#15 - “Stay by my side...please…”

JinKook

Word Count: 922

Nothing needs to change. Jungkook knows this, Seokjin knows this. It’s always been this way between them. They had been in each other's lives for the past ten years and would be for many more. Even still, here was Seokjin at his doorstep, drenched in the downpour that was Incheon in the spring. The older man didn’t even have a jacket. Jungkook rubbed his eyes sleepily as he leaned against his wooden front door and tried to get his blurry vision to focus on the battered man in front of him.

The red lights of his digital alarm clock read 3:47 AM when he had first woken to the incessant knocking. It was always like this. Jungkook would open his door, Seokjin would walk in defeated and in much need of someone who cared for him and Jungkook would welcome him with open arms. Such open arms that if his love didn’t stifle the air in the room, the others sadness would.They both preferred his love. Seokjin craved it and this had become such a routine, the older wouldn’t know where to turn if not for the younger.

Jungkook ran his fingers through his already sleep tousled hair and stepped aside, the dripping wet man stumbled across the threshold, there was only a dim lamp back in the youngers bedroom, but neither man needed the light to find their way through the small apartment. They had been here too many times.

Standing awkwardly in the middle of the living room, Jungkook hurried to his room to get Seokjin warm clothes. The elder slowly hovered by the entranceway to the others bedroom, a line that he refused to cross no matter how many times the younger had asked him to cross it. Their friendship was one with such a strong bond it couldn’t be rivaled by others but there was something that loomed above them day in and day out, even more so on nights like this. It wrapped around the both of them creating a safety net of a cocoon that Seokjin just couldn’t let go of, yet couldn’t fully embrace either.

“Hyung, change into these okay. You can’t catch a cold. God, why did you run out without a jacket. Hurry, hurry.” Jungkook’s dark worried eyes shooed the older man to change in the guest bathroom. Once Seokjin came out, he made his way to the couch, there were still no lights on but a steaming cup of tea was sat on the coffee table in that silly Iron Man cup, Seokjin had bought for the younger seven years ago. He would never get rid of it even if part of the rim was chipped.

As soon as he sank into the couch, Jungkook wordlessly placed the mug in his hands to warm the older up and then proceeded to dry his hair with a towel.The incessant muttering that Seokjin should think of his health more and what was he going to do if he got sick and couldn’t work, now was not the time to get sick and how Jungkook couldn’t play nurse for him anymore since his hours had increased at work as well, ran in one ear and out the other. A much warmer hand than prior reached up to grab the wrist of Jungkook who was starting to scrub his head even harder than necessary as the younger had gotten so caught up in this scolding.

“Jungkook-ah,”

That was all that the elder needed to say to make him freeze, his heart clenching and his dark eyes sparkling in that way they both knew it shouldn’t be but ignored. Pulling the towel off of the elders head, Jungkook let it hand over the back of the couch and gazed at Seokjin’s perfectly chiseled jaw, plump pink lips and eyes that were always as bright as the moon to him.

“Stay by my side… please…”

Tonight would be the same as all the others. Jungkook would hold Seokjin in his arms, heart hammering in his chest, bleeding for all that he can never have, but the cuts healing over because it was him that Seokjin ran to when he was upset, that he shared everything with. Only to cut right back open because Seokjin doesn’t share everything, he doesn’t share his lips against jungkook’s, he gaze at him like Jungkook does, like he’s his whole world, he doesn’t share his bed that has always been waiting for him.

Seokjin will sink into all the love that Jungkook provides him, thoroughly envelops him with whenever he needs it, who is always there for him without any questions. He won’t acknowledge the feelings that are stifling the air around them, that only stifle and show their presence in the darkness of the wee hours of the night, in Jungkook’s small living room, in his arms. Because, Jungkook will never speak those words allowed. Those three important words.

I love you, hangs in the air.

But I’m in love with you, hangs in the air.

I know, I’m sorry, hangs in the air.

It’s okay, hyung, hangs in the air.

Neither speaks these words be. Jungkook will never confess because nothing needs to change. The illusion both males have created is still one that they both need. For another night, the heavy air wraps them in a cocoon, warming both hearts in ways that are so wrong they shouldn’t exist but each thinks to themselves.

Just one more night. One more time. One last time. One...