DRUNK PART 2 --Intoxicated--

 

 

She kept staring at the door, the same closed door that was now absent of a person who was just there a few minutes ago.

 

Her fingertips grazed the surface and ironically it felt smooth and cold--- the faux paint gave the illusion of the texture being rough and grainy but she swiftly let go of such a trivial information. She kept her hand on the surface, touching it, only to keep her body moving while her mind drifted to that one person again.

 

Her.

 

There was always that nagging feeling of vulnerability whenever Taeyeon left her behind after a night of drunkenness and the emotion of a gaping absence brought more weight on this instance. Suddenly, the words and the scene that just ocurred half an hour back replayed in her head like a cinematic reel, the three words kept ringing inside her consciousness, like it was the only thing she had heard from her all morning.

 

“Tae.”

 

It was nothing but her name that she was able to mumble. Somehow, even the word left her a feeling of longing after it left her lips.

 

“Taeyeon-ah.”

 

Tiffany managed to inhale and she did, deeply, filling her lungs to the brim and supplying her body with much needed oxygen. Surprisingly, her headache that could have cracked her skull into halves had disappeared and what remained was the lingering face of her best friend leaving the door.  A build-up of carbon dioxide alerted her brain to exhale; hurting her yet the pain wasn’t in her lungs. It lied right in the organ in the middle of it. This time, it was her heart that was tearing apart, yet, the answer to her question as to why, had already left the spaces from her fingertips.

 

All she knew was that Taeyeon was the only one who could satiate that gap.

 

Just her.

 

"Tae."

 

The familiar buzz of her door startled her and she snapped out of her thoughts.  A smirk had dawned on her face and oddly, the smile that filled her cheeks made the doubts go away.  

 

There was that filling of the gap again, slowly but surely, and excitement rushed to her veins and arteries, like a new set of adrenaline had just been pumped to her system.

 

“Taetae! I knew you’d be back!” she yelled at the top of her lungs, repulsing all the excitement she felt even before she opened the cold grainy door.

 

“Hey.”

 

Unfortunately, the adrenaline dissolved as fast as it came.

 

“Babe?”

 

His brows met in the middle as he made a step towards his girl. “Hey, weren’t you expecting me? Why were you calling for Taeyeon? I thought she was just with you?”

For the first time, Tiffany could not understand why the person that should have fixed the hole vanished in front of her eyes and yet, there was someone else, someone in particular who was very important to her that should have already made her complete stood before her yet the hole remained unfilled.

 

“Oppa.”

 

“Babe,” he started, feeling sorry while taking one of her hands and lifting it up his face to give the back of it a kiss, “I apologize for yesterday.  It won’t happen again, I promise. We’ll work things out, okay? We’ll be wed in a few months and it’s a shame for me to have acted that way. Forgive this stupid fool, would you? Okay?”

 

“I—“

 

A set of lips immediately landed on hers and she just kept staring at the opposite wall of the hallway like it was a blank sheet of paper meant to be written with an essay of her feelings for him.

 

But it remained blank.

 

She scampered for words to explain how she felt but then the only thing she knew inside of her was that someone else’s lips felt softer against hers. Lips that felt like heaven, like cotton and feather on her skin. Lips that rendered her frozen yet warm, digging up the pile of emotions that were long buried beneath her. Lips that meant more than familiarity for they were the seal that completed her. Those were the lips that completed the arc of her emotions into a full circle---her whole.

 

“Tiff? Babe?”

 

But she woke up to a pair of eyes that were as black as the hidden marshes that her up like a piece of restraint she could not escape.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“Huh?”

 

For another second, she contemplated on why she was thinking of another person while her fiancée had just kissed her.

 

“I asked if you were okay.”

 

She looked past the black orbs and concentrated on the person before her. In his eyes, she saw herself but then again, her mind shifted to her best friend, to Taeyeon.

 

“Ah yeah.”

 

“Did you drink? I could taste tequila.”

 

Automatically, her hand lifted up to her face and her index brushed over her bottom lip, as if she was trying to trace the alcohol in her tongue.

 

“Yeah. Kind of.”

 

“Oh. I guess I should thank Taeyeon for bringing you home then. She said you were quite drunk. She explained everything to me and she even enlightened me on taking care of you better. It’s quite funny how she even threatened me with my head if I ever hurt you." His cockiness mellowed as he caressed her hair. "You’ve got a very protective best friend but I’m glad she takes good care of you so well.”

 

Taeyeon had called him that’s why he called and came here. If it weren’t for her, who knew what might have happened again to this relationship? It replayed again and again in her brain. It was the only reason she could concoct in her head. She wondered whether without Taeyeon telling him about last night, he wouldn’t have even come up this morning to resolve matters between them.

 

Tiffany… I love you, too.

 

Only five words and they now affected her beyond the bounds of friendship.

 

“Have you had breakfast? Why don’t we have a meal together? I think I smell Taeyeon’s famous hangover pancakes. What do you think babe?”

 

The man before her kept prodding and yet again, there was only one woman in her mind.

 

 “Hmm.” Her hands found their way around her man and she engulfed in his warmth and scent, trying to find comfort. She was searching her brain, remembering all the occasions she got drunk and wasted but all she could recall was Taeyeon being there for her on each morning.

 

The embrace was reciprocated and he swayed her in his arms. “Are you really okay, babe?”

 

Am I okay? She asked herself that question and although she should say yes, the gaping hole only widened as she tightened her grip.

 

“Y-yeah. I think so.” She loosened the hug and gave him a peck on the cheek.

 

 I should be.

---------------

 

 

 

“…”

 

“Taengoo.”

 

“…”

 

“Taeyeon.”

 

“…”

 

“All hail, the greatest artist from Seoul who will put Rembrandt and Van Gogh to shame, Kim Taeyeon!”

 

“What?”

 

Finally, Taeyeon snapped out of her trance and glared at her secretary in the most dominating and fearsome way she could muster but to no avail, Yuri just sneered and pointed at the piece of paper that had been lying on her desk for the past 10 minutes.

 

“All I need is your signature so I can ask the company to deliver the painting to be auctioned for charity,” Yuri reprimanded with an unwanted roll of the eyes. “I’ve been waiting for you to pick up your pen, boss.”

 

“Oh.”

 

She immediately grabbed a signing pen from her jacket. With a little scribble and a careful curve from one point to another, she finished her signature with the date. For a second, Taeyeon paused as she deliberated on the number. It had been more than a couple days since she had not seen nor heard from Tiffany and considering they almost talk to each other every single night before going to bed, it was rather apt to say that she was already experiencing some sort of withdrawal.

 

“And I’ll take that. Thank you!” Yuri drawled as she slipped the paper under Taeyeon’s hand like a carpet rug under a table. Yuri double-checked on the document and inspected the signature for safety measure before she commented again. “Did I tell you that your signature awfully looks like a butterfly? It’s pretty. Gosh, even your signature is artsy fartsy.”

 

“Is there anything else, Yuria-ah?” she said gloomily, disregarding the jest.

 

“For now, nothing else. The ‘young stars’ painting will be shipped to France on the week after next and the gallery for the 18th has been scheduled. Looks like another sold-out. I’ve invited your patrons as well as some big-named politicians who had expressed their liking to your works. Other than those, there seems to be nothing else of immediate concern.”

 

“Okay then.”

 

Yuri had tucked the paper Taeyeon had signed into a neat folder and waved her hand.  “Okay. Other than your professional life, there is nothing of concern. However, when it comes to personal matters, well, I bet there is something worth discussing, don’t you think?  You’ve been spacing out for days now, Taengoo. It’s kind of unhealthy for business.”

 

“I don’t think so. You’re just nosy as usual.“

 

“No, I’m not. Eyes into blank walls, constant sighing and shoulders slumped forward like you just lost your house. I’m your secretary Taeng and aside from that, I’m also your friend, “Yuri pointed out while buffing her fingernails on her blazer, “so when I say you were spacing out, you were spacing out.”

 

“You don’t know me,” she said back defiant.

 

Yuri stood up, made her way to Taeyeon’s back and rested her arm on her shoulder.

 

“Look here buddy. I know you enough to tell you that you’ve been in love with Tiffany for years and you make love to each other without her really knowing. And by the time you’re done, you give her back to that pompous fiancée of hers. I don’t understand you to be honest.  Only a masochist does that to herself. And you are one; a coward to move past your emotions. You know you have to option to fight for it or to move on. Your choice, just saying.”

 

Taeyeon dropped her pen deliberately on the table and fisted her hands. The words hurt but they were true. They carved harder and deeper knowing it had to come out of Yuri for the millionth time. It was probably the pride or the pain of the reality of her situation but either way, she knew Yuri reminding her regularly about it made things much tougher to deal.

 

Her hands relaxed and she slumped back while exhaling rather loudly.

 

“By the way Taengoo, are you sure about your decision with that Japan offer? I still haven’t sent back a reply knowing you change your mind on the last minute. Is it a green signal all the way?”

 

With a little jerk of her shoulder, she let Yuri’s touch of concern slip.

 

“Yeah. Give them the acknowledgement.”

 

Yuri cleared and exhaled in exasperation.

 

“You’re running away, you know. Tiffany’s wedding will be in three months.”

 

“I know that. Even better.”

 

“Kim Taeyeon, you’re going to regret this. I just know it.”

 

The full name just meant Yuri was serious in making her sway her thoughts but her decision was final. She had been deliberating on it for the past month. It was the best thing for her and Tiffany. Love for her meant she had to set her free, to let her best friend be happy, even if it meant that she’ll never have her.

 

The times and love they shared while Tiffany was wasted was ironically going to be wasted.

 

“You always tell me to move on Yuri-ah. I’m just doing it as you say. It’s for the best.”

 

There was a lingering pause between the two and it was Yuri who decided to break the solemn atmosphere.

 

“Okay. Fine. It’s your call. You know I’m here for you little buddy. No matter what.” Yuri remarked, patting her head while Taeyeon swiftly swatted the hand away.

 

“Someone has to babysit you like always.”

 

“Shut up. Stop treating me like a kid. I’m still your boss,” she barked, ditching the puppy treatment Yuri was giving her, “By the way, you do know you’re coming with me

to Japan. You know that, right?”

 

Yuri just smiled, understanding that Taeyeon wanted to leave the topic.

 

“Yeah, I know but seriously, is that how you propose to me? To elope with you in a month? Oh, come on Taengoo. I’m kind of disappointed. I was expecting flowers, the

fireworks and everything. Not to mention a diamond ring.”

 

“What?” asked Taeyeon with a bewildered look on her face, “did you just hit your head or should I do that to you now?”

 

Yuri surrendered her hands in the air. “Gosh. Lighten up, will you? I was just kidding.”

 

Taeyeon glared while Yuri laughed away. “Whatever. I have to live with you for two years. Now, would you please leave me alone now? You’re free to create havoc in my life after a month.”

 

“You really are overly sensitive. Tiffany was right. Such a surprise how she always gets away with it with you.”

 

Taeyeon turned her head away and spaced out again.

 

“Right.” Yuri said after realizing her mistake. “Sorry about that.”

 

“It’s whatever,” she said with an annoyed wave of the hand but before Yuri could step out of her small office, she mumbled her gratitude. “Hey Yuri-ah.”

 

“Yep?”

 

“Thanks. I owe you so much already.”

 

“No problem,” Yuri said with a nod. But before she could close the door, she ought to remind Taeyeon once again. “Yah, Taeng. I know this knowing I have to say this again and again but I really think you should consider that one thing I told you about. She deserves to know. You’re being unfair keeping it hidden. It might not work out but it’s better to come clean, especially before the wedding. That way, you’ll allow yourself to be free and live a new life elsewhere in case you wouldn’t want to come back.”  

The silence fell on them again to the point a needle falling on the floor could crush their eardrums.

 

“I… I don’t know what you’re talking about Yuri-ah.”

 

“Oh, you know what I mean. Stop ignoring it,” Yuri said sternly as she grabbed hold of the knob. “Just do it before you go, okay? If not for yourself then at least do it for

Tiffany.”

 

Taeyeon picked up another folder in her table and busied herself with nonsense. She knew she had to do it but she was scared--- terrified of losing everything. But then she knew regardless of what she did, she was bound to lose her everything.

 

“Taengoo.”

 

She sighed and dropped the folder back on the tabletop. “Fine. I’ll think about it.” Her eyes strayed back to the one at the door and deadpanned. “I said fine. What now,

Yuri-ah?”

 

“Nothing,” Yuri responded with shoulder leaning against the frame of the door. “Most of the time, we need our brains to make our decisions, to make the right one and to consider what is best. But there are times you also have to consider your heart,” she gave a courteous nod to Taeyeon which was returned with an uneasy smile, “coz you’ll never know that listening to your heart may also be the best decision and what is right.”

 

Taeyeon drowned in Yuri’s words. Yet again, her mind chose what she thought wasn’t wrong.

 

“I guess so.”

 

Yuri finally surrendered, knowing it would take a drill and a jackhammer to get through Taeyeon’s thick skull. “Okay boss, whatever you say.”

 

The moment the door closed, Taeyeon resigned in her chair, looking at her ceiling as she fought to keep her heart from bursting. She opened up drawer and pulled out a small metal flask.  She wasn’t a drinker but the impending confrontations prompted her thirsty for a temporary quench, hopefully enough to drown her swirling thoughts.

The oak-barreled whiskey cut through her palate but it wasn’t enough to cut her through her sentiments.

 

Along with the small volume of alcohol, she picked up a picture of her and Tiffany from under several files and she brought it up it her face. In one swift motion, she tore the photo in halves.

 

“This is for the best. She deserves to be happy. She doesn’t have to know everything.” A tear unconsciously rolled from the edge of her eye, freefalling then from her cheek. The pieces of the picture followed thereafter. “Sometimes, what is best and what is right are just two separate things.”

__________

 

 

 

 

“Pany-ah, are you even paying attention?”

 

She was looking at her phone, typing a message but then she erased it all up again before settling the device back on the table next to her cup of coffee.

 

“Sorry, Sunny. Yes, what were we talking about again?”

 

“The flower arrangements and the guests’ positions in the tables for the reception.” Sunny pointed out to the blueprint of the event’s location. “I was talking about using some pink lilies for the centerpieces and mix them with white lotus to create that baby pink hue then we can have the tables allocated here and… Pany-ah, not again…

Where’s your head on thi