#58 - “I blew it, didn’t I?”

Yoongi x You

Word Count: 850

Hurriedly, you wiped a tear from your cheek. It was too late, he had already seen. He always did. In fact that might be what he only saw, your tears. Your smiles? Well, they were there just never when he was around. You weren’t sure when it had happened but each smile you had was always in the presence of another. Sitting on the couch next to each other, it was a place you should be comfortable with. How many times have you sat in this exact spot, his arm wrapped around your shoulder, your head tucked against his shoulder, eyes focused on the movie for the night. Sometimes there wasn’t anything on the screen, just the soft chatter between the two of you.

You didn’t know when that other man was in your presence more. When he was the one accompany you to the mall, to a doctor’s appointment you needed a ride to and everyone else was too busy. Hm, did you even ask Yoongi if he was busy?

Well, he was always busy.

That wasn’t true. It was an excuse. An excuse you had created to comfort yourself in the lack of communication between the two of you over the last six months. As much as he didn’t reach out, neither did you.

Sitting on his couch now, arm wrapped around you, his lips pressed against the top of your head it finally smacked you in the face. It smacked you in the face hard. Yoongi was comfortable, you had a lot of memories together. Some good, some bad, a lot sad but many more that were happy. Here you were though, in his arms and just feeling comfortable because it always was. Searching for a smile and a light almost airy voice that always held such warmth and excitement every time it was directed towards you. Min Yoongi, never had such a voice. In fact his was the complete opposite, it was rich, deep, used to send tingles down your spine. The warmth was there, it always was but how could it not after all that you two had been through together?

“I blew it didn’t I?”

He didn’t see the tear, but you weren’t quick enough and he felt it. The atmosphere had shifted as soon as you realized. There were only memories between the two of you now. The love that you shared had changed, it was complacent, not fiery, not enthralling, not the kind that kept you warm just knowing that he was here, beside you. Someone else embodies that now and he didn’t even know it. There had been nothing more than friendship there. When had your heart shifted. When had it left this sweet, caring man who albeit was a bit gruff sometimes but he was solid, a rock, always yours.

Until now.

Shaking your head, you lifted it up off of his sturdy shoulder and put some space between you both so that way you got look at him. See the sharpness in his jawline, the soft curve of his nose, those cheeks that had grown thinner and you wished were just a little fuller. You could see those dark obsidian eyes you always wanted to swim in, those long lashes you would never stop being envious of, his soft silky strands of inky hair that was all mussed from his beanie earlier. You saw all that Min Yoongi was and you knew. This was real. Growing apart happens so naturally, it snuck up on you. Regardless, you’d never stop loving this man.

Just not as the man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with.

No, a man you’d like to keep in touch with from time to time. Such a drastic change. Funny, how feelings, dreams, wants and needs are everchanging.

“No, Yoongi-ah. I did.”

His eyes traveled over every inch of your face as if he was etching it into his memory. He knew, he understood. It was one of the things about Yoongi that you had fallen in love with at first, he was so good at silently understanding. Communication was easy, but when had you stopped communicating altogether? You probably would never know. Reaching out, his large hand cupped the side of your head before smoothing the rest of your hair. His fingers played with the end of your strands, wrapping it around his finger before letting go.

“It’s okay, Jiyoo-yah. Get over here and finish this movie with me. It’s your favorite after all.”

Holding his gaze for another moment, you saw that he wasn’t upset with you, he was accepting, he understood, he felt it too. This was coming, neither of you had acknowledged it. Smiling almost shyly, you scooted closer once more. His arm fell around your shoulders, warm, comforting. Your head laid against his shoulder and you let out a sigh of relief.

Min Yoongi may not be the man you were in love with anymore but he was one of the best men in your life and your ending wouldn’t be with the ending credits of this movie.