Sugakookie

#6/78 “Is there a reason your knees are shaking and your hand is squeezing like there’s no tomorrow?/It’s 2am; I think that’s enough of that.”

Word Count:6933

(I have absolutely no excuse for this fic. I literally spent four hours straight (after writing on/off at work) on this fic. Everytime I wanted it to end either Jungkook or Yoongi was like NOPE, not done yet. I didn't even eat dinner >< Anyway, I hope you enjoy. Also am posting this as a single fic because it's a full fledged one-shot.)

 

 

 

 

 

If you’ve ever had a crush then you probably could understand how Jungkook was feeling right now. Was it even possible to keep your knees from shaking when you were sitting less than an inch away from the person who made your heart race and stomach flip? Ugh, and this sweat? It wasn’t attractive in the slightest but he couldn’t get his palms to stop. This wasn’t the only occasion these reactions had occurred. In fact it had been growing worse with each interaction with the shorter yet older male that he respected more than he could ever put into words. Honestly, the twenty year old still wondered when his feelings had shifted. It wasn’t something that had happened over night though sometimes it felt like that. He had crushes  before but none of the previous ones had ever managed to make him as nervous as,

“Yoongi hyung,” made him.

Especially not when the older man didn’t even do anything out of the ordinary. Things were getting out of hand. Now, he was smiling into the air, seemingly nothing but it was because just hearing his hyung laugh from the other room made him happy. Anything that made the elder smile made Jungkook smile too. Others were beginning to notice his unusual actions and even some awkwardness from time to time. Jimin had totally caught him moving away at the flash of light when Yoongi had walked up to him and stopped so close that their arms brushed. This wasn’t something he should back away from, they had been together for the last four years. They had been living in the same dorm, even when Jungkook was still just an immature teenager and needed some direction. If anything the man who was causing the air to grow thin around him should feel more like a brother. He did. Well, he did previously, like two years ago. Things had slowly progressed from strangers, to friends, to brothers, all the while the awe and respect was just snowballing into a mass he couldn’t even see anymore. Yoongi hyung was amazing in so many ways. Sure he was annoying at times but wasn’t he annoying sometimes too? All the boys were. It was natural. Unlike the other boys though, Yoongi hyung shined. He shined so bright that he was hard to look at and sometimes it even hurt. Yes, things had truly grown out of control.

“Hmm?” Yoongi barely gave Jungkook a response and it was more of a grunt but it was a response. The younger wasn’t put off by it, this was normal and his hyung was reviewing lyrics on his phone that he had written the day before. Jungkook rubbed his hands on his Pokémon pajama pants and contemplated on how to tell Yoongi to move away without sounding rude. He needed some space because right now he had an overwhelming urge to wrap his arms around his hyung’s waist and nuzzle his neck. Yeah, nope, that would not do. He mentally gave himself a slap. This was not the type of things he should be thinking but in his defense it had been a long day. Okay, that wasn’t really much of a defense at all but it was all he had. Rationalization made him feel better… Sometimes.

Just as Jungkook got the courage to open his mouth and ask a large, veiny warm hand gripped his own hand that rested on his knee. His eyes darted down as soon as he felt it. If he felt like he was sweating before then it was even hotter now. He knew, knew, 100% knew that his ears turned red. Hopefully his cheeks hadn’t turned pink as well. Pursing his lips, Jungkook became really frustrated with himself. This was not the reaction he was supposed to be having. Yoongi didn’t mean anything by what he did, it was a normal, casual act that all the members and managers would do amongst each other.

“Kook, look this over for me, huh?” That smooth deep voice washed over his ears and it was so soothing that Jungkook’s thoughts flew right out of his mind. So much so that he didn’t even respond to his hyung. The phone being put in front of him also went unnoticed since his eyes were still on his hyung’s hand covering his own.

“Jungkook-ah?”

Hearing the question, Jungkook snapped his head up, brown hair flying about since he moved so fast. A second later he turned his head towards Yoongi and met a questioning expression that for some reason made his stomach fill with warmth. Biting his lip, the brunette made a snap decision, he needed to leave and he needed to leave now. If he didn’t then he might make a huge mess of things. The surge of adoration that he was feeling for Yoongi came on as sudden as a typhoon and it was dangerous. Standing up he stepped away from the couch and didn’t look back.

“I’m tired. Goodnight hyung.”

Those clipped words were all he said, as his nails pressed into the palms of his hands and the younger made his way into his room, hurriedly shutting the door and diving under the safety of his covers. It was better this way, he needed to get those feelings under control. Under lock and key. A niggling of guilt made it’s way through and Jungkook wanted to shove his covers aside, go right back to his hyung and apologize for his behavior. Explain. However, he knew that he would cave if he met Yoongi’s dark orbs right now. He shined, Min Yoongi always shined so brightly to Jungkook it was a struggle every day to not just reach out and touch.

Touch what wasn’t his.

Touch what he couldn’t have.

Touch what he didn’t deserve.

Days past since their last encounter and neither one mentioned how odd the younger had been acting. Jungkook had felt a couple of gazes that he knew were from one certain person. He ignored them, and ignored and ignored. Maybe so hard that it was obvious. No, it was obvious. However, Yoongi left him alone. It was just like his hyung too. He was always sensitive to his other members needs and wants. Yoongi knew when to give space and when to pry though it was almost never that the elder would pry. Just another reason that Jungkook lov-

Wait. What? Liked him. Yes, just another reason that Jungkook liked and admired his hyung.

Just another lie he was telling himself. Who was he to kid, Jungkook knew very well where that thought was heading and it was just wishful thinking that he changed the direction asap. Letting himself actively admit to anything made it just that much harder. That much more real and that much more of a problem. In his heart of hearts he knew the truth though. He has for a while now. It wasn’t like he didn’t love his hyung, he had since they established a friendship while still trainees. Love was ever flowing and ever-changing but that didn’t mean he had to acknowledge what form his love was taking currently. No, not just yet.

The door creaked open to the practice room. A figure made its way into the doorway but remained there watching Jungkook continue to lie with his eyes closed, sweat dripping down his forehead on the floor, arms out wide. The silence stretched between the two as one didn’t bother to make his presence known and the other didn’t acknowledge the presence he knew was in the room. After a few more moments, a cough echoed in the room as the figure cleared his throat breaking the silence specifically to get the younger to look towards him. Slowly, Jungkook opened his eyes and craned his head towards the figure. From the light in the room black hair with flecks of lingering blue could be seen. It was Yoongi hyung, who still didn’t say a word. The brunette lying on the floor didn’t either.

A moment late of silent communication, Jungkook reached for his towel and wiped off his sweat. Getting up he tossed the towel on his bag and then pulled his timberlands back on and followed his hyung out the door. No questions were asked, just the quiet footsteps of the two could be heard as they made their way through the almost empty building, up the stairs and to the roof. This wasn’t a place they frequented often but every now and then the fresh air was nice. Yoongi took a seat on the thick wall of the building and nodded for the younger to do the same. Jungkook did just that but made sure to put some space between them, not too much to make his hyung suspicious that something was going on with him but not too close so that his heart would be in danger of leaping out of his chest.

Sitting in silence wasn’t unusual when it was with Yoongi hyung. They had done this a number of times and oddly enough Jungkook never got bored. He especially enjoyed it when he were sitting in a position where he could see his hyung. That was never tiring, there was always some fleck of emotion passing through the elders face, whether it was just in his eyes or he scrunched up his nose in annoyance of something not going right or an eyebrow raise when a new idea came that he hadn’t contemplated before. It was almost a mission of the youngers to memorize them all. Tonight though, it would be too difficult unless he made it completely obvious that he was staring.

He let out a soft sigh and almost immediately after he felt the air shift. Yoongi’s hand was covering his own and their thighs were pressed together. Yoongi gave his hand a gently squeeze as he began to speak.

“You okay, Kookie?”

It had been a long time since his hyung had called him that. He wasn’t sure if anyone noticed but every time Yoongi began calling him by a name it became the name he gave on interviews that he liked to be referred as. It made him wonder if Yoongi would go back to Kookie now. He didn’t mind, he’d accept any name that the rapper  gave him. The brunette mulled over the question he had been asked. He wasn’t entirely sure how he wanted to answer that. Currently he was okay, well except for that he was feeling tingles going up and down his limbs, his back was stiff and his stomach had done another flip but that wasn’t what was being asked of him. He had been dancing because he wanted to perfect the next choreography to the song they’d be performing on the music shows soon. Nothing much had really changed for him. He was stuck in the same position he had been for over a year now. Some days were just harder than others.

“Yeah.” Keeping his head down the word came out just above a whisper but with their close proximity he really didn’t need to talk any louder than that. Yoongi began nodding his head as if Jungkook could see him but he didn’t need to. More silence stretched between the two and Yoongi’s hand didn’t leave the younger’s. It took a moment but after he stopped focusing so much on the effects that Yoongi was making him feel, that it wasn’t him feeling those things. His stomach was still fluttering and his hands were still clammy but he wasn’t shaking. Lifting his head up slightly, he looked over at Yoongi, glanced at their hands then back at his hyung.

“Hyung…” the shorter male just grunted in reply.

“Is there a reason your knees are shaking and your hand is squeezing like there’s no tomorrow?”

Yoongi refused to turn his head towards Jungkook and meet his gaze. If it hadn’t been for the fact that it was really dark outside even with all the lights of the city, Jungkook could have seen his hyung blush. Sadly that was not in the cards for him to night. The two could see each other just fine but it wasn’t quite bright enough to see any dustings of pink on either of their faces.

A gruff, “No,” was the reply he got as well as a forced relaxation in the grip that the elder had on his hand but it still never moved. The knees however, well they got a little worse before they got better. A short hushed string of curses could barely be heard but the tone was enough for Jungkook. He wasn’t really sure how to feel at the moment mainly because he didn’t know what to make out of this situation. His crazy mind wanted him to believe that it was a sign, a sign that he had never let himself even dream about receiving. The smarter part of him hushed the fantasy and denied that it could be a possibility. Regardless Jungkook was having a struggle within himself. He didn’t want to hope but his heart had already skipped a beat at the mere inkling that this could be a sign. It felt like one and oh how badly Jungkook wanted it to be one.

“Um…hyung, you’re uh, still ho-“

“I know. Am I not allowed to?” The deep timbre of his voice sent chills down Jungkook’s spine and his eyes widened in surprise. He really didn’t know what to do so his teeth found his bottom lip, biting and tearing at the skin there. It was a bad habit but he couldn’t seem to break it.

“Oh, uh, n-no. You c-can.” Oh for god’s sake, he was stuttering now?! If he could smack himself in the face right now Jungkook would but he didn’t want to do anything more ridiculous than he just made himself feel.

Yoongi’s voice softened and concern set in, “Sorry, Jungkook-ah. If it makes you uncomfortable…” he trailed off and began to lift his hand off of the youngers but it still hovered for a moment. In the end Yoongi ran his hand through his hair and stood up walking further away from the other. Jungkook followed his hyung with his eyes and was baffled by what he was seeing. Maybe it should be him asking the other if he was okay. This was the first time he had ever seen his hyung act so odd and… well, awkward.

 

“It shouldn’t uh, doesn’t, doesn’t make me uncomfortable.” Aish, that did not come out right. Jungkook didn’t know what was worse, telling the truth or covering it up with a lie. No answer was a good answer because neither came out sounding the way that he meant it. He swung his legs back and forth letting his heels hit against the concrete wall he was sitting on. Yoongi let out a dry laugh and tapped the tip of his shoe into the ground a few times.

 

“Shouldn’t… so it does.” He spoke with words softly but in the quiet of the night, Jungkook could still hear them. Letting out a sigh, the rapper turned around eyes flitting towards Jungkook’s for the briefest of moments before dropping down once more.

 

“You should get home, it’s late. I still need to work on some things.” It was the quickest that Jungkook had ever seen the elder put up a wall. They looked at each other and all the brunette could see was… nothing. There was no emotion, nothing, just a blank slab, a dead stare. Exactly what he never wanted to see but he was really confused about the short burst of events that had just transpired. He didn’t know what to say, so he said nothing.

 

Yoongi walked towards the rooftop door and let himself back into the warmth of BigHit Entertainment. Back into the walls he knew they shouldn’t be breaking. Back to the safety of doing what idols do best, pretending that everything is okay even when it’s not.

 

Sliding down the wall Jungkook trudged his way to the door. For some reason his feet felt really heavy, just like his heart. He didn’t even know why but he felt like he had just messed everything up. Should he go after Yoongi? Should he just leave him be? Yoongi was so much better at this than he was. The singer made his way through the familiar hallways full of too many questions and not enough answers. The one thing he did know was that he didn’t want to leave things like this. He wanted Yoongi to smile. Oh, how he wanted the elder to smile. Truly, that was all he ever wanted regardless of his feelings if the elder was smiling then Jungkook could breathe. He could smile too.

 

As he passed by the studio that he knew Yoongi was occupying he hesitated. Standing outside the door, he peered into it. It was almost like he could see the other male in the room and in a way. Jungkook knew what Yoongi was doing and he never grew bored of watching. Reaching out for the doorknob, he held onto it, took in a sharp breath and let it out hard as he opened the door. Walking inside, it was no surprise that his hyung had headphones on. He made his way over but barely got halfway before one of them was removed full from his hyung’s ear and strict words filled the air.

 

“Go home Jungkook.”

 

It felt like he was being scolded but for what? And why? Deciding to ignore his hyung he took another couple of steps in the room. A loud huff was heard and the chair quickly spun around. Those dark eyes were locked with his in a matter of seconds but they were once again devoid of anything. A mask and a good one his hyung was wearing.

 

“I don’t have time to argue with you. Go home, you’re not five you don’t need me to send you.” Spinning promptly back around Yoongi placed the headphone back over his ear though not completely. The younger just stared in confusion at the man in front of him. His words were harsh and it sort of bothered him but he didn’t want to let it. This wasn’t like Yoongi and he understood that but it still was frustrating that he was being treated like a kid even if he was just told he wasn’t one.

 

“Hyung-”

 

Before he could even say anything else, Yoongi had interrupted him and this time he was much louder and very much annoyed with Jungkook.

 

“Jungkook! Don’t make me say it again.”

 

The younger bit his lip but didn’t say anything. He stared for a moment longer but then turned away. This time his heart was racing but not for the same reason it had just twenty minutes ago. Once he made it to the door, he spoke for the last time.

 

“I don’t know what I did hyung, but I’m sorry.”

 

With that he shut the door behind him and leaned against it. A loud crash sounded from inside the room and made him jump but as much as he wanted to rush right back in and make sure Yoongi was okay, he knew better. Instead, he listened to his elder and went home.

 

Last night, he barely got any sleep but upon seeing Yoongi the next morning at breakfast he thought his hyung was truly worse for wear. Jungkook bit his lip a lot that day and often opened his mouth to speak but only closed it right after. The other members noticed but didn’t know how to broach the subject and instead just let things play out.

 

And play out they did indeed. Neither Yoongi nor Jungkook talked unless necessary to each other. They previously would spend at minimum some quality time together at least once a day even if it was spent in silence. The next week was spent in silence but never alone. There was always at least one other person present.

 

“Hyung, you awake?” a loud whisper but a whisper nonetheless filled the dark bedroom.

 

“Yeah?” came the raspy reply, followed by the rustling of bedsheets as one person turned over.

 

“Is Yoongi hyung doing okay?”

 

A small stretch of silence hovered in the room.

 

“Namjoon?”

 

“Why don’t you ask him yourself Kookie?” It was an innocent enough question but it wasn’t one that the younger wanted to hear. Namjoon however was tired of answering this question every single night. Couldn’t the two just talk to each other? This was ridiculous. He didn’t even care what the two must have fought over. They all had to spend basically 24/7 with each other, they needed to figure that out and figure it out soon. Their gloom was starting to settle in his own bones and he really didn’t need any extra reasons to feel down.More than that though he just wanted everyone to be as happy as they can be.

 

“I don’t know what you two fought about but one of you has to break. Maybe you should be the one to be the bigger person.”

 

Jungkook sighed into his pillow. He knew that his roommate was just trying to help but he really didn’t know what to do and it wasn’t as if he could even explain it. How can you explain something you don’t even understand. Namjoon did have a point though, one of them would have to break. Perhaps waiting for Yoongi to figure things out he should offer another olive branch.

 

“Also, where did your manners go huh? Namjoon?” The elder huffed in mock annoyance making the younger laugh.

 

“Thanks hyung.” Some more rustling and a grunt indicated the end of the conversation. Lying on his back, Jungkook became lost in his thoughts once more but eventually he fell asleep with the determination to speak with Yoongi the next time he saw him.

 

That proved to be harder than anticipated. Not because he didn’t see Yoongi but every time he had an opportunity either one of his other hyungs swooped in or he got a rush of nerves and backed down. He had been caught mouth wide open only to snap shut and walk in the opposite direction a number of times. Enough for Jimin to come up to him and ask what was going on.

 

“It’s uh, it’s nothing don’t worry about it.” Jungkook brushed off Jimin easily. He didn’t know what to say and being embarrassed didn’t make that any easier.

 

It wasn’t until it was past one in the morning that Jungkook had managed to find Yoongi alone. He decided to stay and dance a little to stave off his nervousness and then pray that Yoongi was in his studio. For the first time today, luck was on his side. Yoongi was in his studio and Hoseok was just leaving.

 

“Kookie you’re still here? Want to stop at the convenience store with me. Ice cream!” Hoseok wiggled his eyebrows at the younger and Jungkook couldn’t help but laugh. Waving his arms in front of him, he shook his head.

 

“Not today, next time.” Hoseok whined and tried again to seduce him over to the dark side but Jungkook just waved him off again and finally the older man left. Looking into the studio he could only see the back of his hyung’s grey beanie clad head. He could feel his hands starting to become clammy but he ignored it and pulled the door shut behind him.

 

Dragging a stool next to Yoongi, he straddled it and watched as Yoongi made a multitude of clicks on the screen. Now that he was alone with his hyung, he really didn’t know what to say. Reaching a hand out he hesitated, stomach doing it’s infamous flip because he was just about to rest his hand on the others knee to get his attention. That shouldn’t cause such a reaction but he couldn’t help it. Finally, he lowered his hand and touched Yoongi.

 

The elder looked to his right and raised a brow in silent question as to what the other wanted.

 

“Do you want to uh go to the store with me for a sec?”

 

The brow raised even higher.

 

“Didn’t Hoseok just ask you that and you declined?”

 

Jungkook removed his hand from Yoongi’s knee and scratched the back of his neck while laughing embarrassed because that did indeed just happen. He bit his lip, that habit was never going to leave him.

 

“Well, go to the roof with me then.”

 

“Why? Here is fine. Just spit it out.” Yoongi wasn’t being rude he was just being rather obtuse. Jungkook just wanted to make sure they had some time alone. It was late sure but if he had learned anything trainees and idols hung around to practice harder than they should. Prime example was the man in front of him. He just wanted to make sure things were fixed without anything hindering his efforts. Except Yoongi was doing just that. Jungkook let out a sigh.

 

“Please Yoongi hyung? Just for a few minutes.” Gazing into Yoongi’s eyes he pleaded silently. The elder glanced away and fidgeted with his beanie.

 

“Fine but just a few minutes. I have to finish this song in three days.” Immediately a smile spread across Jungkook’s lips and he stood up. Groaning like an old man, this was exactly why they called him a grandpa, Yoongi stood up as well and followed the younger to the roof.

 

Resting his forearms along the wall  of the roof, Jungkook stared out at the city of Seoul that was still quite busy. He really did enjoy the fresh air and wished they could enjoy it more than they got to. It wasn’t often they could freely enjoy the air without prying eyes. Up here, they always could.

 

“You got me up here, you’re not going to hand me a letter now are you?” Jungkook could feel the tips of his ears burning as he processed his hyung’s teasing words but he just shook his head.

 

“I think you’ve been watching too many animes with Tae lately, hyung.” The elder shrugged his shoulders before joining the younger along the wall. Jungkook still didn’t know what he wanted to say in regards to that one night but he knew he had to say something.

 

“Look, I’m sorry for the other night. You know, yeah you know that one. Uh, “ Yoongi coughed, clearly uncomfortable with this topic. Jungkook’s eyes widened slightly, surprised by the apology.

 

“I was just frustrated with myself. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” He knew that Yoongi was very hardly staring out at the city but Jungkook turned his head towards his semi-blue haired hyung a small smile present.

 

“It’s okay. That didn’t bother me. I just didn’t want you to be upset.” The other man didn’t say anything but Jungkook knew that he was listening. He didn’t need any response, he just wanted to let Yoongi know that he would be there for him. That he was always there for him and that he was never alone.

 

“You know that… Well, I’m not great at giving advice but I’m a good listening. Great listener. Y-you can always talk to me.” He wasn’t expecting it but a hand shot out and ruffled his hair.

 

“You're a good dongsaeng, you know that?” Yoongi’s hand was still in his hair and Jungkook’s chest was constricting. He wanted so badly to say, only a dongsaeng, but he knew he couldn’t. He wouldn’t mess up what he was so close to fixing. Had learned some things over the past week. He really, really missed Yoongi. Even though some days they would only say a few words, just those few words and being able to look at his hyung's face was enough for him. Jungkook didn’t want to lose that again.

 

The ruffling slowed and now Yoongi was just running his fingers through Jungkook’s hair. They stayed like that in silence for a few moments. Yoongi’s sigh interrupted it and he removed his hand. Jungkook didn’t really like the way that sigh sounded but he wasn’t good at reading atmosphere and he didn’t really know if he should let it go or not. Treading lightly he quietly inquired.

 

“Hyung?”

 

Yoongi looked down at Jungkook and smiled for the first time in days. It wasn’t his full gummy smile but it was still a smile. It made his heart swell and smile back.

 

“Just thinking about the song, I don’t think I can work on it tonight. Maybe I’ll just work on lyrics, I still need to finish those as well.”

 

“Can’t you do that at home? No offense but you look like .” Jungkook raised a finger to the bag underneath Yoongi’s eye and traced it. When he removed his hand, his ears were burning. He hadn’t meant to do that and the cross expression he was receiving from the man he just touched wasn’t helping him at all.

 

“Excuse me? I look good all the time.” He huffed but laughed a moment later ruining his false bravado.

 

“Yeah, I planned on taking it home.” Pushing himself off the wall Yoongi started walking towards the rooftop door and Jungkook caught up in a few strides.

 

“Do I really look like ?”

 

“Yeah hyung, you really do. Cute though?”

 

“Shut up.”

 

Their laughter filled the hallways and Jungkook didn’t tell Yoongi that he wasn’t just teasing him.

 

Once the two made it home, Jungkook went to shower and Yoongi parked himself on the couch, feet propped up on the coffee table and his lyric journal in his lap, pen scratching away at the paper. He was going to be up for awhile and it probably wouldn't help his looking like business but that was the least of his worries. The younger took awhile in the shower but Yoongi was too invested in his work to tease Jungkook when he came out let alone notice.

 

He did notice however a head nudging its way into his lap and shifting his journal out of the way. 
 

“Yah, I’m writing here.” His words were only met with soft giggles and even though the younger couldn’t see, Yoongi was ever so slightly smiling.

 

“Really though, I am workin-”

 

“Yoongi hyung,” Jungkook interrupted, he was in a really good mood now and didn’t really care that Yoongi was working. Well, he did but he cared about other things more. Like his health.

 

“It’s late, you should sleep.” He tried to reprimand the elder, but it only resorted in a snort from the other. Shifting, Jungkook sat up and laid his head on the others shoulder.

“It’s late, you should sleep Jungkook-ah.” The words were said full of sarcasm but laced with tenderness, especially when the maknae’s name was spoken. It sent a shiver down his back. Eyes looking in front of him, he glanced at the lyrics Yoongi was writing then travelled down to Yoongi’s hand resting on his own thigh. The longer he stared the more he wanted to trace each finger with his own, draw circles on the top of Yoongi’s hand, entwine their fingers. Really, he just wanted to touch Yoongi. More than what he was.

 

“I will when you do.” Cheeky maknae at his finest. Yoongi grumbled but went back to writing. He would make the younger go to bed in a bit. He always worried about everyone else before himself, this was no exception. Getting lost in his task once more, he didn’t notice the hand that was hovering above his own, only to be retracted and then hovering once more.

 

It took a lot of trips on nerves rollercoaster but finally Jungkook traced one of Yoongi’s fingers ever so lightly. This earned him a side glance but not more than that. Jungkook did it again with the next finger and the next and the next. No reaction from the man he was leaning against. Jungkook’s heart continued to pound harder with each passing second as he continued to grow braver. It was intoxicating to give in to his urges and not be denied. He wasn’t exactly being accepted either but he had never once let himself go and just this tiny taste… Well, it made him want to push the boundaries even more. It may not seem like boundaries to others but Jungkook knew what this meant to him and it was definitely pushing his luck.

 

Moving his hand back over to the left of Yoongi’s he lifted it up and slipped his underneath the other, lacing their fingers together. Being as close as Jungkook was, he could hear the small intake of breath that Yoongi had done. He also heard how shakily it was exhaled. Yoongi hadn’t curled his fingers against the younger's and it had him holding his breath.

 

“I thought this bothered you.” The words were barely a whisper but it reminded him of the previous conversation the two of them had about this. He felt like this could be a dangerous situation and he didn’t want to regress but he didn’t want to back down either. He wanted to be honest for once. Jungkook didn’t know where all of this courage came from but if he didn’t stick with it now he knew he never ever would.

 

“It does.” Jungkook replied just as softly, he could feel Yoongi tense up and start to take his hand away. He closed his fingers around Yoongi’s hand even harder, not allowing him to take his hand away, his warmth.

 

“Just not in the way you think.” He said even softer than before. If it wasn’t for the fact that there was absolutely no noise in the living room except their breathing Yoongi wouldn’t have heard those words. Keeping his eyes on his paper, Yoongi tapped the pen against it. Neither male said anything until the pen stopped tapping.

 

“In what way then?”

 

If anyone else could see the two of them it would look like they were having a slumber party and whispering because their parents were already asleep. In a way it was like that. Neither wanted to wake up the other members but for very, very different reasons. It also felt like if they spoke louder than they were that whatever this current mood, spell was would be broken. Jungkook nor Yoongi could afford that right now.

 

Raising his head from Yoongi’s shoulder slowly, Jungkook gazed directly at Yoongi’s lips. He didn’t want to look at his eyes for fear of what he’d see there and then lost resolve. God, he had waited for a moment like this for so long. He didn’t want anything to jeopardize this. His stomach was in knots but something about the atmosphere he knew he was terrible at reading, something about it was telling him, this was okay, now was the time.

 

Fools rush in, and so did Jungkook. He pressed his lips against Yoongi’s and it wasn’t an amazing kiss, it didn’t stop his breath but Jungkook had done it. He had laid his heart bare. What he’d give to do it again and not be so fast, to actually feel Yoongi’s lips against his and put more feeling behind it. Jungkook was an open book right now but he had been too nervous, too greedy, too fast. As slowly as possible he raised his eyes to meet the other males.

 

Those passionate dark orbs were glued onto him and it immediately made the air thick, hard to breathe. Jungkook could tell that his hyung was surprised, it was written all over his face. He didn’t know where to go from here and his stomach was back in knots and his heart was just out of control. He felt really scared that he might have just messed things up but he had to finish seeing this through.

 

“Because, then I can’t control myself.” If that wasn’t the truth he didn’t know what was.

 

The silence enveloped them both and while Jungkook was on the edge of his seat, Yoongi was just slowly being able to pick up all of is pieces. his lips, his eyes slipped down to Jungkook’s lips and then back up to those warm chocolate eyes that he couldn’t find a trace of any jokes. Not that he had really thought his dongsaeng would make such a joke but he had never fathomed this would be happening.

 

Yoongi removed his hand from Jungkook’s and he could feel just how much he was crushing the innocent beautiful person right in front of him.However, he turned in towards Jungkook and raised his hand to cup his cheek. Tilting his head he leaned in and brushed his lips against Jungkook’s pink perfect lips. Yoongi’s hand slid down to Jungkook’s neck and urged the other to let him in. It took a half a moment but then he was deepening their kiss. He was only good with words on paper but he would try. He would. Just after he claimed the kiss he had been aching to give the man in front of him for the last two in a half years.

 

Pulling back, Yoongi laid his forehead on Jungkook’s shoulder.

 

“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that.” He whispered,

 

Melodious laughter rang out disrupting their quiet bubble but to Yoongi it was always welcome. It had been his driving force for too long now.

“I think that’s my line hyung.” Yoongi lifted his head up and stared at the other in very hard disbelief before he smirked,

 

“Too bad.” and kissed the younger again. Jungkook didn’t hesitate this time, he wrapped his arms around Yoongi’s neck and slid his fingers in his hair. Pulling on it, he hadn’t expected Yoongi to let out a moan but it hit Jungkook in a lower region than any of his emotions had been this night. He tugged Yoongi’s lower lip into his mouth and on it as he felt warm hands slide underneath his shirt and along his back. The way those fingers were raking his back, Jungkook didn’t want to let go but he did and along Yoongi’s no red swollen lower lip.

 

Their breaths had grown much heavier than just a moment ago. Jungkook couldn’t stop himself from pecking Yoongi on the lips while trying to find some ground to cling onto even though he didn’t want to. Just as he was about to go back in for more, Yoongi removed his hands from underneath the younger’s shirt. Raising his eyes to meet Yoongi’s he silently questioned him.

 

Clearing his throat, Yoongi looked away but didn’t peel Jungkook’s hands from around his neck.

 

“It’s 2am; I think that’s enough of that.”

 

Jungkook leaned in next to Yoongi’s ear,

 

“But Yoongi-yah, haven’t you been waiting so long to do that?” No  one said that he wasn’t cheeky. Jungkook had never claimed not to be either and now was no exception. He knew what he was doing but the euphoria and warmth he was feeling from everything that had just transpired, he couldn’t help it. He was going to push his luck as much as he could. Plus of all the times he had imagined kissing Yoongi, none of it measured up as amazing as that kiss they just shared. It was intoxicating and he wanted more.

 

A low groan that almost sounded like a growl escaped Yoongi’s lips and he really did peel Jungkook off of him. Rubbing his large hand over his face and jaw, Yoongi moved further away from Jungkook. He shook his finger at the man in front of him.

 

“You, go to bed. I can’t be held accountable for anything more.” He reached down and picked up his pen and journal that had fallen to the floor in the midst of their embrace.

 

“What if I don’t ho-” the younger tried to start but promptly got a finger placed on his lips only to be removed as if it had been burned.

 

“D-don’t finish that.” Turning away, he brought his pen to the paper and tried to focus on the words he had already written. Trying to find that previous strain of thought he had. It was much harder than Yoongi would have liked to admit. Jungkook pouted for a few moments but dropped it in favor of laying his head back in Yoongi’s lap but being careful not to mess with his journal this time.

 

“I thought I told you to go to bed.” A grumpy grumble came from the man above him. Jungkook closed his eyes and got comfortable.

 

“I told you I’d go to bed when you do. Just let me be with you hyung. I’ve missed you.” There was silence between the two of them. It wasn’t uncomfortable. Jungkook knew that Yoongi was carefully choosing his words and the longer he was silent the longest he got to stay in this spot. The elder could be as quiet as he liked.

 

“I missed you too Jungkook-ah. I missed you a lot.”

 

Jungkook smiled so brightly at words he never thought would be reciprocated in the same way as him. Yoongi gazed down adoringly at the younger, a similar smile also gracing his lips before he went back to his work.

 

Jungkook-ah was his favorite way to be referred to as… but only from Min Yoongi.