tiffany has tried to minimize the amount of physical contact to the least unless it was really called for. The realization made her heart ached once more.

“Tae T – ” Tiffany's eyes shot wide when she moved closer towards the girl and saw what was in her hands. “T... Tae Ta – ”

With a deep breath she inhaled, Taeyeon turned her body around and swung her arms, locking it behind the taller girl's neck. “Tippani... I'm... I'm so –rry...” Her hiccups were still present. “I'm re – ally sorry... I rea –lly am...”

“Tae...Tae...”
“I'm really... sorry. I was a fre..ak. I am an arsehole... I deserve every slap yo...u could give me.”
“Tae Tae...”
“I deserve whatever th...at you'll say to me, do to me... Anything... But... Just do...n't leave me. Never le...ave me Pani... Please. I l...ove you. I really... love you. More than anything in th...is world. More than my li...fe itself.”
“Tae Tae...”
“I l...ove you, Pani. I love... you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Please don't leave me. I really love you, I really do. Please forgive me. I... love you...”

Taeyeon's mind literally broke down that very moment. Whatever she spoke was what her heart was speaking. She did not have the ability to think that very moment. She only felt a strong desire to feel Tiffany in her arms, and tell her how much she loved her