YOU ARE MY EVERYTHING  Part I

ANONYMOUS

‘You are my everything.’

These words were pronounced over a million times to the very one she’d loved most in her entire life.

There were countless of times she has been afraid, and even doubts that had made her felt it wasn’t real; having the love of her life to herself wasn’t real. She has been abandoned, despised, toyed and treated like a fool by people around her; friends and ex lovers. No one ever truly appreciated her in her whole life –not even her parents and siblings.

Tiffany Hwang, lived an age of twenty-one and never once she’d felt as blissful at a moment like this. Being embraced with such warm arms that only conveyed the love she’d yearned for more than two decades were enough for her to live with the rest of her life.

Tilting her head an inch higher, her smiles couldn’t be hidden when she saw the serene look on her ardent love’s face. Tiffany snuggled even closer to the non-existing gap between them, not caring if the action would wake the latter up. She just needed to feel close – extremely close to the love of her life. Such insecurity often pushes her to do the excessive.

“Are you cold?” A groggy voice with hints of concern reverberated through the room.

Tiffany shook her head furiously and tightened her arms even further around the waist she’d locked. It caused a lazy chuckle from her lover before she felt a pair of hands cupping both sides of her cheeks, with a gentle force pulling north, directing their faces to be parallel.

“It’s ticklish when you do that. Your hair’s all a mess.” To her disappointment, Tiffany felt the left side of her cheek hit with coldness when the palm left her face – but was soon delighted once again when tender fingers were grazing across her forehead, and in between her locks after her bangs were tidied.

“Tae Tae… I love you.” Tiffany proclaimed her love yet again before snuggling into her lover’s chest once more.

Tae Tae – nickname given by Tiffany Hwang, her girlfriend, was none other than Kim Taeyeon; a famous artist known throughout Asia and definitely held some fame in the European countries. Exhibitions of her works were held all over the world and for a twenty one year old young woman, she has accomplished any artists would dream of in his or her whole life.

And how did the duo achieve the one-in-a-million opportunity of encounter in such a huge world? Call it fate—or perhaps it was time for Tiffany to have at least a chance at experiencing love.

It was nothing more than a convenient store located across her exhibition venue; a place nothing more than to elaborate on the meaning, common.

**

(Three months ago; January 2010)
“Aish! The snow is getting really bothersome.” A petite woman muttered to herself as she entered the convenient store with the glass doors sliding apart for her entrance.

Shaking her head with a certain force, snowflakes fell effortlessly towards gravity, with some landing on her boots and certain stubborn frozen flakes clung onto her locks of hair. Shrugging her shoulders, she proceeded nearer to the other end of the store, looming around the beverage section, looking for the desired coffee brand for a warm cup of coffee to soothe her freezing body.

“That would be ₩5,300. Thank you.” The cashier remitted the amount to the young looking lady.

“What? —Uh… I mean, okay. 5…300…” She fished her pocket with a few tattered Korean bills scrunched in her palm. Counting with the coins, she heaved a sigh and placed the cash on the counter, “Here.” And quickly grabbed the coffee cup before heading over to the pantry side, filling her coffee powder with steaming boiled water.

Fancy a cup of instant coffee worth 5,300? My goodness, what ever happened to Korea? Have I really left for that long? Taeyeon sipped her bitter beverage at the tall table stand with her continuous inner grumblings. And for a good ten minutes, she stood there enjoying her addiction before heading back to her exhibition and resume to her poker face.

“Can I have that pack of cigarettes?” She heard a voice rather alluring to ears and her attention instinctively perked towards the cashier counter.

“Are you legal, young lady?”
“I am not as young as I look, boy. I’m probably older than you.”
“Boy? Still, I have to see your id, Miss.”
“Fine.”

The short brunette had her eyes fixed at the area where the conversation was and she looked at both parties with curiosity. It started bothering her when she failed to have a glance at the lady who had asked for the pack of smoke. She was sure her voice was indeed a charm and she was interested in knowing if the face of the owner looked as enticing as her voice sounded.

Knowing her self-proclaim break time was almost over; she took cautious steps towards the sliding doors with nonchalant expressions stood on her face steadily as she walked passed the lady that had caught her slight interest.

“Thank you.” Sh*t.

Just as Taeyeon suspected, the young lady bumped right into her when the two were supposed to just pass by one another’s shoulder blade, having that brief wordless moment.

“I’m sorry!” The lady exclaimed in a horrified voice.

“I…It’s okay.” Taken aback by the overreaction, Taeyeon awkwardly bended her knees to have access to the cigarette pack that had fallen from the owner’s grip. “Yours?”

“Ah. Thank you.” The moment Taeyeon fixed her gaze on the features before her, she was stunned with something she didn’t knew it existed. What beauty smiles are those eyes portraying? “You are not hurt, are you?”

Taeyeon took a whole lot of effort to concentrate on the question brought to her rather than on the lovely eye smiles shinning too brightly, even in broad daylight. “Ah, no I am not. Are you?”

“Me? No. I bumped into you, not the other way.” Taeyeon heard her chuckled. “Sorry about earlier on. If you are really fine, I guess I will be on my way.”

The short brunette was not sure, but the eyes she was staring into were captivating something inside of her. She had no idea what, but it prolonged her stares when the latter started pacing out of the convenient store.

“W…Wait!” Taeyeon called out, rushing her steps out after the woman.

Halting her footsteps, the taller woman turned around to find Taeyeon’s bulging eyes fixing on her, seemingly having something stuck in , fighting for it to voice it out.

“Yes? Are you going to tell me you’re hurt? I have no money for compensation though.”
“What?! No! —I mean…no. I wanted to ask if you’re interested in art. There’s an exhibition across the street and would like to ask if you’re keen.”

She didn’t know what took over her, and it wasn’t as if she does this every so often. In fact, Taeyeon never initiates on anything, except for her work. When it comes to interpersonal relationships, she wasn’t and never will be the first to act—not until this woman.

“Art? I’m not sure…”
“It’s an open eye for anyone.”
“Well… I don’t actually mind. But I need my smoke first though.”
“Sure! It’s not ending that early anyway. Do you uh… mind if I stand with you while you have your smoke?”

The woman raised her right brow but shrugged and ignored the possibilities her brain has been trying to tell her, as her urge for a stick was more important. “I’m fine if you’re a second-hand.”

The duo stood along the pathway, few feet away from the convenient store with their backs against the concrete cement. Puffs of smoke escaping from the smoker while Taeyeon spat puffs of cold air from the cold snow lying all around them. Minutes passed and silence was engulfing them. It was unbearable which pushed Taeyeon to stir a conversation between the wait.

“I haven’t introduced myself. I’m Taeyeon. What’s your name?” She stretched her right arm forward, waiting for a handshake.

“Tiffany.” The woman replied and accepted the handshake. “I like your name. Taeyeon. Sounds good.”

“T…Thanks.” Pink shades involuntarily crept up the short brunette’s cheeks and it made Tiffany smiled. “Tiffany is a pretty name too.”

The curled up crescent lips fell immediately at her supposedly compliment before she heard the taller woman spoke, “I’ve heard that fairly lots of times.” She gave an almost unnoticed sigh before continuing, “But thanks anyway.”

Taking the last smoke on her stick, she threw her cigarette bud in to the trashcan before turning her head back towards Taeyeon and threw her another flash of eye smile.

“I’m done. Shall we get to the exhibition that you were talking about?”

**

(Present; April 2010)
“You say that everyday.”
“To let you know I really love you.”
“And vice versa, I love you too.”

“Make your words count, Tae Tae.” Tiffany tightened her wrap on her girlfriend’s waist and snuggled even further, making sure Taeyeon was real; very much in her arms and that she wouldn’t disappear when she open her eyes the next moment.

the long locks gently, a gentle smile landed on the older girl’s face. “You know I always do.”

This is not a dream. It’s the reality. Taeyeon’s here with me, all these while for the past two months. Even when she had needs to travel around the world, she had brought me with her. Taeyeon truly loves me, she does. It’s not going to be an imagination I’ve came up with. Taeyeon is here and will always be by my side.

Having the need to stretch, the older girl felt a sudden restriction on her waist when she had moved her limbs, “We should get up, shouldn’t we? My back hurts after two hours of lying on the couch.” Taeyeon coaxed the girl in her arms that looked as though afraid she might disappear.

“Where are you hurt, Tae Tae?!” Tiffany jolted up in an instance and started roaming her hands all over Taeyeon’s torso.

The shorter girl couldn’t help but exclaimed loud chuckles, while trying to calm her girlfriend’s anxious worries. “I’m f…fine, Pani… I… Hahhaah! I’m good! It’s ticklish, Pani ah!~”

“Oh! I’m sorry.”
“Don’t have to be, silly! Come here; give me a peck before I get up from the couch.

“Where are you going?” Tiffany asked, as she obliged to the request of her lover’s.

“I’m going to the kitchen to get some munchies for us, while you…” the brunette tidied a few stray bangs on her girlfriend’s forehead as she continued, “go and get a movie of your choice in the pile and wait for me, alright my beautiful lady?”

“You and your sweet words…”
“It’s only for you. And you know I meant every of it.”
“I want gummy worms.”
“You and your for worms.”

Tiffany stuck her tongue out at her wonderfully flawless girlfriend who was pacing towards the kitchen with her bare feet. Returned with a sheepish smile from Taeyeon, Tiffany quickly headed over to the rack of dvds and Blu-rays located by the side of the mounted wide-screen television against the wall, hoping to get over the headache of what movie to choose within a few moments.

“Popcorn, sodas, chips and gummy worms…. Perfect. Pani, are you done?” Taeyeon placed the stuffs on the glass table before the couch and had her eyes on the dark hair woman across the living room. “Pani?”

“This is too gory. This is too saddening. This has too much action. Cartoon, nah. Animation… Nope. Romance… Uh! But we’ve watched this… this… and this. Ugh… Nothing’s nice!” Taeyeon heard her girlfriend’s mumbles while staring at the back view of hers; squatting down with knees brought to her chin, apparently in deep considerations.

“My dear lovely, can’t get a decision in your mind?” Taeyeon whispered by Tiffany’s right ear after approaching the latter, circling her arms around and rested her chin on the right shoulder blade.

“Help me, Tae Tae?”
“My pleasure.”

The shorter girl smiled into the thick locks of hair while she blindly picked out one Blu-ray that her fingers first touched. “This will do.”

“That’s horror!”
“All the more for you to be closer to me.”

Taeyeon smirked and interlaced her fingers with her girlfriend as she inserted the Blu-ray into the player and led them towards the comfortable pink couch located in the center of the living room.

**

(August 2010)
“I am useless, ain’t I? That is why no body loves me, from the very first day I came onto this earth.” Sobbing was so evidently echoing through the room, across the whole penthouse, filling the entire premise with nothing but tears and hiccups. Taeyeon was despaired as she stared agonizingly at her girlfriend after her umpteen futile tries of getting to the broken girl who was scrunched up into a human ball.

Each attempt to hold the girl was quickly shoved away by her girlfriend. She cursed herself mentally, for everything was her fault.

“I’m sorry, Pani. I shouldn’t have brought you there without your consent. I thought I could help, but I made it worse. Pani, please don’t cry anymore.” Tears were on the verge of Taeyeon’s eyes as she stood there helplessly, staring at her hurtful girlfriend.

“No, Tae Tae. It’s my entire fault, my own. I am useless, unlovable and doubtlessly loathsome. It’s not you.” Tiffany continued to weep endlessly.

It has been for a good twenty minutes since the couple had reached home and also the same among of time tears had been shedding. Taeyeon being engulfed in heartache dropped to her knees with a loud thud and moved inch by an inch nearer her lover. Words were coming out, pleading, as her knees scraped across the wooden floor.

It brought attention to Tiffany when she heard the impact of collision and she lifted her head just a thumb-space away from her soaked knees. “Tae Tae…”

“I am sorry, Pani. If all you can do now is to cry, at least do so leaning on me. Don’t push me away – not even if you think it’s for my own goodness. Please, forgive me and take me in your arms, will you?” Taeyeon pleaded literally.

There has been no pride or ego for Tiffany to start with, especially towards Taeyeon. She simply bawled after stretching out both her arms and circled her tightly by the waist when the shorter girl had reached within her grasp. “Tae Tae… What have I done to be so unworthy of love? Not even from my own parents? Am I really that abhorrent for no one to love?”

“Silly. I love you, don’t I? I say that to you every day to let you know you are lovable. More than anything else in the world, you’re an angel.” Taeyeon tried to soothe the broken girl even if she was tearing herself. “You are my life. And you are nothing close to being unworthy. You worth all the happiness in the world and I will do anything to give you that.”

“Tae Tae…”
“Pani… I’m sorry. Please don’t cry anymore. I’m hurt when you tear for the wrong reason.”

“I love you, Tae Tae. I love you.” Her words were trembling, but Taeyeon knew it was from the bottom of her heart. “I really do. I cannot do without you. Not for one moment.”

“I know, Pani. I know. And I can’t do without you either, you know that.” The shorter girl her lover’s hair gently, remaining in the same discomforting posture for as long as it would take for the girl to cease her