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Italics = thoughts/flashback

♫ Purple Bold Italics = Song lyrics



♫ My heart hurts so much

So I can’t listen to any guidance

I guess, maybe I should’ve stayed longer, deeper in love ♫


“Hey buddy, why are you hesitating? You should confess to her already! Go on before she’s really taken” Yuri signaled Taeyeon as she gave the leader a jab on her arm.

“No...I don’t think I should Yuri”

“Why?”

“Just because...” Taeyeon briefly answered before making her way out of the room, leaving a confused Yuri staring at her silhouette.



♫ I didn’t know there was love in this heart

Like a fool, I didn’t know

Tears filled my eyes, that’s when I realized ♫


Taeyeon took a peek into the room where Tiffany was. It was another weekend that the two best friends had arranged for Taeyeon to have a sleepover in Tiffany’s room thus here Taeyeon was, trying to find the right moment to scare Tiffany.

Taeyeon fought hard to battle for Tiffany’s whereabouts since the door was only slightly ajar. It took the dorky leader a full minute to locate Tiffany’s position. Taeyeon was about to push open the door but paused as Tiffany’s phone rang.

“Hi Dad!”

“Yes dad, I’m doing fine in Korea”

“Marriage? On the 27th of August?!”

Taeyeon’s eyes bulged wide open at the mention of marriage. It didn’t make matters any better as the conversation continued.

“But dad isn’t it a little too soon? I have to go for practices and recordings...”

Unable to listen to the conversation anymore, Taeyeon went back to her room and locked the door shut. Taeyeon was never more grateful that her room was vacant since Sunny was having a sleepover at Sooyoung’s room.

“She’s getting married...” Taeyeon spoke to herself with disbelief present in her tone.

“And it seems like it’ll be soon...” Taeyeon continued as tears slowly formed at the side of her eyes. “But why am I feeling this way? Why does my heart hurts?” The small droplets soon fell from her eyes. Taeyeon attempted to rub away the tears but no matter how many times did, it continued to stream down her face like a miniature rain “Why am I crying?”

“Is this what they call...love?” Taeyeon asked her pea cushion.

“...”

Upon receiving no response from the green pea, Taeyeon snickered before she continued “I guess there’s also love in this heart...”

That night, Taeyeon suffocated the pea cushion as she hugged it tightly throughout the lonely darkness.



♫ The moment I sent you away

I guess I loved you too much

I’m happy I was able to say goodbye

So that I may let you go

You have to meet a good man

You have to be happier than anyone else

I don’t regret being loved, I’ll let you go ♫



It had been two days since Taeyeon had found out about Tiffany’s marriage and ever since that night, Taeyeon’s behavior had changed tremendously. Taeyeon would often avoid having eye contact or being alone with Tiffany. The two best friends had not talked to one another for two days already. Tiffany would approach Taeyeon but the older girl would she kept herself occupied as she diverge her attention to the other members.

Not wanting Tiffany to misunderstand that she was being angry, Taeyeon decided to pen down her feelings.


Dear Fany,

I’m too ashamed to see you so I’ll just write down my thoughts on this paper. I know I’ve been acting weird lately, and I’m sorry to overhear your conversation with your Dad. Since I’m penning this down, I have more courage to confess to you; I know you’re getting married.

Even thought my heart hurts because of this, I’ll still let you go because I believe you’ll find happiness with him...He’s a good man right? You have to find a good one...I know it’s weird for me to say this, but I’m sorry, I can’t bring myself to talk to you, let even face you, because I think...I think I’m in love with my best friend.

It is funny isn’t it? I didn’t know this heart could find love too. Maybe it’s because you’re cute and caring and maybe the reason is because of your beautiful eye smiles. But I guess, maybe all these aren’t true because I love you for being you.

You are beautiful and you know it right? Every time a bug appears and you used your charming eyes on me, that is when I find you most beautiful. You make me want to exterminate every single pest on earth because I hate to see you scared.

I know this love is forbidden, but what can I do when my heart feels this way? It is alright though, I have no intentions for you to pity me, let alone accept me and I...I don’t regret loving you, not at all...

The only thing I hope is that you can give me some time to overcome this problem. I promise I’ll be back with a stronger me, so let’s just give ourselves some time, okay?

Once again, I’m really sorry for feeling this way, please forgive me.

Be happy.

Taetae


Her feelings were conveyed in the letter, but just as how her character was, Taeyeon couldn’t find the courage to hand it to Tiffany.



♫ Shifting eyes, I hear it close to my ear

I still hear your voice and it makes me cry

The most beautiful moment of all

I guess I can’t say even a word

It’s difficult and challenging saying these words again

“I miss you so much” ♫



Taeyeon walked down the Han River as flashbacks of the past came into her head.


Flashback

It was Taeyeon’s birthday and Tiffany had bought a birthday cake to celebrate. The Soshi members were taking a break from the recording when a reporter took the chance to ask Taeyeon “What do you want for your birthday present?”

“Tiffany’s love is enough for me” Taeyeon answered only to receive a surprised look from Tiffany.

Tiffany eyed Taeyeon as formed an ‘O’ shape as she replied “Oooh...Taeyeon’s love is enough for me too”

Taeyeon laughed heartily, a little embarrassed of their behavior but truth to be told, she was actually feeling great inside her.

-End of flashback-


“Taeyeon’s love is enough for me too”

Thinking back now, Taeyeon felt that she must have been the happiest girl on earth that day.

Taeyeon shut her eyes as she held onto the bar tightly; no words could express her feelings right now. That was how powerful Tiffany’s love was.

A lone tear started to fall down Taeyeon’s face and it was soon accompanied by a new stream of salty droplets.

I miss you...



♫ The moment I sent you away

I guess I loved you too much

I’m happy I was able to say goodbye

So that I may let you go

You have to meet a good man

You have to be happier than anyone else

I don’t regret being loved, I’ll let you go ♫



Her grip on the bas loosened. Taeyeon slowly raised her head as she stared into the vast River. It was as if heaven had understood the pain she was feeling as rain started to fall freely from the sky.

Taeyeon stretched out a hand to collect the little droplets before clasping her hand to embrace them. Her cheeks were soon drenched and it wasn’t clear if the rain or her tears ma