"Do you know what's so hard about being too strong? Nobody might care to ask if you are hurt."
-Sydney Rogers 

On returning to the dorm I saw EXO huddled in the living room. Baekhyun was patting D.O. ‘s shoulder. “What happened?” I asked them. ‘Are they so worked up over JR?’ I wondered. “Kai’s been called to Mr.Lee’s office.  He sounded angry so we’re a little worried.” answered Lay.

 It dawned on me that he might be in trouble because of the pictures I sent Mr. Lee as a prank. ‘Oh no. Oh no. Please don’t let him shout too much at Kai. Please don’t let him get into so much of trouble.‘ I prayed. ‘It was his fault. He started with the pranks. He should never have messed with you.’ the other side of me argued. Everyone was ready to go for practice but they wouldn't leave without Kai.

I sat down on the couch beside Tao and ruffled his hair. He looked so lost. A quiet knock was heard. All of them got up and rushed towards it. I stayed put scared for what was to come. Just when we had started to tolerate the sight of each other one mail had messed it all up.

Kai looked crushed. His shoulders were slumped, he dragged his feet and sat at the table and put his head down on it. He was trying to exercise control over his feeling . “Kai?” Suho called. “Bro relax.. We got your back no matter what.” Kris reassured him. “I think you should leave him alone for a while. He’ll feel a little better that way.” I told them from the living room.  I just wanted him to talk and I knew he would react if I said something.

 He got up and stalked towards me. “Are you finally happy?” he asked pulling me up by the shoulders. I looked at the floor to hide the guilt that I felt. “Look at me damn it. If you had the courage to take this so far then have the courage to look me in the eye after doing it. Stop playing innocent and fooling all of them.” he said pointing to the rest of EXO who now stood helplessly.

“Do you know what it feels like? Staying away from your family training for more than ten hours a day? Having no guarantee that you’re going to debut? Having to audition twice? Being scared if the fans will accept you?  Debuting, getting accepted and then coming so close to losing it all just because some stupid girl wanted revenge?” he asked gripping my arm harder with every question.

“You don’t? Do you?” he said letting go off my hand. “You’re just another fake who wants to get close to EXO and other groups hanging around with different groups at different times. You probably came here because everyone back in America was sick and tired of you.” he spat  and marched back to the kitchen.  

“Let’s go for practice.” he said,holding the door open, letting everyone file out. He left without a second glance at me and slammed the door shut behind him. The sound of my pride shattering was probably that loud as well. ‘He was right. I had no rights to judge him. It’s his life and he’s worked hard for it. What I did was way out of line.’ I scolded myself.  

‘I should stop deluding myself into thinking they are my friends. They’re obviously going to support him even if my intentions weren't wrong.  I’m going to stay strong, Do my job and leave.  Pabo. You deserve it.’ I said to myself.  

Slowly the slow trickle of tears turned into full fledged water works. I don’t now what hurt more, that fact that I was guilty, the fact that Kai hated me, the fact that my pride had just been shattered or that fact that no one from EXO stood by my side.

A\N: Don't hate me! T.T  Just curious, who expected this?   

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