#99 - "How many times do I have to tell you?"

Hoseok x You

Word Count: 766

Hoseok loomed over you, left hand gripping the arm of your chair while his right rested on the top of the back of your chair. His piercing eyes didn’t leave yours as he just stared at you. He stared and he stared and he stared. To the point that you began to squirm despite every bit of your mind yelling at your body not to do so. You hated appearing weak in front of another but here you were, squirming in your seat while your boyfriend loomed over you in what anyone else might mistake to be an ominous encounter.

“How many times do I have to tell you?” He grinds out each word excruciatingly slow.

You decide it’s better to just blink, just blink up at him and let him say what he wants to say. You know that he’s frustrated, you understand why he’s frustrated but it’s also not something you can really help. Just as much as you can’t help the way Hoseok manages to make your whole body tingle in warmth with just a smile, you can’t help but shake the insecurities that he’s going to run off with someone else.

“Hmm? How many times do I have to tell you I love you? How many times do I have to show you I love you? I don’t want anyone else Hana-yah!” His words are pointed, edged, laced with an intenseness you hadn’t experienced before but had always knew it was bubbling beneath the surface. Jung Hoseok is more than just a bright, pretty smile. It was one of the reasons you had fallen in love with him.

Casting your eyes down, you squeezed them shut to push away the tears. They were stinging, wanting to spill over so bad and not because you were scared. No, you were never scared of Hoseok but the guilt you had for making him this upset, for causing him to over and over placate your irrational fears. It hurt, it hurt him and that hurt you. It was an endless cycle that you weren’t sure how to break.

“Look at me.” He spoke the words soft but firm. Raising your eyes, you knew he could see they had become watering and the slight downturn of his lips showed you that it was enough to hurt him. You had hurt him yet again. His right hand lifted from the chair and cupped your cheek, thumb caressing your soft skin.

“Jagi… Jagi, I-I don’t know how to reassure you anymore but I love you. I love you so much. You’re my moon, my stars, my sun, you’re always showing me the light no matter how dark it gets around me. I need you, don’t do this please.”

Jung Hoseok was begging you. He was begging you and that hurt. Why should he be doing such a thing. If anyone should be begging it was you.

“I-I know-”

“Do you really? Because we’re right back in this spot Hana.” He wasn’t being as gentle as he normally is and maybe that was for the best. Maybe his gentleness was actually a crutch you had been clinging onto for far too long. Taking in a deep breath you wiped the barely there tears and nodded up at him.

“I’m sorry, Hoseok-ah. I do know. You’re all those things and more for me. I’ll try to end this. It’s not fair to you. I love you too much.”

The hardness in his eyes softened and he moved his hand that you had knocked away to wipe your eyes back to your cheek. His other one coming up as well. Pressing his forehead against yours, Hoseok closed his eyes and spoke with all the tenderness he could put into the tone of his words.

“Jagi, it’s okay. Just let me know when you start to feel this way, when you need more attention. Let’s not let it get this far. I don’t want to lose you but we have to fix this, okay?” He pulled back, once again pinning you with his eyes. He needed this confirmation from you, he needed you to try to put an end to this irrational insecurities that he would never call as such because he was that good of a guy and so very understanding. You nodded.

“I promise.”

Tingling warmth spread throughout your body, that bright, beautiful and loving smile he always only gave to you was present. Hoseok softly pressed his lips to yours in a chaste but sweetest and most loving kiss you had ever shared with anyone.

You could do this.