#102 - “In this devastated world, there isn’t anyone who hasn’t lost something important.”

Hoseok x You

Word Count: 617

It wasn’t like you to run away home. It wasn’t like you to sit in dark corners and cry your eyes out. It wasn’t like you to let anyone see you in such a state. Here you were though, sitting in the dark at the one person's house you never wanted to see you in such a state. A small chair was placed in the corner of the basement turned living room, it’s where you decided to curl up to. The lights were all off at your request. A trick of the mind, if he couldn’t see your face then he couldn’t actually see how much you were crying, how weak you had become, how angry you were.

The relationship with your parents, you had always thought it had been so open. Wrong. They were liars. They hid something they never should have hid from you. Was it better for you not to know? Was it better? Who are they to decide that. Your father was still your father. Your biological father was also still your biological father and if he died twelve years ago as a deserter, shouldn’t you be aware of it? Isn’t it your own right to come to peace with his absence in your life in any way that you happen to do so? Was it right that you were so angry at this man for twelve years for not bothering to come around to see you when he couldn’t even if he wanted to. He was dead. Gone from this world. Truly you just felt like you had been robbed of so much and absolutely nothing at all.

Hoseok was there. He was there when you showed up on his back porch. He was there as you sort of let yourself through his back door without permission. He was there as you cried your eyes out on his chair. He was there, steady, quiet, comforting just by being there. He didn’t ask what was going on, he didn’t push or prod. He just sat there next to you, holding your hand. You could feel the only warmth from his thumb rubbing gentle circles on the top of your hand. Everywhere else was numb. Besides a few occasional sniffles, the sobbing had passed. Tears were drying up, as if you could have any water left to shed. You didn’t think so.

“In this devastated world, there isn’t anyone who hasn’t lost something important.”

The only words Hoseok offered you, a friend, a person who had always toed the line with you between friends and more, a man gave you such a profound statement. Some might grow angry and lash out but oddly, these words calmed you. The lion that seemed to be roaring in your chest, calmed down, mewled softly. For the first time that night, you turned your gaze to him and really looked at him. The warmth you could feel now not just from his caress but from those deep brown eyes, brought you back, gave you strength. Awakened some sense in you. This hurt, you had every right to feel hurt but you wouldn’t be the first nor the last to lose something. To have something stolen from you. To be betrayed. All you could do from now on was forgive and try not to do the same to someone else.

“Hoseok-ah.”

You could feel him give your hand a squeeze in the dark.

“Let’s turn on the lights.”

There was no need to hide, you wanted him to see you, be proud of you, realize he had reached an aching part of you and placed the bandage you needed to start mending what you didn’t know how to fix.