#102 - “Even if I die, it’s only you, without you, tears fill up my heart, it’s just black hell, to me that’s who you are.”

TaeJin

Word Count: 764

As Seokjin stood in the back of the crowd, sweaty bodies jostling him here and there, he wondered what he was doing. It had been a snap decision. He shouldn’t have come. He didn’t need to be here. He didn’t need to see Seokjin here. In fact, it didn’t seem like he had even noticed him. The band on the stage had been playing a set of songs, the lead singer Jimin crooning into his microphone, every now and then the drummer would sing some backup vocals as if he didn’t have enough to do already.

This is where Seokjin had originally met his ex-boyfriend. Just a friend of a groupie, until he felt like he turned into one as well. It seemed like they were all he talked about, planned how to take off of school to make it to all the gigs and follow the band around. Somehow, his friends and him became recognized by the band. They would point to Seokjin in the crowd, Jimin would sing lyrics as he’d sing them right back at them. The way his heart felt like it would burst and lungs strained was like nothing he had ever experienced before.

Falling in love with the bassist wasn’t what he had planned but there the two of them were, falling and falling and falling some more. It was an endless descent and everything happened so fast. Love? Hah, he didn’t even know what that was. Everything Taehyung and Seokjin had were quickly stolen moments, secret text message exchanges, some muffled phone calls and all the kisses he could ever want, outside the venue in the out van the staff used. It seemed like both of them always craved for more but could never get it. Even worse, the same groupie that he was, well there were others with flirtatious smiles, more beautiful than Seokjin could ever be and he watched on countless occasions as Taehyung returned those smiles, with a wink to boot.

Whatever it was came crashing down just as fast. Seokjin no longer went to shows, he no longer text, Seokjin no longer waited for his call. So, why was he here right now? In the back of a crowd he had no passion for… Taehyung messaged him. It was short and sweet, just a date and time but he knew what he wanted. Or Seokjin thought he did. Seokjin wasn’t going to go, he had other plans. Yet, last minute Seokjin ditched them, some niggling feeling in his chest made him drop everything just like how he used to go and go.

Shifting from foot to foot, he debated, biting his lip as the anxiety threatened to swallow him whole.

“This is stupid. What are you doing?”

Muttering under his breath, Seokjin shook his head and his heel. Pushing people aside with his shoulder, he started to make his way towards the exit. A loud strum of a bass guitar, freezing him in place. Seokjin didn’t turn around, he couldn’t even if he wanted to. What he wasn’t expecting was to hear a deep, smooth, rich voice, his deep, smooth, rich voice and it shook his soul.

“Even if I die, it’s only you,

without you,

tears fill up my heart,

it’s just black hell,

to me that’s who you are”

Seokjin’s feet were moving before he could stop them, in less than a second he were facing the front of the stage and saw the man he previously thought he had fallen in love with and now just couldn’t make heads or tails out of any of his feelings. Taehyung had found him, there was no way that he was staring at anyone but him; he could feel those eyes he had grown so familiar with over the last three years gazed directly at him. Taehyung never sang, never. He refused even though he has a beautiful voice, or at least Seokjin had always thought it was so. If he thought he was a mess over the last couple of months, Seokjin was even more of a mess now. Pushing his way through the crowd, Seokjin managed to make it to the front before the song was over. Holding onto the railing he stared up in awe at the man who if nothing else created too many emotions in him.

Taehyung swung his bass around to his back and squatted down at the edge of the stage, he stared at Seokjin with those bright starry eyes he always swore he could see the galaxy in.

“I love you.”