#91 - “Where have you been?”

YoonJin

Word Count: 880

The tick of the clock was much louder than he ever felt one should sound.

And it just,

Kept.

Ticking.

If only there was some other sound in the seemingly cold apartment. Yoongi didn’t want the television on, he’d only stare at it blankly. He could do that perfectly with a black screen or out the glass balcony doors or at the forest green door that was still firmly closed. Tapping his foot on the ground, he kept glancing towards the silent door more times than he would like to admit. More times than he actually would admit to anyone.

The jingle of the knob and the creak of the springs, every inch of his tightly strung muscles wanted to leap to attention. If Yoongi wasn’t so stubborn he’d be on his feet and in front of the door long before it even was cracked open. Stretching his legs out and an arm over the back of the couch, Yoongi continued to stare at the black screen in front of him. Once he could hear his boyfriend stumbling in he asked the question that had been floating over and over in his mind.

“Where have you been?”

The gruffness of his voice would have been very clear to any normal person who had just walked through the door. Except, Seokjin wasn’t sober tonight. In fact he hadn’t been sober for the last three nights, making this the fourth. It wasn’t like him and Yoongi didn’t like it. He could smell the smoke and booze from all the way across the room.

“Yoongi-yah! My baby, come here.”

The broad shouldered male stumbled the few steps he took further into their apartment, dropping his keys on the kitchen counter. Falling into the counter, Seokjin decided it was best to lean against it. He tried to prop his chin on his palm but missed, tried again and barely stabilized himself. Yoongi turned his head and saw just how bad of shape he was in. As angry as he was it hurt him to see the man he loved just spiraling out of control. It was getting to the point that he didn’t know what to do and Seokjin wouldn’t let him anyway. Every time he reached out he was either brushed off or practically slapped in the face. It hurt. It hurt a lot and Yoongi had thought it was worth it. That Seokjin was worth it. Standing up he walked over to his boyfriend of five years.

Seokjin reached out his free hand towards Yoongi’s cheek which the younger deftly avoided. Staring into those beautiful eyes that used to be so bright, full of life and love for Yoongi. Now, well they’ve been devoid of everything for such a long time.

“Where have you been? And I swear to god Seokjin.I swear to god if you lie to me one more time. I’m walking out that door and not coming back.” Laughter bubbled from the drunken man’s lips and he reached for Yoongi, stumbling into him and keeping his arms wrapped around him, lips against the others warm neck.

“B-babyy, you know I love you.” He slurred his words and Yoongi could only ball his hand into a fist as he kept his arms pinned to his side.

“That’s not what I asked...Seokjin, babe, just let me in. Please.” He pleaded while ignoring the kisses that were being pressed against his neck. It was what the other always did, distract. Lately, it was all that he was good at.

“I just played some games with a few coworkers.” And there it was, the lie. It was a half truth, but a lie, is a lie, is a lie. Yoongi was so tired of all the lies, each one wounded him just a bit more than the last. There a limit to how much one could take, there was a limit to how long one tried. Yoongi never thought this day would come and he still didn’t want it to but here it was. He stood at a crossroad and he had been trying so hard not to let it come to this. His boyfriend though was doing everything in his power to push him there. Push him away and keep him away. Even if he was being clinged to in the present, Seokjin wasn’t actually present. He was miles away, so far Yoongi only dreamed of touching him once again.

“I can’t do this anymore.” He pulled off Seokjin’s arms from around his neck and placed them by the others side. Side stepping past the man he loved, Yoongi grabbed his keys and walked towards the door. “Good bye.”

Seokjin turned around calling out to Yoongi, still laughing as if it was all a game. Just like how he didn’t take anything seriously anymore. Reaching for the doorknob, Yoongi watched as his hand shakes, gripping it tighter he turned it and pulled the door open. Taking in a deep breath, he willed himself not to look back otherwise he’d just fall right back into this cycle. A cycle he couldn’t break Seokjin out of no matter how desperately he tried. Letting the door click behind him, Yoongi laid his head back against the door as he whispered,

“I love you.”