#2 - “Sometimes it just gets too hard to keep pretending.”

Hoseok x You

Word Count: 520

Jung Hoseok was tired. He could feel it through every bit of his body, aching in his bones and joints. This fatigue was dragging him down, making it hard to put one foot in front of the other. With each text message, each call, each glance, each smile, each kiss, it exhausted him. He didn’t know how much more he could take and a part of him wished he could just turn back the hands of time. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t. He needed to do this.

He wasn’t a coward. Or he used to not be.

But there it was again. Your bright smiling face, gazing up into his eyes with all the love in the world. It was like you were seeing a spectacular world of fairies and flowers, paradise was in your grasp, love and sunshine, everything warm and fuzzy. It crushed him every time. Made Hoseok stutter, stumble and retreat.

“Hoseok oppa?”

You questioned as he took your hands in his, thumbs rubbing circles into the top of your hands, so much that if you were the beach, there would be a big hole that Hoseok has somehow dug without realizing. It was something to be comforting but to whom, he wasn’t even sure anymore.

“Sometimes it jsut gets too hard to keep pretending.” The words slipped without him realizing it, so softly that you could barely catch them.

“I need you to listen to me, okay?” Hoseok in a deep breath and that bright sunny paradise, with all the beautiful colors you could ever imagine started to grow dark and ominous, the light was fading from your eyes as the storm clouds rolled in and anxiety gripped like a vice.

When Hoseok raised his eyes back to yours, he could see it, you knew, he knew you knew but it still needed to be said out loud. It needed confirmation, not just for you but for him as well. A final resolution to what had been plaguing the man for the last couple of weeks, that he had hidden away because he couldn’t bare to be the cause of the loss of your smile. He still thought it was one of the most beautiful things in the world. He always would.

“Ah… We should break up.”

There was no hesitance in his words, his voice and mind was clear, his eyes shone strong with conviction and the smile you always wore around him was gone. He knew it would be, he knew you would shut down, distance yourself immediately. As much as he knew you wouldn’t believe this hurt him too, it did. You were a wonderful girl but somewhere along the way Hoseok realized you just weren’t the girl for him.

Watching as he shattered your world, the one you had still be so wrapped up in, believing it was real, he pulled you close. Murmuring comforting words into your hair, as he pressed your head to his chest, ignoring the wetness spilling through his shirt, because he still cared. He always would, just not in that way. Not anymore, and not for awhile.